ODD maybe...

[fairfarmhand]

nm

Edited September 21, 2016 by fairfarmhand

[Loowit]

When I was having problems with my DS I got a referral to a therapist.  The first one I saw was bad, really bad.  She pretty much told me that it was my parenting and that he isn't out of control he is just manipulating me.  She also hinted strongly that a good spanking would work well.  I ran far away from her.  It really turned me off of counseling and I tried to do research on my own and work with him at home.

 

It took an incident at summer camp last year for me to talk again to his pediatrician and get another referral, this time to a psychiatrist.  While we were on the waiting list to see her we started play therapy.  He has been seeing a therapist twice a month for about a year now.  It has been a long road, but well worth it.  She is wonderful and sees it as a team effort with the whole family. She helped us to come up with ways to help him that worked for us.  She didn't have a one size fits all approach which I loved.  She is also very supportive of homeschooling.  The psychiatrist was not as helpful, but necessary for a diagnosis which we needed for insurance.  She diagnosed him as having anger something or other (can't remember the technical name), ADHD, and ODD.  She then asked what we wanted to do 1- continue therapy or 2- therapy and meds.  I opted to just go with therapy knowing that at some point we might try medication.  Even up until a few month ago I was thinking he may need medication, but the last few months we have seen a significant improvement.  We will continue to go to therapy for at least another year.  For us finding the right person was key to helping DS.  If the first person you meet doesn't seem like a good fit, try someone else.

 

I do not know the medical causes for DS's condition.  I know that it bothers my DH a lot that I can't say for sure what the cause is, let alone that there is a definite cure.  Mental health still has a lot of unknowns.  I know a lot of people think ADHD and other behavior disorders are over-diagnosed.  They may be right, but frankly I don't care.  I just needed to get my DS help because he was becoming destructive to himself and our family.  Mental illness does run in my side of the family so I am sure that is a contributing factor.

 

A book I found helpful was "The Explosive Child".

[Joanne]

ODD is a very serious diagnosis. Very serious. I believe it is over diagnosed by professionals and by parents.

 

Please pursue everything, and I mean everything, else first: sensory issues,environmental/food allergy, other organic causes.

[fairfarmhand]

ODD is a very serious diagnosis. Very serious. I believe it is over diagnosed by professionals and by parents.

 

Please pursue everything, and I mean everything, else first: sensory issues,environmental/food allergy, other organic causes.

 

okay. Sure.

 

I am worried about being misdiagnosed.

 

So...where do I start with the other stuff?

[fairfarmhand]

ODD is a very serious diagnosis. Very serious. I believe it is over diagnosed by professionals and by parents.

 

Please pursue everything, and I mean everything, else first: sensory issues,environmental/food allergy, other organic causes.

nm

Edited September 21, 2016 by fairfarmhand

[Ottakee]

Have you looked up mood disorders?  They often go with ---or are the cause of ODD behavior.  I hear that so often of kids with bipolar----walking on eggshells, irritable, etc.  Kids don't show depression or mania like adults do.  Good book---The Bipolar Child or check out www.bpkids.org or www.bipolarchild.com

 

ODD is a serious thing but very often there is something else going on that is causing the ODD behavior.  The trick is to figure out what is behind the behavior---mood disorder, ADHD, sensory stuff, autism spectrum, etc.

[LostSurprise]

A behavioral psychologist may be more helpful than a therapist if you have behaviors you want to change. 

 

I agree that ODD is easy to misdiagnosis, especially because so many brain conditions/mood disorders can mimic the symptoms. Its important to find the underlying problems, not just put a label on the child. 

 

My son has many of the signs as well. His BP does not really believe in diagnosing ODD, especially in children, because its rarely helpful and can be self-fulfilling. He recommended we read The Explosive Child by Ross Greene to help us figure out ways to deal with behaviors and we work on things in our sessions. 

[TravelingChris]

My dd sounded like your dd.  SHe is not ODD, she was depressed and the anti-depression, anit- anxiety and adhd medication made her so much easier to live with.  Irritability is often a depression sign especially in children and teens.

[TravelingChris]

My dd sounded like your dd.  SHe is not ODD, she was depressed and the anti-depression, anit- anxiety and adhd medication made her so much easier to live with.  Irritability is often a depression sign especially in children and teens.

[Snow]

Does she argue with other adults and authority figures? Or is it just family? I think this is a key difference for ODD.

 

If its just you guys, I would imagine its more like depression instead of odd. I'm sorry you're having troubles. Some kids really are just tougher than others.

[MomatHWTK]

I have probably said this on other threads, but sometimes getting an evaluation can give you coping techniques and answers even if there is no official diagnosis.  If you develop a relationship with a therapist and your child, then that therapist can give you an outside perspective.  I have been known to ask my child's therapist point blank- do other kids do X?  The therapist sees a lot more kids in a day than I do so she can actually give me some insight into "normal" kid behavior that I wouldn't have otherwise. 

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

The thing that bothers me is that my dh and I are just SO overwhelmed with her behavior. Argues about EVERYTHING. Very intense, very moody, It seems like she just doesn't have it in her to just say. "Okay mom." Or "Whoops. Sorry about that. I won't do it again." She seems to feel that rules are for other people. This worries me because now that she's driving, she sees things like speed limits as "suggestions that might be a good idea." Everything...any consequence, any punishment is someone else's fault. She gets in trouble, not for arguing or disobeying, but because mom or dad were in a bad mood. Or because someone else did something that made her do it. She is QUITE irritable, insisting that people do things that annoy her on purpose. I've tried to explain to her that the person tapping a pen in the other end of the house is not even thinking about her. The smallest comment or request can turn into a huge emotional ordeal.

 

She is deep down a good kid. She doesn't sneak out with boys, consider drugs, running away or smoking. She doesn't have the desire to do any of that really awful stuff. But she is SO hard to live with. I often feel that I am walking on eggshells just trying to get through the day without a tantrum or argument. She takes so much out of my dh and I. We just don't know what else to do with her. She's beginning to affect everyone else in the house.

 

I seriously don't believe that sending her to school is the answer. (totally have considered it) because she "uses up her niceness" when she's out of the house. Then the rest of us get nothing but negative leftovers. At least with homeschooling, we do get some decent hours in the house. I believe if she was in school, she'd be even worse, because more of our interactions would be negative.

 

A lot of that sounds like it is still in the realm of normal for a teen. But again, it cannot hurt to get a basic evaluation and/or find her a counselor she can talk things through with and get outside input.  Having a family member diagnosed with ODD, this doesn't sound like that. But I am not a professional in this area.

 

[Ottakee]

The more you say, the more I wonder about a mood disorder instead of just ODD.  The irritability, walking on eggshells, over reaction to simple things, etc. are so classic early onset bipolar.  I do think that an eval with a top notch pediatric psychiatrist might be in order.

 

With mood disorders, etc. it isn't just the behavior (aka ALL teens do x, y and z) but rather the intensity of the behavior, the frequency of it, etc.  A typical kid might react for 5 minutes, these kids react for 30 or more.

[Geo]

Have you looked up mood disorders?  They often go with ---or are the cause of ODD behavior.  I hear that so often of kids with bipolar----walking on eggshells, irritable, etc.  Kids don't show depression or mania like adults do.  Good book---The Bipolar Child or check out www.bpkids.org or www.bipolarchild.com

 

ODD is a serious thing but very often there is something else going on that is causing the ODD behavior.  The trick is to figure out what is behind the behavior---mood disorder, ADHD, sensory stuff, autism spectrum, etc.

 

Couldn't agree more. Things like ADHD often look totally different in girls and can be overlooked. I suggest you cross-post over at the Special Needs board, lots of super-experienced advice there.

 

Btw, ODD isn't organic in and of itself. It's a sort of "cycle" someone gets into when entrenched in

a battle for control (because they feel out of control).  The best answer I have had for that is to come alongside the child as a collaborative problem solver...REMOVE THE BATTLE FOR CONTROL...yourself included. Read Ross Greene's, The Explosive Child, for support and ideas on collaborative problem solving. Intervention is extremely important, as ODD can progress into Conduct Disorder, which is devastating...the majority will be imprisoned at some point in their life. Lives are in the balance.