shanvan Posted August 6, 2013 Share Posted August 6, 2013 Thanks for the great advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted August 6, 2013 Share Posted August 6, 2013 Really hard to give advice in this type of situation with the limited info provided. Does the child misbehave for all adults or just his parents? maybe he might have more respect to another adult teaching him? If you are the adult teaching the class than surely you are the one to make the call on classroom disciple. Cannot you treat him just like you would any other disruptive child? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted August 6, 2013 Share Posted August 6, 2013 Unless she asks for advice, I wouldn't give it. However, it is perfectly reasonable to address issues that actually occur with the child who is in your class. Said child may not treat you like he/she treats mom so you'll have to wait & see if an issue occurs for you to address. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanvan Posted August 6, 2013 Author Share Posted August 6, 2013 Unless she asks for advice, I wouldn't give it. However, it is perfectly reasonable to address issues that actually occur with the child who is in your class. Said child may not treat you like he/she treats mom so you'll have to wait & see if an issue occurs for you to address. This is what i am thinking, but I feel badly for both the mom and Dc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted August 6, 2013 Share Posted August 6, 2013 You need to decide on your own terms whether you want to hang out with them. If you don't, and the mom asks "why" I might gently say that things are out of control but otherwise I would not say anything. If she complains about being overwhelmed with family dynamics you might gently suggest family counseling as something that helps many families. Sending her dc to outside classes to get space from each other can be a healthy thing. You should have a general discipline policy for the classes. All teachers should abide by them. If she doesn't, then don't put your kids in her class. If she does, (and some do well with policies for kids other than their own) then it shouldn't be a problem. Ditto for the child in your class. If the child behaves, then great. If not, then follow the policies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted August 6, 2013 Share Posted August 6, 2013 only if asked. Otherwise, when this friend confides or whines, I would ask, "Would you like my take on this or are you just venting?" I might also offer to share books or articles that helped me. If I were in charge of a class in which her special snowflake misbehaved, I would treat them exactly in the same manner that I would treat any other misbehaving child. Likely the child will test you once or twice, but once they figure out that you mean business, they will probably straighten up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted August 6, 2013 Share Posted August 6, 2013 I might consider gently asking if she'd like to talk about parenting and discipline some time, maybe when she turns to you to vent. Or if she vents a complaint, offer a book you've found helpful, or after a vent ask her what she's doing that she feels isn't working and go from there. If at any point she says no thanks or changes the subject, drop it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanvan Posted August 6, 2013 Author Share Posted August 6, 2013 Really hard to give advice in this type of situation with the limited info provided. Does the child misbehave for all adults or just his parents? maybe he might have more respect to another adult teaching him? If you are the adult teaching the class than surely you are the one to make the call on classroom disciple. Cannot you treat him just like you would any other disruptive child? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted August 6, 2013 Share Posted August 6, 2013 I would not offer any advice unless asked. No one likes unsolicited input. As for the classroom-treat all children the same and do not accept misbehavior from anyone. Based on the limited info, if it was me, I would be seriously evaluating if this is a friendship worth maintaining. The old Dear Abby question to relationships applies to friendships "Is my life better with or without this person?" Once you answer that your course of action will become clearer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanvan Posted August 6, 2013 Author Share Posted August 6, 2013 Thanks to all. Each and every response has helped clarify my thinking. Just going to do my best to be tactful, stay out of things and run my class. No unsolicited advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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