Need to vent: Private School hoop jumping

[PrincessMommy]

:cursing:   In the big scheme of things my dd's high school is very good.  But their director of college admissions is annoying in the extreme!!  Dd is 5th out of 6 kids, so we've already gotten 4 kids successfully into college (two are now in Ph.D programs).  Why does she insist on all the "mandatory" college prep meetings?  Mandatory??? really?  I understand that they'd want to offer these meetings, but to make them mandatory!!?  I've already sat through one boring meeting about applying for financial aid years ago (which we can't do since dh makes too much money), I'm sure I don't need that information again.  Okay, I've typed out some stuff and erased, if I say more I'll just offend someone here. 

 

Anyway, thanks for letting me vent my frustration.

[Twigs]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

What are the consequences of just not showing up?

[Cinder]

:grouphug:  I feel your pain. Ds1 graduated from private school and sometimes the mandatory meetings were annoying. Ds2 is still there and next week I have to go to a 2-hour meeting for all parents whose dc are in K through Alg 2 so we can learn about the new math standards and how to help our dc. :glare:  Granted it's a University Model School so elementary parents will actually be doing a lot of teaching at home. But you don't get excused just because you can already teach algebra.

[PrincessMommy]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

What are the consequences of just not showing up?

 

I don't think there's much except guilt directed toward my daughter.  Perhaps they'd give her a bad recommendations, but I seriously doubt it because it would reflect badly on the school (hence all these meetings).  They want to be able to say to prospective parents that they've gotten X amount of kids into the school of their choice.    It's all for their sales pitch. 

 

We actually didn't go to the first college planning meeting (it was a group meeting) because I complained pretty loudly, but my daughter hates that.  I feel bad, I don't want her to feel guilty.  She loves her school but knows I get extremely annoyed with these arbitrary rules/laws that her school puts in place. 

[Halftime Hope]

Can you call the person directly and find out if they *need* you to be there?  Point out that they can focus on their interactions with newbies and Go Home more quickly than if you were there, too.  if they say you have to be there, then I'd come and sit there with my ipad or my knitting and a pen and paper handy for anything that was new.

[Farrar]

I would just call them and say, "I don't think much has changed in the last couple of years and this is go around number five for us with college, so we'd really like to skip this."  One of the benefits of private schools *should* be that while they have policies, they can be more flexible about them because they're a smaller organization with more autonomy resting in the head office.

[Dandelion]

I would contact them like farrarwilliams suggested.  But if they aren't receptive to that, I wouldn't push it further.  As you said, it makes your daughter feel bad.  

 

Assuming these are larger meetings with multiple parents present, you can probably discreetly multi-task.  Download a good book onto your phone or other device if you have one.  Or (my personal favorite) take a notepad along and use the time to journal, write your To Do list for the next month, etc.  Everyone will think you're diligently taking notes on what is being presented.  ;)

 

I get what you're saying though.  That kind of bureaucracy and lack of flexibility/common sense drives me nuts.  :grouphug:

[Seasider]

Does your dd go with you? Because for her it IS a first time thing, kwim? I'd go along and be bored for her sake, if she wants to attend.

 

If not, I'd call and have a chat with this counselor. Let her know you see the great value in what she's offering, but that you will not be coming and for her to please direct any concerns about it to you directly, not via your dd.

[Samiam]

I'd just not go.  As I've told my DS, when his different coaches call this or that "mandatory".   WE decide what is mandatory for our family....coaches/teachers/schools do not dictate our lives to that extent that they get to tell us what is mandatory.  They can tell us the ramifications of not attending...and we'll decide for ourselves what choice we want to make.

[PrincessMommy]

Thanks everyone for your suggestions.  The current meeting seems mandatory - mainly because there's some online password I need to get (don't get me going about carrots/sticks).... but this particular meeting is just us and the college counselor.  It's discussing dd's & our thoughts/hopes for college/majors.   But, getting to the meeting is a bother... questionnaires to fill out! One week in advance or the meeting *must* be rescheduled (which we already had to do).  ugh.  Some of the questions are just silly ("Is your child intentional?" :confused1:  I didn't answer it).   If the college counselor had 100+ students I guess I could see some of these questions, but there's about 30 in her grad. class. 

 

I really like the idea of explaining to my dd that we decide what is mandatory for our family and what isn't. 

[JFSinIL]

My thoughts is to consider that the person making the meeting mandatory may need parents to fill the room to justify him/her having the meeting and possibly getting overtime for it.