Daisy Posted February 5, 2008 Share Posted February 5, 2008 My 6yo son's Awana teacher died. She was an older lady and she was sick last Wednesday night. We just found out she died. Dh doesn't want to tell DS but I'm think he kinda needs to know. She was his team leader and I cannot imagine that no one is going to mention it Wednesday night. I think he needs to be gently prepared. Help? :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 5, 2008 Share Posted February 5, 2008 You know, sometimes kids are a lot more matter-of-fact about things like that than we are. I'd tell him that she went to be with the Lord. He may cry and of course that is ok. But I know when I explained the death of someone at church to my ds at that age, he just turned to me and said, "She's in heaven, right." I said yes. That was it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted February 5, 2008 Author Share Posted February 5, 2008 You are probably right, Jean. Dh and I are upset. Dh worked with her every Wednesday night and she was the kindest lady. It was just so sudden. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyinTN Posted February 5, 2008 Share Posted February 5, 2008 Praying for peace for you guys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiva- SouthernGirlMusings Posted February 5, 2008 Share Posted February 5, 2008 You should share the news and be there for your son. It will be mentioned and at least he has had a chance to work through his feelings before being surrounded by all of his classmates. Praying for your family and those impacted...blessings! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Katherine Posted February 5, 2008 Share Posted February 5, 2008 There is no way he won't find out. It's far better that he hear it from you and have you to help him work through his emotions about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LG Gone Wild Posted February 5, 2008 Share Posted February 5, 2008 We recently went through something similar. I am a firm believer about not shielding children from the truth about life. Besides, you can't really keep this thing a secret. When a friend of ours died, I simply told dd5 and ds8 that so-and-so died without any preparation or anything. I just said that I had some sad news and told them. I answered any questions they had. Then we went to the viewing and reception. Oddly enough, the kids had a great time (which is what the lady wanted at her funeral "party"). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted February 5, 2008 Share Posted February 5, 2008 Ditto the above advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cin Posted February 5, 2008 Share Posted February 5, 2008 Kids have such a wonderful, factual innocence. I agree that he should be told, and let him know that she is in Heaven with Jesus. THAT will probably give him all the peace he needs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted February 5, 2008 Author Share Posted February 5, 2008 We talked this morning about it. He handled it better than my 8yo did. I talked to my DH and told him that we really needed to talk to DS TODAY!! DS's birthday is tomorrow and I didn't want him finding out about the death of his teacher on his birthday in front of 20 other little kids. DS was upset this morning but you were all right. He recovered quickly and we had a nice talk about where we go when we die. He knows that his teacher is up in heaven with mine and DH's grandparents. I think that helped him a little bit. Thanks everyone for the great advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nancypants Posted February 5, 2008 Share Posted February 5, 2008 I'm so sorry to hear this. :( You should definitely tell him. Children must face death at some time... it is part of life after all. In my opinion it eases them into the concept of death when they first encounter it with someone that they care about but not someone as close as a family member... My sunday school teacher (a 40 year old man and father of three) died of a heart attack when I was just a bit older than your son. It was the first time I really had to deal with the concept on a personal level. My parents let me get out of school to go to his funeral even though he and his wife had only been my teachers for a short time. I'm sure his teacher is leaving a sweet legacy behind her... don't pass up this opportunity to speak to your son about the importance of how she lived her life, where she is now and to begin to help him process this difficult concept. Editing to say, I'm sorry... I just read your last response... Didn't realize you had already decided to talk to him! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King's Kid Posted February 5, 2008 Share Posted February 5, 2008 This happened at our Awana a few years ago except that it was an elderly man who died. Though it was difficult to tell my dc, they processed it okay. We even attended the viewing. The saddest part was watching his grieving wife who also worked with Awana. It was so devastating for her; they'd been married 60 years! But she's doing well now, and knows that someday she'll seem him again in heaven. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SandraDumas Posted February 5, 2008 Share Posted February 5, 2008 But she was a CHRISTIAN! So I would just start by telling your ds that someone he knows got to see Jesus face to face last night. THat someone he knows met Jesus, got a wonderful physical hug from Jesus, and they are in heaven...make all the details as wonderful and special and exciting as possible, then tell him who it is that got to see Jesus already!! Then explain that some people will be sad, because they will miss her. And that people call this dyeing but she didn't really die. Only her skin and bones died, but she is really with Jesus in heaven, living forever with never a tear, etc. I would be straight up,but start with the happiness and then go to the fact that others will be sad. Hopefully your ds will not be very sad! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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