Sophia Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 'Fraid not. My 12 y.o. is as sweet as the day is long. People always notice her obedient helpful nature and want to know what I did. Truly, I did nothing, she got an extra helping of goodness when she was born. Her weakness, however, is exercise. She hates to sweat. The way she's built, she really need to develop some good exercise habits. She's taller than me at 5'3", wears a size 7 in clothes, size 8 in shoe and she's not done growing. And she's only going to be a 7th grader this year. Shoot, I didn't have any hips to speak of until I had my first baby. I keep her swimming during the summer, but now that's over and she'd be perfectly content to sit on the couch reading until next summer. It's too hot to send her jogging, plus her db and ds tell me she walks as soon as she's away from the house, so I told her she needed to start doing an exercise class from OnDemand. Oh the DRAMA! She's not even my drama queen;the 6 y.o. holds that title. This is the first time in her life she's come close to throwing a tantrum! She cried, she screamed, she pouted, she acted as if she had no control over her limbs and wouldn't do simple kicks that her younger sister's were doing. So I lost my temper and told her she'd be doing the class until midnight if she didn't straighten up. That was received really well:rolleyes: Thing is, I love to exercise. Until my 4th child was born I spent two hours a day at the gym because it was that important to me. I have tried to explain to my older dc that physically pushing their bodies to do what it doesn't want to helps them learn they are stronger than they think and will help them persevere in other areas. But my 12 y.o. doesn't want to hear it. If it makes her sweat, forget it. Part of me thinks I'm projecting my love of exercise on to her and should ease up. If I ease up she will never voluntarily do anything physical and will gain weight (she has a big appetite.) Plus she's just not being a good steward of her body by not exercising. So I'm going to make her exercise. I'm just thrown for a loop because I've never had to deal with any defiance from this child. O.K., vent over, I feel better now :D. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sophia Posted August 13, 2008 Author Share Posted August 13, 2008 Yikes, that was long! Sorry! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 But my 12 y.o. doesn't want to hear it. If it makes her sweat, forget it.Part of me thinks I'm projecting my love of exercise on to her and should ease up. If I ease up she will never voluntarily do anything physical and will gain weight (she has a big appetite.) Plus she's just not being a good steward of her body by not exercising. So I'm going to make her exercise. I'm just thrown for a loop because I've never had to deal with any defiance from this child. O.K., vent over, I feel better now :D. Poor baby! And poor dd too! :D Well, all I can say is you gotta do what you think is best for your kids. My niece is built that way and now at 20 she is WAAAAAY overweight. I feel so bad for her because she is so young to be so unhealthy. Her mom however was always concerned about hurting self esteem and therefore would never even suggest to the girl she needed some exercise. Sounds though like she feels she has no control over this issue....what is HER suggestion for getting some exercise? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LG Gone Wild Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 My mom was like you (into exercise) and I was chubby. Of course, as an adult, I love to exercise now. I probably would have reacted the same as you so...don't feel so bad. Truthfully, I hated exercise because my mom pushed it on me since she thought I was fat and ugly. She exercised alot as well. Another reason I hated exercise was that I was never hydrated enough so I was always uncomfortable, tired, and overheated. Truly, hydration makes all the difference. My dd is only 5 so I make her do whatever but at 12, I would, to the best of my ability, search high and low to find an activity that leaves her exhilirated (can't spell). Exercising to TV can make someone feel silly. Try a dance company that offers all kinds of classes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenneinCA Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 Could you sign her up for swimming year round? Or some other kind of activity? Then she would do something and you would be happy too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sophia Posted August 13, 2008 Author Share Posted August 13, 2008 "Exercising to TV can make someone feel silly." Really? That honestly never occurred to me. I'll have to investigate that further... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 "Exercising to TV can make someone feel silly." Really? That honestly never occurred to me. I'll have to investigate that further... Oh yes! I STILL have trouble exercising where someone might see me. Even running with my dh (of 25 years!) is not as comfortable for me as running alone. I always felt out of sorts as a teen whenever any kind of sports was concerned. And I wasn't a bit overweight or insescure in any other area. ETA: I do wish I had been pushed JUST a little in this area....but I was pretty stubborn and may have fought it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lostinabook Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 Thing is, I love to exercise. Until my 4th child was born I spent two hours a day at the gym because it was that important to me. I have tried to explain to my older dc that physically pushing their bodies to do what it doesn't want to helps them learn they are stronger than they think and will help them persevere in other areas. As someone who HATES HATES HATES to exercise & HATES HATES HATES to sweat & is married to someone who thinks that exercise is a glorious wonderful fabulous thing & that if I just did it this way, or that way, or more often, or... I would just love it, I understand where your dd is coming from. You are right; she does need to exercise & it does need to become a habit she'll carry with her throughout her life, but I gotta tell ya that I am totally immune to anything dh says on the issue when he starts extolling the wonders of fitness. Is there anything at all she does like to do? Could she start out with walking? Could you guys walk together & then add some jogging in a little bit at a time? Are there indoor swim teams available in your area? I'm truly not sure what to say that would be helpful. I just wanted you to know that there's at least one grown woman who really really really sympathizes with the position your dd is in. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LG Gone Wild Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 "Exercising to TV can make someone feel silly." Really? That honestly never occurred to me. I'll have to investigate that further... I am wondering if resistance to exercise is due to feelings of shyness and awkwardness (perceived or not). She probably doesn't want to jog because she may think she looks dumb. She may not have the cardio to jog for long, feels embarassed doing it, gets frustrated with inability to jog so she just gives up. A person walking is less noticeable than someone struggling to jog. Preteens and teenagers can be very sensitive, prickly even. They can think people are always watching them, waiting for them to embarass themselves. So they just don't try. That's how I felt. Anyway, best of luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam "SFSOM" in TN Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 DDR is your answer! Really. Get it, don't call it exercise, and get out of the way. Then when it gets totally out of control, tell her she's only "allowed" 1 1/2 hours a day and that's IT, young lady! It's fun. It's sweaty. Other 12 y/o's do it. And it's almost guaranteed that she will not howl about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adrianne Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 Plus she's just not being a good steward of her body by not exercising. So I'm going to make her exercise. I'm just thrown for a loop because I've never had to deal with any defiance from this child. O.K., vent over, I feel better now :D. I think you are doing the right thing. It is when they are young that we must instill good exercise/eating habits. If she is not taught now, she might not ever learn these good habits and will battle obesity her whole life. She needs to find something she is willing to do, some form of exercise that suits her. I am sorry you have to deal with the crying, I know how that is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LG Gone Wild Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 DDR is your answer! Really. Get it, don't call it exercise, and get out of the way. Then when it gets totally out of control, tell her she's only "allowed" 1 1/2 hours a day and that's IT, young lady! It's fun. It's sweaty. Other 12 y/o's do it. And it's almost guaranteed that she will not howl about it. Is that the dance video game or something? Gosh, how much is it, btw? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fosterisacoolcat Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 How about yoga? Walking? I suspect she is at that stage where one feels that everyone is staring and noticing every.little.thing. I hope you find something! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 I wouldn't demand any one type of exercise. Allow her to find her own. If she would rather walk then run, well, walking it is - daily for X amount of time. Would she prefer to throw some yoga in? Can you get her into a class? How about dance, gymnastics, martial arts, more swimming or something along those lines? Does she do better with a team? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam "SFSOM" in TN Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 Is that the dance video game or something? Gosh, how much is it, btw? Yeah, it's Dance Dance Revolution. You see them in arcades, and you could probably google a youtube video and see it. We use ours on a Playstation II, which you can buy used, and you can find used games on Ebay or at GameStop (better, IMO). You'll need a pad, but they can be found relatively cheaply. Per use, it was one of the cheaper games out there for us though we needed a pad for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelli in TN Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 Do you have a wii? If so wii fit is a nice workout for the whole family. It's fun, it has variety and family members can compete without competing in person. I do mine at about 5:00 or 5:30 when everyone is still in bed. The kids always check to see if I have outscored them on anything that morning while they were asleep and then they set out to beat my record. It's good fun and gets us all moving. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharon H in IL Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 To use a sports analogy, put the ball in her court. Tell her she needs to take care of her body for the rest of her life, starting now. The hard part for you will be if she comes up with something you don't like to drive her to, or you have some objection to. (Pole dancing, anyone? :lol: -- sorry, Doran's post about her crazed FIL came to mind, and I couldn't resist.) I would have loved any kind of dance at that age. It's not exercise, it's making beautiful movements with your body, to music! Well, that was how I looked at it. And I *hated* exercise and sports with all the passion in my chubby, super-hairy-legged adolescent heart. Horseback riding? Start a homeschool pom-pom squad? Teach little neighborhood kids to do active outdoor games and stuff in a money-making business like a Preschoolers Summer Camp? Indoor swimming? Diving? Water ballet? Brainstorm with her, and make it fun. Let her know you're on her team, and you want a win/win solution. Put on your thinking cap, Mom! Be creative, be silly. But tell her she has to come up with a plan. And you'll be supportive. Because you love her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in the Kootenays Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 :grouphug: I think we've all done something similar My non athelete had to do 30 minutes of activity - her choice. I bought her a yoga DVD, encouraged her to walk, etc. Now at 16, she's a lifeguard, a blue belt in karate and bikes everywhere. She just needed to find her way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMindy Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 I am that child that. Or, at least I was. I still don't like to exericise, but the reality is that I have to. I work very hard to not gain weight and stay healthy, but I do NOT like it!! My mom would make me do exercise and I am actually thankful for that. You will probably never make her love it like you do. That's OK. Give her a big hug and say, "You don't have to like exercise, but it is something we ALL have to do to take care of ourselves. I'm so sorry that this isn't fun for you. I wish I could make it fun, but what type of exercise would YOU like to do?" etc..... I think you are doing the right thing, but maybe you could give her a menu of options and let her choose. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sleepy Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 I am wondering if resistance to exercise is due to feelings of shyness and awkwardness (perceived or not). She probably doesn't want to jog because she may think she looks dumb. She may not have the cardio to jog for long, feels embarassed doing it, gets frustrated with inability to jog so she just gives up. A person walking is less noticeable than someone struggling to jog. Preteens and teenagers can be very sensitive, prickly even. They can think people are always watching them, waiting for them to embarass themselves. So they just don't try. That's how I felt. Anyway, best of luck. Yep, this is what I was thinking. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 Here's a link to the President's Challenge for teens: http://www.presidentschallenge.org/index.aspx Lots of info and ideas there. Just click on "teens" on the left sidebar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fourmother Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 I also dislike exercise, and really hate the idea of doing it where I could be seen by others. My mother is rail thin, and let's just say that I'm not. She has a thing about heavy people, and will openly make comments about them in public. She let me know growing up that I was too big, and even complained to her own mother about how fat I was getting. I found out because when I saw my grandmother at a family reunion she said, "I heard you were getting so fat, but you're not as big as I thought." Sophia, I'm not saying that you are like my mother. I'm just saying (gently) that perhaps your daughter is hearing your healthy encouragement to exercise as criticism and disapproval, even though it isn't intended that way. You present yourself as a caring and dedicated mother, so I'm sure that you have told your daughter she will be loved and cherished no matter what she looks like. This is so important. At some point the ball really is in dd's court, and all the encouragement or pressure in the world won't make a difference. When she decides to make a change she will. If she doesn't she won't. Obviously obesity isn't ideal, but there are plenty of overweight people in the world who live full, rich and happy lives. I know this isn't a popular sentiment given the emphasis on weight and appearance in our culture, but it's true nonetheless. We want the all the best for our children. Good luck in helping dd find an exercise regimen that will work for her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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