Hats for chemo?

[myfunnybunch]

My dear friends and I have been friends for....gosh, longer than I want to admit because I am certain I am not that really this age. More than 30 years, anyway.

 

One dear friend is going through chemo for breast cancer. She sent us pictures of her beautiful self with no hair. (She's gorgeous.) We're far away, but would like to have a Hat Party by mail. I need ideas for hats that are cute and soft and comfy. Suggestions? Links?

 

Thanks!

 

Cat

[Chris in VA]

Thought there were a number of cute, comfy-looking hats here 

 

Did you want to buy or make? 

 

Here's some cotton ones at Etsy.

[itsheresomewhere]

Does she want a hat party? This can be a very personal choice. If she does want it, get hats made in several types of yarn/fabric. Some fabrics can feel good one day and next week be the itchy hat.

[Cinder]

If you're considering making a hat there is a lot of info (patterns, yarns, materials) at Halos of Hope.

[myfunnybunch]

Does she want a hat party? This can be a very personal choice.

 

We're not actually going to hold a party. :) We don't live nearby. She says that knowing we're with her in spirit is a great comfort. We're making care packages to send to her by mail so that she receives them just before her treatments, and we'd like to fill one with hats.

 

I've known her for a very long time, and while I think the idea of an actual hat party would be a little overwhelming, I am almost certain that a package of thoughtfully-chosen/made soft hats with notes from her long-time friends will be welcomed.

 

Cat

[itsheresomewhere]

We're not actually going to hold a party. :) We don't live nearby. She says that knowing we're with her in spirit is a great comfort. We're making care packages to send to her by mail so that she receives them just before her treatments, and we'd like to fill one with hats.

 

I've known her for a very long time, and while I think the idea of an actual hat party would be a little overwhelming, I am almost certain that a package of thoughtfully-chosen/made soft hats with notes from her long-time friends will be welcomed.

 

Cat

I would really check with her. It is like scarfs, very personal. To some it is saying your not pretty without your head covered. Now a note party is a very nice thing. One of my favorite patients I worked with had people sending her the funny cards weekly.

[Laurie4b]

Many women wear wigs during chemo and don't wear hats except maybe to bed. A kindle party would be nice. Lots of reading material if she is a reader and she can take it to treatments .

 

ETA: I was in a position where it was hard to type before. If your friend is planning to wear a wig, then she may only need a couple of soft hats for wearing around the house.  Here's a good source: http://www.tlcdirect.org/Cancer-Hats-and-turbans-for-Women-Cancer-and-Chemotherapy-Patients-American-Cancer-Society-TLC-Direct. Hats are also often given out free to cancer patients, made by volunteers.

 

If she is going to have radiation, long scarves are helpful--not for her head, but to cover her chest because it hurts too bad to put on a bra and she may want to be able to cover up with the scarves. This is especially true if she will have a mastectomy without reconstruction, but even if it's only a lumpectomy, the radiation burns make bras torture and so the camouflage helps if she usually wears a bra.

 

Other suggestions besides the Kindle $$.

 

Cancer patients don't want to have their identity become "cancer lady." So some gifts that are NOT oriented to cancer are helpful. For instance, if you have 6 people instead of each buying a $15 hat, have two buy hats, and others buy gift certificates to a nice restaurant nearby so that she can go out for dinner to celebrate when she gets a break and is feeling good enough to go out. Depending on their insurance, their co-pays may use up any money they might have for things like this. And even if they can afford it, a night of celebration from a friend can be a real encouragement.

 

Be aware that while the actual treatment is grueling, it's not over when it's over. Most women have to take some kind of anti-estrogen pill which can cause side-effects of its own and the new recommendation is for 10 years. So planning to be there to provide encouragement for the long haul is important, too. There is a program that is a joint effort between Livestrong and the YMCA (and maybe YWCA) in which cancer patients get a free 3 month membership at the Y and a fitness program tailored to their needs.

 

Exercise is good for cancer patients, so a fun DVD or two (obviously not Xtreme type stuff) of gentle stretching, moderate dance, etc. could be nice. Some kind of exercise accessory might be nice.

 

And a "don't": some people automatically think of helping a person by giving them supplements, etc. Supplements can work against a cancer patient because unlike many diseases, the cancer cells are actual cells of the person's body AND they are the fastest growing cells. So if you put in a lot of extra vitamin C, guess which cells get most of it? The cancer cells. So supplements can end up protecting the cancer cells from the effects of treatment. The oncologist should approve absolutely anything the patient takes. (I'm just adding this in case anyone in your group thinks of a "health" gift.

[myfunnybunch]

Thank you all who responded. I'd love more hat suggestions.

 

I do know my dear friend well enough to know that she will treasure a box of hats. :) This is, unfortunately, not our first time around this particular block together as a group. You're just going to have to trust my judgment and knowledge of my friend on this.

 

Cat

 

[MomatHWTK]

Were you wanting to make one or purchase?  There's probably at least one store in your town that sells chemo clothing, I know ours have a few.  You might check there first so that you can actually see and touch the product.  Otherwise, I've seen lots of listings on etsy when I've been browsing for knitting patterns. Does your friend have a favorite TV show or "theme" that you could look for?   As others have said, different yarns have a different feel.  If purchasing online, I'd probably search for makers who specifically mention that their hats are for recovery.  

 

Have you seen this article?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/shelley-nolden/chemo-hair-style_b_3640951.html

[ThatHomeschoolDad]

Cancer is individual and patients are individual, and not every patient has the same reaction to hair loss. Some just go commando, some do the scarf or wig. I actually see far fewer hats around my local center than those options.

 

There is also the message, which was mentioned above. Hats can send the wrong message- she knows she looks different already, and this is part of her new normal, for a short time or for a long time.

 

Patients need lasagna, they need an ear, they need the dog walked and the kids taken to dance class. Chemo and/or radiation can bring on bone-crushing fatigue, so the best gifts are things that help. If you're long distance, send a gift card for grocery delivery or something like that.

[KnitWit]

Hi Cat, 

 

My neighbor spent the last year battling ovarian cancer.  I made her a hat and shawl out of Caron Simply Soft yarn (which is completely washable AND dryable) and she LOVES them.  My neighbor has a wig and lots of scarves, but she lost a lot of body fat through this process and she stays on the cool side body temp wise and she wears my hat more than anything.  I'm going to make her a new one for this winter.  

 

This is the hat I made her.  It's a free Ravelry download pattern.  I chose it because the sides come down a bit over her ears and it sits on her head more like a "hat" than a toque.  She said the yarn is SUPER soft and does not itch at all. 

http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/the-amanda-hat

 

This group on Ravelry has lots of great info about hat patterns and yarns suitable for chemo patients.  

 

http://www.ravelry.com/groups/chemo-cap-pattern-library

 

As others have said, there are plenty of places to buy ready made hats, but my neighbor, who is a good friend, was so touched by the time that I put into choosing a pattern, yarn, knitting...and knowing she was in my thoughts and prayers through the whole process.  She said all of that was as much a part of the gift as the hat.   :)

 

I hope the above info is helpful to you!  You can do a "chemo" or "chemo hat" search on Ravelry and find more.  

 

 

[KnitWit]

And just to add...there seems to be a lot of negative response on the hats, but I have had several women close to me battle cancer and all of them have loved a nice warm hat made by someone who KNOWS and loves them.  Don't be discouraged.  YOU know YOUR friend.  I think she will love your idea.  

 

My friends and family members have all had folks who didn't know them as well who gave some of the other things mentioned.  Perhaps your friend will also. :)  

 

 

[Jane in NC]

Well this is the hat that I made for my friend who underwent chemo.

 

My friend preferred scarves for much of daily life but liked the hat for cold days.  The pattern was less important than the yarn in this case.  I bought something that reminded me of the beach where we usually get together.  I wanted her to be embraced in those warm thoughts.

 

Ravelry has tons of patterns for hats. I would look there. I would also add some scarves to your box.  There are some very stylish ways to tie them!

[Lizzie in Ma]

There are a ton of free patterns on line but I wanted to mention that choice of yarn is critical.

Natural, non-wool fibers like the bamboo and silk yarns, cotton yarns and other like them are best because they won't irritate a sensitive scalp.  There are a few baby yarns that are soft and fuzzy that worked for my sister in law as well but the bamboo and silk hats were her favorites and the most comfortable for her.

[jenn-]

This is my go to pattern for the people I have made chemo hats for. http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/cotton-skull-cap-ii-chemo-cap I have found that hobby lobby's I Love This Cotton is the softest of the cotton yarns around here. I have one friend that wore it every single night because her head sweat so badly and she could easily rinse it in the morning. I eventually got her a spare so she could alternate as needed.

[myfunnybunch]

And just to add...there seems to be a lot of negative response on the hats, but I have had several women close to me battle cancer and all of them have loved a nice warm hat made by someone who KNOWS and loves them.  Don't be discouraged.  YOU know YOUR friend.  I think she will love your idea.  

 

My friends and family members have all had folks who didn't know them as well who gave some of the other things mentioned.  Perhaps your friend will also. :)

 

Thank you. I am not discouraged. :) I know my friend and am certain that hats will be welcomed, especially as winter is coming on. She knows we see how beautiful she is in and out every day, and would never interpret a gift from us as anything other than deeply loving.

 

We have spent quite a bit of time by phone and by email with this friend, individually and as a group, and understand her individual reaction to her hair loss and her preferences for head covering. Another of our small group has been through breast cancer treatment and is cancer free, so we've been through this together as a group. I watched my dear stepmother go through chemo-related hair loss three times before she died of breast cancer. This is not a naïve "well-meaning" gesture, nor is it the only thing we're doing to help.

 

Thank you so much for your encouragement!

 

Cat

[Happy]

When I was doing chemo for breast cancer last year, I lived in caps. Feminine ball caps mostly. While it was cold out, I liked have a soft knit cap on my head. I got a couple of good ones from friends.--lighter and softer than ski caps...with something decorative on them. Scarves were good because the back of my neck got cold a lot.

 

I had a wig, but I didn't wear it much. (Business appointments only.)

 

I loved friends who texted me on odd days, emailed or called...cards often and funny were appreciated. A couple of long distance friends must have marked their calendars with my chemo schedule because they called the week of each treatment. Short, upbeat, and encouraging.

 

 I did a lot of reading but not what I normally read, so iffy there. Someone coming to clean my house or mow my lawn would have been a huge blessing. A gift card for a massage can be fun. As she finishes yoga classes are good to keep flexible.

 

Ford has a warrior in pink website with some encouraging tee shirts. I got mine as I completed treatment, but I would have like a couple of them for wearing to treatments.  

 

Tell your friend what doesn't kill her WILL make her stronger. Blessings from a survivor!