Hosting an exchange student?

[Whereneverever]

Has anyone ever done this? Did you like it? Would you do it again?

 

Tell me all about it!

[blessed2fosteradopt]

We hosted an exchange student from Germany last year.  He came in the last week of July 2012 and actually extended his stay and left on the 5th of July this year.  Simply put, it was one of the best experiences of our lives and we correspond with him and his family almost daily. My children, extended family and entire community loved him and were enriched by having him here.  In our small town, we had about 12 students last year and there were ony minor issues with two.  Overall, they were all lovely and a joy but mine broke the mold. 

 

Some advice for a family considering hosting would be the following.  Be sure to lay out what you expect of the student financially from the very beginning.  In my program, the host family is responsible for three meals a day and a bed.  Anything else is supposed to be the responsibility of the student. We went above and beyond that and were okay to do so but for some it is just not feasible.  It seems from our experience that most of the children are under the impression that snacks, toiletries and other tangibles are the responsibility of the host family and this can add up quickly.  Also, with our program if the child buys lunch at school it is supposed to be at their expense.  Most of the students in our town chose to bring their lunch.  Set rules and expectations from the very beginning.  Our child was more that happy to help and do whatever was asked of him. He didn't like being fussed over and preferred to make his own breakfast, do his own laundry, etc.  He made smart choices and was very trustworthy and it made things very easy for us.  Nip any issues in the bud immediately and rely on your coordinators if necessary.  Again, we had no issues whatsoever but know our coordinators were always there for us if needed and we have developed a wonderful relationship with them that continues today.

 

The kids that come to the States are definitely interested in the American experience. For us, this meant lots of sports activities and a change in our normal family schedule.  Our student played football and soccer on the high school team.  We found ourselves at the soccer and football fields a lot but again we knew this coming in and were fine with that.  Also, our student was very popular and never had a problem catching a ride to practice or home from so it didn't always fall on us.  We live in a small town where everyone knows each other so we always had someone that was willing to help out but that may not be the case for you.  That is something to consider especially if you have other children that are involved in outside activities.

 

I am not sure about the program you are considering but our child had to attend public school and follow the same guidelines that were in place for students from the States.  He had to maintain at least a C average or faced being booted from the program.  This was not an issue at all for our student as he was very bright and disciplined as it seems is the case with most.  We had students last year in from Germany, Switzerland, Iceland, Sweden, Montenegro and China. The children from the first four countries fared the best although this may have just been a fluke.  The student from China, a girl, seemed as if her goal was to shop American style and this caused an issue with her host family. This, in our community however, was not the norm. 

 

I will have to say that the hardest part of the whole year for us as a family was saying goodbye.  It was absolutely heartbreaking,  My two seven year olds literally cried hysterically as we watched our student's plane take off.  The weeks leading up to his departure were rough.  It was hard saying goodbye to all the students equally.  We all grew very close.  Although it was a painful time, I would do it again in a heartbeat and will probably again in the future.  We have decided to pass this year but are fortunate to live in a small community where we will have access and the opportunity to mingle with the students coming in this year, a few of who have already arrived. 

 

If you have any specific questions, please feel free to PM me.

 

 

[City Mouse]

When I was a teenager, my family hosted several different times. The first time, our high school had a exchange program with a high school in Germany where one year they sentm students for a month and the next year our school sent students there.

That went so well for us that the following year my mom signed up with one of those exchange stiudent programs.

 

 

When I was a senior, we had a girl from Venezuela stay with us for six months as her first placement did bot work out. The bad part for her was that we lived in a area of the country where there were lots of Spanish speaking people from lots of different countries. Often she was not treated as "special" but the same negitive way many of the local Spanish speaking people were treated. In a with less negative views of Hispanic people whe would have probably had a better experience. We recent reconnected on Facebook.

 

The most difficult placement we had was a young teenager from Australia. If I remember correctly, he was around 13 when the other students had been 16-18. He really just wasn't ready to be away from home that long, and we were only hosting him for the summer when he first got to the US. He went on to a different placement for the school year.

[myfunnybunch]

We host university students who come to the U.S. to study English. Currently, we've got a mother and her teen daughter from Ecuador and a student from Japan. We've hosted high school students in the past for short summer programs.

 

We love it. It has been an amazing experience very single time.

 

I agree that the hardest part is saying goodbye. We've hosted nearly 20 students over the past four years, some for a term, some for a year, and I think I've cried nearly every single time a student has gone home. I am still in touch with most of them through Facebook and Skype.

 

Familiarize yourself with the program expectations. What is the stipend, and what is it intended to pay for? What is the student responsible for financially, academically, personally? What are your responsibilities as a host family? For example, in our program, each student must have his or her own room with a bed and a desk with a light. We provide towels and bedding. We provide breakfast, dinner, snacks; we provide lunches only on the weekends. Students help with meal cleanup, do their own laundry, and clean their own room and their own bathroom (since my daughter moved to her dad's she no longer shares the bathroom), but we cannot require that they do household chores like doing family laundry or mowing the lawn.

 

Be willing to try new foods. One of the most rewarding and interesting experiences we've had has been learning to cook and eat different foods. Often our students will cook for us, and we try to learn to make food from their country for them. We got to try Ecuadorean food last week--yummy!

 

Be prepared for an adjustment period. It takes time for them to learn the family culture and routines, and it also takes time for host families to get used to having a person around who's kind of family, kind of guest. My friend who also hosts and I have discussed a few times the feeling of being "on"  when our students are around. It is different having another person around the house--we don't run around in our undies any more. ;) But we also  cook a little more adventurously and sightsee a little more than we might otherwise, and we tend to mind our manners with one another a little more.

 

It's a great opportunity to look at other cultures and our own. We've had fascinating discussions about families, dating, independence in children, technology, personal space, and more....

 

Have fun! If you have any specific questions, please ask. :)

Cat

[kroe1]

I would not do it again for a million dollars!  The experience totally ruined our entire summer.  The girl was from China.  She refused to do anything with our family.  She was too young to stay home by herself (age 12), yet too old to spank, and too old to yell at.  She could not speak enough English to understand reason.  Our family basically stayed indoors one entire summer while the princess stayed locked in her room.  It was awful!

 

 

[Matryoshka]

We had an exchange student from Germany my senior year of high school, and then I went and lived with her family the year after I graduated (before college), so we were together for two years.  That was a wonderful experience.

 

Last year, we hosted a Spanish student for a month.  She was a lovely girl, and we had a great time with her.  She actually spoke Basque as her first language.

 

In just a few short weeks, we'll be hosting a girl from Germany for the whole year.  We've been corresponding already for months, and she seems like a very nice girl.  I'm really looking forward to having her!

[AK_Mom4]

We have twice hosted exchange students on four week programs for Germany. It was a good experience but it was a bit tricky fitting them into our busy schedule. My teens were in before-school bands and after-school sports, so had long days at school and then plenty of homework. I would do it again, though.

[blessed2fosteradopt]

Unfortunately, it seems that sometimes Chinese students are sent to America for an exchange against their will.  I have been told that often it is the parents that desire this for their child.  They believe it will help them mature and become self sufficient.  I have heard more than once about problems with students from China ranging from severe homesickness to outright refusal to do certain things and everything in between.  I am sure this is not the case all the time.  I would not, under any circumstances, host a student for a year that sought out to make a miserable situation for my entire family.  I made this clear up front to my coordinators and would've terminated the placement if that were the case. 

[Garga]

We just had 2 Chinese exchange students stay with us for 2 weeks. I don't know how it would have been if they'd stayed longer, but it was one of the best experiences of our lives.

 

They were two boys aged 13 and they were amazingly helpful and kind and wanted to spend tons of time with us. We learned from them and they learned from us.

[myfunnybunch]

Unfortunately, it seems that sometimes Chinese students are sent to America for an exchange against their will.  I have been told that often it is the parents that desire this for their child.  They believe it will help them mature and become self sufficient.

 

All of our Chinese high school students were absolutely lovely. We started hosting 6 years ago with 2-3 week summer programs from China, and it was a wonderful experience. However, two years ago, we had a Chinese university student who walked into her room and burst into tears. She said that she hadn't wanted to come, and that her parents made her. She was very sweet and really made an effort, showing us pictures of her hometown and making us a Chinese meal, but she spent a lot of time in her room crying on the phone. Five days later she returned home.

 

Our other Chinese university student got her own apartment after a term (pretty normal--often they want to connect with a family while they get used to being here), but she visits regularly and calls often for advice. She's wonderful, and we really love her. Which reminds me, I need to email her! She's in China for the summer.

 

Cat