Who do you think is responsible here?

[Truscifi]

Since I don't have time to argue about whether she is or is not angry, and that is almost certainly what would happen, I am going to decline to answer that question. It is not relevant anyway. I offered it as an interesting element of my update (it is interesting to me anyway, as it is a development I would not have expected) and do not particularly want opinions on whether to approach the other mom or not. She is free to wallow in her own delusions; I'm not wading into the pigpen with her. She will get over it or not. If she doesn't, her loss, 'cause I am an awesome friend. ;)

 

 

Okie dokie then.

[Mom0012]

OP here again. I had no idea there were so many strong opinions on such topics. Certainly I should have, of course--I did not just fall off of the WTM truck.

 

A small update, and I may have posted this already, but, first, no one has called. I, too, wondered about the statute of limitations on a note. But still, no call yet. Second, it has become clear that the other mom is mad at me! This boggles, and the only explanation I can think of is that the girl misrepresented my reaction. There was another kid in the car, and his mom asked if I had been angry at the girl, and he said no. I certainly did not say anything untoward to her. Anyway, it may not be me who breaks up the carpool over this. Go figure!

 

Good grief! The mom is mad at you?! It does boggle the mind. But, perhaps you are right and the girl misjudged your reaction. Teens can be very sensitive and if she felt you were upset, she may have translated that as anger toward her.

[bettyandbob]

Here's my take

 

I never once saw that OP and the other mom were friends. They know eachother because of common activities of their dc. OP might be friends with the other carpool mom.

 

1 girl broke mirror and did not acknowledge it.

2 OP said something to her that was probably interpreted as stern by the girl.

3 girl told her mom, I speculate probably as a preemptive strike because she thought OP would tell on her.

4 I think OP heard from the other carpool mom that girl's mother said something that led OP (and maybe other carpool mom) took to mean girl's mom is mad that girl has been wrongly/unjustly accused and was treated badly. I got the impression OP is friends with other carpool mom because other carpool mom asked her own son if OP was mad at girl.

5 I think OP doesn't want to discuss the incident with girl's mom because it appears girl's mom has made a judgement about the situation. OP may have further details about girl and girl's mom she has not shared that may include past behavior of girl's mom coming to girl's defense and laying fault with anyone else, but girl.I Suspect that is where OP is coming from when she says she won't "wade in with girl's mom." I know there are parents I would approach to air things out and parents I would just totally avoid having a discussion with. OP may have misinterpreted info she was getting about the girl's mom, but we all have situations where we just have to make a judgement about what is worth our time and what is not and the OP is the only person who has enough info to make that judgement.

 

 

OP, if this happened to me. I would have spoken to the parent the day the incident occurred simply giving the facts. I would not expect reimbursement, but would accept reimbursement if offered. I would make a point of stating at the beginning of each ride with the carpool that you expect the kids to pay attention to other vehicles. And I guess, from the future on, if I were to associated with new carpools I would make this a discussion before the carpool started.

[plansrme]

 

 

Wow. According to the original post and what many have taken up, is that the 14 year old girl did not react appriopriately in OP's eyes. According to the other side of hearsay, the 14 year old has told her mother that OP over-reacted or was mean, or said something harsh to 14 year old. So she say/she say. These were people that I assume OP knew on some sort of personal level, because she choose to carpool, meaning she took their kids, they took her kids. AND this is how you are dealing with it? Wallow in her own delusions? Wading in the pigpen??? Were you friends before this? Because that's not friendship talk, and something this minor, which OP hasn't even actually discussed with the mother is going to dissolve the relationship? Without even a conversation person to person? Just wow. Probably better to dissolve the carpool....doesn't sound like a good situation for ANYONE. And awesome friend would have talked to the mother IF it was a big enough deal that you thought twice about the money situation..which you obviously have by posting in here...you've been dwelling on it....posted it here, you've already gotten in the pigpen, accused the mother of being delusional because she's believing her daughter, btw, the only side she's heard. If you are not going to discuss it with the mother personally, drop it and move on with life. Otherwise be a good friend, address the situation with the friend.

 

 

That is an impressive level of passion/vitriol for people you do not and will never know. It also is an astounding number of incorrect assumptions.

[Rebecca VA]

Does anyone wonder if the girl's mother is on these boards, reading this thread and posting on it? Some of the posters have taken this situation very personally.

[Lawana]

It never ceases to amaze me how some threads take on a life all their own. And other threads just wither and fade before they even bloom.