Home'scool Posted October 20, 2014 Share Posted October 20, 2014 Some of you might remember my post way back about having to pay for your child's college education and how it is harder than you think (translation: don't count on it so much) to get scholarships. Well, my second daughter has gone off to college and I have some more advice to give to all of you who are sending in college applications for next September's enrollment. DO NOT BURN ANY BRIDGES. What I mean by that is: do not decline ANY acceptances to any college no matter how sure your child is that they do not want to go there. Take the college up on ANY deferment and on any waitlist. And when your child does choose their college, and they put down a deposit, DO NOT contact the other schools and say that you have chosen another college and are therefore declining them. Keep all your options open for as long as they allow you to. My daughter was absolutely sure she wanted to go to University Out-of-State. We toured the campus, which was beautiful. Everybody was shiny and happy. The clubs and extracurriculars were all very exciting. It met all her criteria regarding size of campus, number of students enrolled, and location. We had made her apply to University In-State even though she insisted she didn't want to go there. It was too big, she hated the campus, and (final nail in the coffin) her sister went there. She got into University Out-of-State with a scholarship, and University In-State deferred her. Then they waitlisted her. She was so mad when she got the waitlist letter in May because she felt like they had been stringing her along since December. The waitlist letter had a place to indicate if you wanted to be considered for spring semester. She did not check that box. She was done dealing with University In-State and their deferments and waitlists. One and a half months at University Out-of-State, and she hates it. Turns out the size campus she thought she wanted is too small. She sees the same people over and over. The Greek life is predominant and she does not want that. The food is awful. Every night, even Fridays and Saturdays, there are quiet hours starting at 10:00 p.m. Socialization is basically nil. The fact that the average SAT score is much lower than hers is more of an issue that she thought it would be. She calls me crying. She can't stand it and she wants to transfer to University In-State. She now realizes it does have everything she wants. Every weekend her and her friends pile into their cars and drive to University In-State and they have a great time. The food is amazing. The campus is large and updated. So many of her friends go there. She also misses her sister. If she had only checked the box to be considered for spring semester she would have AUTOMATICALLY been able to transfer for the spring semester. But no. We burned that bridge. So we had to call admissions and beg and plead and feign ignorance in not checking the waitlist box. After two weeks of waiting and angst and tears we finally got the news that they would accept her for spring semester. Thank goodness. But how much easier the process would have been to just leave that option open. So when you get the acceptance letters, never ever decline. Eventually a deadline will pass and they will take you off their list, but do not initiate it. You never know what is going to happen and you want as many options as possible for as long as possible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barbara H Posted October 20, 2014 Share Posted October 20, 2014 I'm glad she was able to transfer and I hope she's happier at the in state school. Sometimes students realize very early in fall semester that they made a mistake and usually it is possible to transfer to another school. It sometimes works out because schools often lose some students and are happy to pick up spring transfers. It is important for everyone to understand that ethically it really is against the rules to make deposits at more than one school or to accept more than one offer. When a student puts down a deposit and enrolls they really should let other schools on their list know about their choice so they can free up spots and scholarships for other students. These are the rules that all students are expected to live by and often public and private schools enforce these rules by not allowing the school counselor to send the final transcript to more than one school. As frustrating as it is when kids need more time to make a decision, homeschoolers really should follow the same ethical rules as other students need to follow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwen in VA Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 My understanding was that if colleges hadn't received your ACCEPTANCE by May 1, they assume that you are NOT coming. Yes, it is definitely nice and polite to let the college know as soon as possible that you are not planning on coming, but even if you don't actively decline their offer of acceptance, on May 1 if they have not received your acceptance they will assume that you have found another college you prefer. I am glad things worked out for your daughter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 All of the schools ds is applying to will assume he is not coming if they do not have a deposit by May 1st though some will allow a deposit as late as May 31st with a significant late fee. This kind of stuff varies soooo much. In general though I agree not to burn your bridges until you have to because you don't know what will crop up at the last second. Life certainly does throw a lot of curve balls. For us, we have to wait until the last possible second to make the final decision unless ds's PT goes way ahead of schedule. We won't know if he will be able to live away from home the first year until then so it will affect the decision way more than money. His first choice right now has a very hilly campus that may not be a good choice if his stamina is lagging. It's kind of a nail biter to think about waiting so long to make the final choice. However, we also hold out hope that he continues to heal rapidly. He is currently a bit ahead of schedule and the doctor is quite pleased. OP, I am glad your daughter is able to transfer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brenda in MA Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 My son actually had 3 of the colleges he turned down send him a letter saying that they would keep his information on file and that he would be welcomed there if he discovered that his first choice didn't pan out. I'm glad that things worked out for your dd! Brenda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura in CA Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 My son actually had 3 of the colleges he turned down send him a letter saying that they would keep his information on file and that he would be welcomed there if he discovered that his first choice didn't pan out. I'm glad that things worked out for your dd! Brenda Yes, that happened with my son also. It was nice to have that safety net, although it made *me* feel bad for the colleges ... UCLA even had a little "sad Bruin" icon appear (on the online response form) and something like "are you sure??" :( ... All the UCs said he could change his mind up until the date deposits were due (May 1st, I think). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daijobu Posted November 16, 2014 Share Posted November 16, 2014 Good advice. Thank you for sharing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted November 16, 2014 Share Posted November 16, 2014 It is important for everyone to understand that ethically it really is against the rules to make deposits at more than one school or to accept more than one offer. I have not heard this before! We actually put down deposits at three schools, because we knew housing options were dependent on deposit dates. (And some schools had limited housing.) But, we still had to wait several months to get the final financial aid offer. Once we had all three financial aid offers, her decision was made quickly and we contacted and pulled out of the other two colleges (before May 1). I had no idea this was considered unethical. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoggirl Posted November 16, 2014 Share Posted November 16, 2014 I have not heard this before! We actually put down deposits at three schools, because we knew housing options were dependent on deposit dates. (And some schools had limited housing.) But, we still had to wait several months to get the final financial aid offer. Once we had all three financial aid offers, her decision was made quickly and we contacted and pulled out of the other two colleges (before May 1). I had no idea this was considered unethical. At all but one of ds's schools, a "housing" deposit was distinct from an "enrollment" deposit. What is unethical is to make more than one *enrollment* deposit. At many large state U's one must get housing deposits in to avoid undesirable housing situations. There are exceptions if there is guaranteed honors housing, etc. I think for the big state schools folks making multiple housing deposits is a big money-maker. We did make more than one housing deposit. We forfeited most of that money. Only at our state flagship was some of it refundable since we canceled prior to a certain date. We still lost most of it, however. Had we waited another month to tell them "no" on housing, we would have lost it all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted November 16, 2014 Share Posted November 16, 2014 At all but one of ds's schools, a "housing" deposit was distinct from an "enrollment" deposit. What is unethical is to make more than one *enrollment* deposit. At many large state U's one must get housing deposits in to avoid undesirable housing situations. There are exceptions if there is guaranteed honors housing, etc. I think for the big state schools folks making multiple housing deposits is a big money-maker. We did make more than one housing deposit. We forfeited most of that money. Only at our state flagship was some of it refundable since we canceled prior to a certain date. We still lost most of it, however. Had we waited another month to tell them "no" on housing, we would have lost it all. That's interesting... In my dd's case, 3 of the schools she applied at required a deposit that was good for both a show of acceptance and housing. But, now I feel kind of badly that we had put down three deposits! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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