Why is my DD waking in the middle of the night?

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

She's always woken in the small hours to go to the bathroom most nights, but I just chalked that up to not going before bed like I tell her to. Then, a few weeks ago she started having trouble sleeping past 6:30-7 a.m. most mornings (which I know doesn't sound that unusual, but it is for her). This definitely affects her mood during the day. And last night she woke at 3 a.m. for no apparent reason, and she never fell back asleep, in spite of laying in bed for hours. She tried reading, she tried listening to an audiobook, she tried laying there in the dark...nothing. 

 

She's fairly, uh, spirited to begin with, and this is really not improving her temperament at all. I can't even imagine what later today is going to look like. I've tried making her go to bed earlier, but she doesn't fall asleep then either--just lays in bed, getting grumpier by the minute. I've darkened her room, and that seemed to help, and then it didn't. 

 

Has anyone had any experiences with this? I would love to hear any tips or BTDT thoughts anyone has. Thanks!

[ChristusG]

Maybe try white noise? We all have fans in our rooms, facing away from us, for white noise.

[umsami]

Does she have a clock or night light near her bed? If so, can you move it?

 

Is there anything going on in school which could be stressing her out?

 

This may sound dorky, but DS8 loves some warm hot chocolate (made with milk) before bed.  He also used to sleepwalk/talk…but hasn't done it since we've started the hot chocolate (or if he has, I haven't noticed.)

[zoobie]

Does she snore or have any other signs of apnea? Constipation causing her to wake with a "full" bladder?

 

Has she tried melatonin?

 

There are some guided relaxation CDs/mp3s available on amazon that have worked for my kids to fall asleep. Indigo Ocean Dreams I think is the one we have. They can cue it up themselves on an iPod.

[bettyandbob]

Does she have sleep apnea that you have never noticed. She may never be getting fully to sleep and waking easily as a result.

 

My youngest was found to have severe sleep apnea and had surgery, etc last year. We were at a specialist investigating some other problem and the doctor said "he breaths loud, you should take him to a ear, nose and throat guy and get it checked out."  I realize the oldest probably has the same problem, but he's over 18 and wouldn't seek treatment now.

[momacacia]

For me, it would be low blood sugar. Have a snack before bed with protein/fat. Cheese/crackers, yogurt, bowl of hearty soup. See if that helps and keep a cup of juice by bed for middle of night if she needs it. I'm projecting here, so my suggestion may be useless, but it's an easy try. ;)

[bolt.]

At that age, she probably needs some intentional "how to fall asleep" strategies, because by those hours her body isn't as sleepy as it is at bedtime -- so being more intentional about how to get to sleep when she is less sleepy than usual might help.

 

There are lots of strategies to teach and try. She might benefit from your permission to come to your bed and (very politely) snuggle herself back to sleep for those last few hours. One of my dd9's favorites is to listen to an audio book and imagine cloud-shapes in a sky forming to go with the story.

 

On another note, her feelings are becoming more mature and diverse as she gets older. She may be dealing with mild forms of anxiety, worry, guilt, relationship/connectedness issues, or self-consciousness -- that bother her particularly when she is awake in the night. In this case, perhaps you could try some tweaks to your daytime parenting strategies, aimed at increasing her sense of connectedness and self-ok-ness. (If she is "spirited" the sense of making mistakes or having conflict might just come up fairly often in the day.)

 

For that, although I don't go in for all of "aha parenting" their articles on how to increase children's security and family attachment are excellent. I find them clear and easy to apply.

[Amy in NH]

What time do you have her going to bed?  At 8 years old she may not need as much sleep as she did when she was a preschooler.

[Jennifer132]

For my dd it was yeast overgrowth that was the cause. Because you are saying she is quite spirited and also having sleep issues, I wonder if yeast overgrowth could have something to do with it? Does she by chance crave mostly carbs and sweets? I encourage you to look at Dianne Craft's Biology of Behavior and see if it fits your dd.

 

My other thought was maybe reflux, which can be worse at night.

[redsquirrel]

A friend's kid was waking and it was pinworms. It didn't get figured out until everyone had them. When they all got treated the night waking stopped.

 

On a non-parasitic note, my younger boy (about the same age) has had similar thing happen. He wakes up and never quite gets back to sleep or is wide awake. It seems to happen in clusters and then it does away for months. I think it just happens.

[MissKNG]

Could be a "freak" wake up then if her body clock is on point, it could turn into a habit. My youngest will get into a habit of waking up in the middle of the night for about 4 days then stop. My body clock is awesome, I wake up around 2am every night for no reason.

 

It may just be her body clock clings to habits quickly.

 

Or maybe it's a growth spurt thing.

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

Thanks for the thoughts, everyone. I wanted to come back and update. I spent the next few days and nights watching for signs of some of the things mentioned here, and I happened upon the cause. It was the temperature! She's very sensitive to being overly warm, gets nauseous if she's overheated, etc. We'd had a very cold snap here, so the heat in the house was up a few degrees warmer than usual, and while we were all still shivering in our beds, she was roasting in hers. I started turning the temp down before bed, and last night she even had to open her window to fall asleep, and she's been sleeping through the night since. I'm glad I found the solution, but I think this does not bode well for spring and summer!