Do you let you child do 1 subject ALL day!

[Pongo]

I posted a little about this, but honestly my 10yod dd, the one that normally does amazing at anything she puts her little mind to has taken the beginning of this school year to test my patience.

 

She is moving through her shcool work like she is in quicksand. Now mind you she is not complaining, she IS doing the work but, she honestly could spend the entire day doing schoolwork Arghhhhh!!! We had plans to go to the Zoo today, and instead I am still waiting (it's bee a LONG 2 hours) for my dd to hand in her math.

 

So now everyone suffers:001_huh::001_huh:

 

Should I just limit it to 45 minutes and whatever dosent get done moves to the next day. I am stressing and it's week 2 :confused:

[JFSinIL]

Giver her a set time to finish - what is not done becomes homework for later on.

If work piles up then she has it to do on weekends, too. If she misses a few fun events/trips due to unfinished work.....she'll speed up. Just do NOT lose your temper. Act like YOU do NOT care. Otherwise she "wins" if there is any power struggle going on.

 

Been there, done that.

[Pongo]

Giver her a set time to finish - what is not done becomes homework for later on.

If work piles up then she has it to do on weekends, too. If she misses a few fun events/trips due to unfinished work.....she'll speed up. Just do NOT lose your temper. Act like YOU do NOT care. Otherwise she "wins" if there is any power struggle going on.

 

Been there, done that.

 

Do you think 45 minutes is fair? I tend to bake when I get stressed so I don't lose my temper. This week alone I have made cookies, brownies , 2 loaves of bread and yesterday I digressed, and made dog biscuts:D

I am rumaging through the kitchen to find something to bake, I think rasberry squares. Worst part is I EAT it..yup stress cooking and eating:001_huh:

 

I'll try that , thanks for the advice.

[tristangrace]

Does she have any idea why she's moving so slowly? Kids differ in their self-awareness and ability to articulate, but I figure it never hurts to ask if the kiddo has any insight into what's going on . . . .

 

Susan

[Pongo]

I never thought to ask:confused:, I will go and do just that.

 

Okay, I am back and this is what she said ( I had the laptop on my lap and typed as she responded she's reding so she did't even notice):

 

Me:Honey, it seems like you are moving very slowly through your school work, is everything okay?

dd:Umm-hum (peeks up over her book), just sometimes it gets really hard (said with a mouth full of pretzels).

Me:What's hard, the math or trying to complete your school work in general?

dd:Well (sigh), sometimes the math , and when B (brother) was down here, he made so much noise talking to himself , I got distracted and started listening to him. (note to self- why is my ds talking to himself:confused:)

Me:What do you think would help you get your work done quicker?

dd: Um, I dont know what would help me get done quicker, Um, Um,(peeks over the book)........ less math (in a shy voice)."

Me:Are you finding the math hard or time consuming. I mean, is it the type of math or the amount of math (I ask this because she is doing Pre-Alg in 5th)

dd: Probally, the amount (pause) mabye a little bit of both, yea a little bit of both. I really just wish it wasn't so much.

Me: How about if we give you a time limit, and whatever you get done you get done.

dd: Huh? ,That's sounds good, wait.... would I have homework at night?

Me: How about I set the timer for 40 minutes, and you promise me you will try your hardest, we'll see over the next week how much you getting done and we'll decide then if there will be any homework. I'll also ask that you do your math at the math center (we have a small library, and it's quite there, with a math corner I set up for my 6 yod). How does that sound?

dd: Alright

Me:Alright? Come on, what do you think, for real?

dd: I think that sounds good. Would that be 1 exercise a day, you think?

Me: Depends, could be 1 or more, whatever you get done in the 40 minutes.

Tell me honestly, how do you feel about this new plan.

dd: Better, it took me over 2 hours today (no kidding, I say to myself)

Me: Okay, starting Monday, okay babe.

dd: Yep.

 

Well, now I feel like a bum because she wasn't trying to be fresh...

[Starr]

So sorry for the frustration. This is my life and it's not a power struggle. He just likes to "think thoughts". I guess I''ll try the "save for later homeswork" approach. Missing things doesn't seem to matter to him. :)

[Rhonda in TX]

My DS has spent all day long on math before and it was enough to make me pull my hair out. I now set time limits for every subject. We move on, even if he isn't finished. He goes back and finishes once he's done with everything else. This has worked very well for us.

[arcara]

It helps my dd to have a timer on her desk. This might be stressful for some dc, but my dd likes it. Without the timer, she doesn't realize how much time is passing. With it, she has a goal and is really proud of herself when she has finished quickly. She also likes the 'extra' time she has at then end of the day to play.

[arcara]

It helps my dd to have a timer on her desk. This might be stressful for some dc, but my dd likes it. Without the timer, she doesn't realize how much time is passing. With it, she has a goal and is really proud of herself when she has finished quickly. She also likes the 'extra' time she has at then end of the day to play.

[LadyAberlin]

Well it used to take me about 1.5 hrs to complete a full Saxon Alg 2 lesson when I was homeschooled. So sometimes it can be slow going.

[Another Lynn]

Hope you don't mind if I had a few chuckles as I read.

 

(note to self- why is my ds talking to himself) :lol:

 

And I just want to make sure you didn't eat the dog biscuits! (You are a seriously good Mom to make the dog homemade treats!)

 

Sounds like you already have a happy ending. Hope your plan works next week! (And thanks for the chuckles! - I needed them!)

[rhrice3]

Pongo,

A friend of mine and I had this same conversation 4 years ago. Mostly, it was a conversation as much as a complaining session! I had an 11 yr old boy that I seemed to be always on to finish! She had a new high schooler doing the same thing. We both finally decided that we were making it too easy for them both by sitting with them until it was done. (I would end up angry that I was getting nothing done.)

We decided to give them all their work, go over teaching with them and/or instructions, allow them to ask questions when we were available, but at 4:00P.M. we both went off the "teacher" clock. Everything went to the next day, and if they did not finish by Thursday or nearly so, weekend activities were cancelled so they could spend all weekend working on school.

I have kept this same idea in place over the last 4 years. I start Monday morning with a new week, unless interrupted by holidays or family issues, so you had better be finished with the week before!. The Thursday night deadline works really well as they get older and want to do weekend social things.

Hope this helps. Good luck

RRice

[oakmom]

My son used to take a long time to complete a math lesson. Now he sets the timer and works for 5 minutes times his age per day. The next day he just picks up where he left off. Most days he finishes more that a lesson.

 

I think he just felt like there would never be an end when he had to do a lesson. Now with the timer set, he knows it will end. Our deal is that he needs to be working for the entire time. If he needs to shrpen his pencil or go to the bathroom or something he pauses the timer.

[Pongo]

Hope you don't mind if I had a few chuckles as I read.

 

(note to self- why is my ds talking to himself) :lol:

 

And I just want to make sure you didn't eat the dog biscuits! (You are a seriously good Mom to make the dog homemade treats!)

 

Sounds like you already have a happy ending. Hope your plan works next week! (And thanks for the chuckles! - I needed them!)

 

Well, I did ask my ds , what do you talk to yourself about? His typical answer was "I forget". "But why would you talk to yourself honey?" I asked. He replied, " It's only about stuff." :confused:

 

I didn't eat the dog biscuts even though they smelled really good (banana and peanut butter):001_smile:

 

I think I got a plan at least.

[Pongo]

Thanks you ALL so much for your replies. After talking to dd I think this might work.

 

She will do it first thing in the morning

I will set the timer for 40 minutes

I will spend the first 10-15 minutes teaching the concept (if needed)

She has agreed to work dilligently and stay on taks , until the timer goes off

 

We start Monday. Thanks Ladies!

[Ravin]

My first thought was that the rest of the family should have to miss out and be inconvenienced because she's being slow. I'd go on the outing on time, and have her finish in the evening, on the weekend, etc.

[Peela]

Thanks you ALL so much for your replies. After talking to dd I think this might work.

 

She will do it first thing in the morning

I will set the timer for 40 minutes

I will spend the first 10-15 minutes teaching the concept (if needed)

She has agreed to work dilligently and stay on taks , until the timer goes off

 

We start Monday. Thanks Ladies!

 

Truly, maths can take a long time. my dd14 can spend her whole maths hour on one problem. My ds12 can spend his maths hour on half a page, when one page would be reasonable. My dd is doing hard maths. My ds is just not very quick at grasping each concept and takes a while to work out what is being asked of him.

At the beginning of the year, I said one lesson a day. That wodl get us through the book in a year, nice and clean! Once they started taking 2 hours, I realised this wasn't going to work, so I now have them do maths for 1 hour. And for my son who is slow at calculations, he only does half the questions, and if he gets them mostly correct, he can move on. Otherwise it would take us 2 years to get through each year, which isnt really satisfactory either. And if dd get stuck on a difficult question she is to spend a reasonable amount of time on it, then she is to mark it and move on- we will ask for help from a friend for those doozies.

[Pongo]

Truly, maths can take a long time. my dd14 can spend her whole maths hour on one problem. My ds12 can spend his maths hour on half a page, when one page would be reasonable. My dd is doing hard maths. My ds is just not very quick at grasping each concept and takes a while to work out what is being asked of him.

At the beginning of the year, I said one lesson a day. That wodl get us through the book in a year, nice and clean! Once they started taking 2 hours, I realised this wasn't going to work, so I now have them do maths for 1 hour. And for my son who is slow at calculations, he only does half the questions, and if he gets them mostly correct, he can move on. Otherwise it would take us 2 years to get through each year, which isnt really satisfactory either. And if dd get stuck on a difficult question she is to spend a reasonable amount of time on it, then she is to mark it and move on- we will ask for help from a friend for those doozies.

 

 

Peela,

May I ask, do you schedule your lessons out? I had a colorful spreadsheet made out. It seem that I am really uncertian of where she will be in the 10 week plan. I was going to try to guess where we would be, then I thought I may just leave them blank and fill it in because I am not sure if this is a "bump" for her or what.

[Peela]

Peela,

May I ask, do you schedule your lessons out? I had a colorful spreadsheet made out. It seem that I am really uncertain of where she will be in the 10 week plan. I was going to try to guess where we would be, then I thought I may just leave them blank and fill it in because I am not sure if this is a "bump" for her or what.

 

No, I can't schedule it out. They work solidly for an hour, then we move on. What i am finding as they get older, is that it is really unpredictable how long each lesson will take. My dd14 was sometimes taking days to get through one lesson, and then another might take her half an hour. Same for my son, except his never take days.

I find the time method works better for us, as I want to get through each day efficiently, we have together work to do, and I want to finish my teaching time soon after lunch. My kids are not maths geniuses and are not likely to go into maths based careers, and I feel an hour a day is enough to spend on maths.