Kathryn Posted December 18, 2013 Share Posted December 18, 2013 I don't know if I need advice or just to whine or what. Some women from my church want to throw me a baby shower. I said okay. But now it comes to a guest list and I'm just not good at this. I'm a huge introvert so this isn't my kind of thing in the first place. I feel like I'm being asked to come up with a list of people to solicit to buy me things. I'm not really close with many people. I haven't been to a lot of playgroup events recently and don't know most of them. I haven't had any contact with the moms I once was closer to there since their kids went to school and they dropped the group. I lost some people I was close to when we left our previous church last year and I know there are some hurt feelings with the few I am still in contact with, so I'm wary of that situation. We've only been at our new church a little over a year and I'm really only "friends" with five or six women there, though I chat with others every week. The homeschool group that we do most activities with, I haven't made real "friends" because they're mostly fundamentalist evangelical Christians who want to stick with their own kind and we aren't. My family isn't local. Basically, I have a wide circle of "acquaintances," but not many I feel comfortable asking for presents, which this feels like to me. But, then, if these three women weren't the ones throwing the shower, I think I'd feel awkward asking them to come also, and one is my godmother and one is my children's godmother. Am I just weird and over analyzing? How do you handle things like this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kroe1 Posted December 18, 2013 Share Posted December 18, 2013 Tell them that you have been reading some etiquette books and now do not feel comfortable having a shower for any children other than the first. Nonetheless, could you guys go out to lunch that day instead because it would be fun to have some girl time. Then the 3 of you could have a nice couple of hours getaway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted December 18, 2013 Share Posted December 18, 2013 I'm speaking from experience on both sides. even women you don't know well, will wish you well. it's also an excuse for them to get out and get together at a fun event. allow them to do this for you, they are offering because they want to. I assume they'll invite women from your church as a matter of course. If there are women you would like to be there that aren't from your church and so they are not aquainted with, those would be the ones to provide contact information for them to invite. it there is a large item (car seat/ stroller) you need/really want, let the organizer know and most women would be happy to chip in. those with limited means especially if they can only afford $5, and those with more disposable would generally chip in more. (eta: and some really busy women would be thrilled with a group gift because they don't have to go shopping. though baby shopping can be fun.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Callie Posted December 18, 2013 Share Posted December 18, 2013 I'd explain to the one I'm closest with exactly what you shared here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jerico Posted December 18, 2013 Share Posted December 18, 2013 I would just say to make it an open invitation to the ladies in the church. That makes it simple and takes less off of you. I don't think anybody else would be offended. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ali in OR Posted December 18, 2013 Share Posted December 18, 2013 I would just say to make it an open invitation to the ladies in the church. That makes it simple and takes less off of you. I don't think anybody else would be offended. Agree. This is the way the showers at our church always were (it's been years since we've had any babies born). Those who want to celebrate every baby will come to all the showers, even if they don't know the mother closely. I wouldn't try to invite people I know from other circles. They can always arrange their own group gift or give when baby is born if they're so inclined. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted December 18, 2013 Share Posted December 18, 2013 I think the open invite is a good option too. If gifts are a concern, a fill-the-freezer-dish-gift is an option for expecting moms. I'm one of those people who love buying baby-shower gifts btw; babies are easy to buy for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted December 18, 2013 Share Posted December 18, 2013 I agree with the open invite thing and the group gift. That way those on limited incomes can contribute just a few dollars while those with more can give more and you can end up with a nice usable gift. The names just all go on the card so no one needs to know that Sally gave $2 while Suzie gave $50. Many women just like the social outing of a shower and you might find a lot of the younger senior ladies there (at least that was common in the past when we had showers). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathryn Posted December 18, 2013 Author Share Posted December 18, 2013 Thank you! I'll talk to the women throwing the shower. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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