I need a hair intervention. Help a girl out

[redsquirrel]

I seem to have new hair, and I don't know what to do with it. I am 46 and my middle aged body has decided to create a new kind of hair. I am not amused. At this time of life I am really not happy about having to learn how to deal with new hair. I would be very grateful if some of you could help me out with some pointers.

 

Old hair: very thick, but fine. It was slippery and very, very straight. I used to say that I couldn't imagine using a flat iron because my hair looked flat ironed if I wanted it to or not. And did I mention slippery and thick?

 

New hair: Coarse and frizzy. Yes, it is much thinner, but the new texture and volume is sort of hiding the thinness.

 

It is SO different. It started with a wave at the bottom. Last year my sister asked if I had got a perm, because never before had my hair had a wave or a curl. Well, now it is not really curly or wavy, just sort of bushy. I have to be careful with it because I feel like it breaks more easily. It knots more easily as well.

 

I understand why it is happening. Older hair is coarse and dry. But, what do I do with it? Do I not comb it after a shower and just let it dry? That is what my curly hair friends do. Should I try the occasional flat iron, or will that only make it worse?

 

I need a hair cut. I wear it long with layers. Only now it just sort of looks like a big upside down V on my head. I don't want to spend the next 10 years fighting with it. I would rather learn how to come to some sort of truce. I don't want to cut it short. It doesn't suit me.

 

Any advice from some of you with frizzier hair? I am not the type to walk around not caring what my hair looks like.

[fairfarmhand]

I seem to have the same hair as you.

 

I use Fructis anti frizz shampoo and conditioner (it does make a difference) I also use one of their anti frizz creams on my hair. IT does help a lot.

 

1. I only brush my hair to put it into a pony tail. Otherwise it is a wide toothed comb.

 

2. After I shower, I quickly comb it and gently ponytail it so that the top is straight back. Then I let it dry. By doing this, I get straightness at the top and loose waves on the ends. Next morning, (I shower at night) I finger comb it out.

 

3. Its also helped that I have gotten to where I shampoo only every other day.

 

4. I let my hubby whack off about 3 inches of dry scraggles. It looks so much healthier and it is still long, like 2-3 inches below my shoulder but it looks much healthier.

 

5. I am so careful about getting it trimmed, otherwise I end up looking like an aging hippie.

[Starr]

5. I am so careful about getting it trimmed, otherwise I end up looking like an aging hippie.

 

 

It's easy to start looking like an aging folk singer without a guitar. lol Is the color changing as well? Or is it just dry? I would go in for a good styling and use a good conditioner. I did cut many inches off my hair about your age and worked on a new style. I still don't have it sorted out but it looks better than it used to. Good luck.

[redsquirrel]

Yes, it is the aging hippie thing I am trying to avoid. Although in this town I would fit right in. If it would just have gone full on curly I could have rocked that, no problem. But this is not working with me.

 

The colour has been changing for a while, so I have been dying it for ages. I am a red head and my early 30s it started to just go browner and browner. Well, I couldn't have that, My identity is (sadly) tied up with being a redhead. I do a very nice job, if I do say so myself. I buy products at Sally's and use things like a protein filler etc. It may be changing in texture but I think I have done pretty well at keeping it as healthy as possible. This week I tried a glaze and it seemed to help it feel a bit softer and (maybe) look shinier. Ask me in a couple days if it really worked, lol.

 

Ok, so a trim is a necessity. I need to do that next week. I will also try putting it back in a pony tail when wet. That is helpful.

 

I have been looking like the girl from Brave, only in a crazy way, not a princess-y way.

[fairfarmhand]

 

 

I have been looking like the girl from Brave, only in a crazy way, not a princess-y way.

 

:lol: :lol: :lol:

[mrs.m]

I would find a good stylist to give you a cut that works with your hair.

 

You should also try this product: http://sexyhair.com/products/healthysoy/index.aspx?p=eed3ded9-75ed-4788-895d-603b73babafb It has really helped my frizzy ends!

[Joyofsixreboot]

 

 

I have been looking like the girl from Brave, only in a crazy way, not a princess-y way.

 

 

Let's not besmirch those of us rocking the Brave look. (And I get the redhead identity thing.). I use suave no frizz conditioner ( no shampoo) and then Aussie mousse while it's wet and scrunch it with my hands. This gets me curls vs frizz.

[Freckles]

I'm a natural redhead, and my hair is fading the closer I get to 40. The dye is probably adding to the dryness. Have you had your thyroid checked? A whacked out thyroid will change the quality of your hair. My daughter is a redhead with curly hair down to her waist. It's not a tight curl. She shampoos about 3 times a week, and we condition more frequently. She combs it out with a wide tooth comb or just uses her fingers. If it starts to get frizzy, we also use Loreal's anti frizz serum. Currently she uses Bedhead's moisturizing shampoo and conditioner. I have found I need to splurge on the quality stuff for her hair to stay healthy. Good luck adapting to different hair. I'm still adjusting to being brown headed with red highlights. I still put redhead on my drivers license.

[Ellie]

Find a good stylist who will find what's right for your hair, rather than trying to fight it. You will not win.

[fiberdrunk]

Burdock seed and stinging nettle oil is supposed to be good for the hair. Both are easy to grow and make, if you don't mind noxious weeds (Susan Weed's herbal books will show you how)! Richter's Herbs sells the seeds. You can find hair products online with these herbs, too, if you don't want to bother with growing and making your own.

[texasmama]

Since you have some curl/body/frizz/wave, I recommend the curly girl method of dealing with your hair. It may be the answer you are looking for. It has helped my hair a great deal. :) Also, I had a slight wave in my hair for many years until I started having babies. Four babies later, I am a curly girl.

[redsquirrel]

I have heard of the curly girl method, but I just don't think it is quite curly enough. There is no actual curl, just wave and frizz. I have tried gelling (or whatever) and letting it dry but it just sort of looks messy and unkempt. Back when I had my original hair it wouldn't hold a curl if you threatened it with a weapon.

 

Still... I haven't tried it in a while and maybe it would work now? I can give some of those curl enhancing potions a shot.... couldn't hurt. My sister uses them and gets amazing results.

 

I asked my sister for the name of her stylist. My sister is the type to have a stylist, lol. She said her person is good enough and does well if you show her a picture. Coming from my sister that could mean the stylist is a genius... or not. I will ask another person, the most glamorous person I know. She lives in town but works as an actress/singer in NYC and she always looks amazing. I know for a fact she gets her hair done in town.

[Negin]

New hair: Coarse and frizzy. Yes, it is much thinner, but the new texture and volume is sort of hiding the thinness.

Redsquirrel, you've helped me so much in the past and have given me so many fabulous tips. I hope you can get this sorted out. I suffer from coarse, frizzy hair and it's getting worse the older I get. I'm 45.

I posted about this a while back and someone recommended Pureology Shampoo and Moroccan Oil. I love them both. I wash my hair once and sometimes twice a week. That's it. No more daily shampoos which only exacerbates the frizz. I use a flat iron for special occasions. I sometimes have a Keratin treatment done at the salon and/or alternate with having my hair relaxed. I tried the Curly Girl approach several years ago. It was awful for me.

Here's the post about Pureology and Moroccan Oil:

 

Pureology is expensive compared to the grocery store shampoos and conditioners, but, it works whereas the others don't. It will also last longer because it's super thick, you don't have to use as much.

I buy a new shampoo/conditioner every 4-5 months. If I use the grocery store brands, it's more often.

Everyone is always asking me what I use on my hair, where I get it cut, but when I tell them, they're appalled by how much I pay. I have tried EVERYTHING (and I mean everything) and Pureology with Moroccan Oil is the only thing that works for my hair. When I can't spend as much (DH absolutely will not let our girls use Pureology until they get a job), I use Biologe by Matrix, but it will very quickly dry out your hair after the first couple of uses because of the sulfates. That's the trick, you have to buy shampoo without sulfates. I would recommend you try the Pureology in the purple bottle (Hydrate). I like the purple shampoo and the green conditioner. Some people like the green REPAIR shampoo, but I don't. It weighs down my hair too much. You might want to buy the travel sizes and experiment with what you'd like. My youngest liked the Super smooth, but I didn't. It didn't get rid of that coarse texture you're talking about.

 

Find a good stylist who will find what's right for your hair, rather than trying to fight it.

:iagree:

I try to visit my hairdresser every 8-12 weeks.

[Mom in High Heels]

That's the hair I've had my whole life!!!!!!!!!! It started going gray when I was around 27/28, but I also grew b00ks at the same time, so I figured it was a fair trade. I can always dye my hair. :laugh: Anyway, I've always had my hair long, and the top was super straight (because the weight pulled it down), but the bottom was crazy frizzy and wavy and dry. I used to flat iron it to death. Last year I got tired of doing that and had it chopped off. BEST DECISION EVER! It's now in a layered bob a few inches above my shoulder. I still have to flat iron it into submission, but it's much easier and quicker. I also start using Pureology shampoo (mentioned above) and it is amazing! I don't like Argon oil on my hair (FAB on the face though), as it made it too greasy looking, even if I just used a little, but with the Pureology shampoo and conditioner, I don't need to. I flatten it and rub a bit of gel in it to keep it down and all is well. BTW, I was born a redhead, but it got darker and darker the older I got. I'm still "lucky" to have some of those thick wiry red hairs peppered throughout my head though. Nice.

[redsquirrel]

I am going to check out pureology. I have had good luck with the Ion line from Sally's (I like the moisturizing shampoo for chemically treated hair), but I know I can get pureology. Although I see that Sally's carries a line "colouresse' that seems to be a pureology knock-off. I might try that first, lol. I have been suspicious of Moroccan oil. I see that most of them are just silicone hair things with a dash of morrocan oil. I don't mind the silicon, but don't want to pay lots for the added drop of morrocan oil. Is there a specific brand to look for?

 

I have been having good luck with coconut oil. I used a very, very small amount, like the size of a grain of rice. I had my hair in a braid and I put some oil on the ends and at the end of the braid and noticed that my hair has been much better behaved since then. I have less of a halo effect.

 

My son has a ballet performance this weekend so all is in disarray (nighttime blocking and tech rehearsals etc) but next weekend I am going to get myself a haircut. And I NEED to go more often. I have always been able to get away with the occasional cut here and there because I used to always were it in a french braid or in a bun etc. But, I really need to deal with it more often.

 

And yes! It is straight on top due to the weight and floofy on the bottom! That is the problem. Above my shoulders, huh? I have always had it around between the bottom of my shoulder blades and the bottom of my bra strap. Maybe I will try just below my shoulders just to see what happens. I have sort of got used to my big pile of hair. I think I would miss it if I cut too much off at once.

[Hockey Mom]

I'm a natural redhead going lighter as I age. I get that identity thing. :)

 

Have you tried a temporary keratin treatment? I prefer the temporary treatments to the "permanent" keratin treatments because they seem to work better. The permanent keratin treatment makes my hair feel like straw the first week. I guess the treatment bonds to the hair follicles, and creates a barrier of some sort? Regardless, I don't like the permanent treatment. Others might feel differently. The temporary treatment washes out over 6-8 weeks. AND, if you get the treatment after you apply color, it seals the color in better.

 

I also use the following:

 

Shampoo: Coppola Keratin Complex Color Care (you can find this at Target too)

Conditioner: Coppola Keratin Deep Conditioner

Hair Lotion: Coppola Keratin Complex "Infusion"

 

Wash hair no more than every other day if you can help it. I've had two different stylists, from two different cities rave on and on about the health of my hair since I started using that product.

 

I wear mine in long layers, but as of two days ago, I had BANGS put in. Not sure how I feel about those yet. LOL

[redsquirrel]

I didn't know about temporary keratin treatments. I thought there was only the permanent kind. I would love to get one in the salon, but that is not going to happen any time soon. I am so going to check that out!

 

I got bangs last year and went back and forth on them. I like them, I hate them, I like them, I hate them. Now they are grown out and sort of swept to the side. I think I like that better than a traditional fringe. My hair had gotten a bit thin in that area and I don't think a regular fringe looks that good anymore. I am prob. the only one who notices, but I notice. OTOH, a really good stylist could convince me to try again...

 

Ahh... the joys of getting older.

[Mom in High Heels]

I am going to check out pureology. I have had good luck with the Ion line from Sally's (I like the moisturizing shampoo for chemically treated hair), but I know I can get pureology. Although I see that Sally's carries a line "colouresse' that seems to be a pureology knock-off. I might try that first, lol. I have been suspicious of Moroccan oil. I see that most of them are just silicone hair things with a dash of morrocan oil. I don't mind the silicon, but don't want to pay lots for the added drop of morrocan oil. Is there a specific brand to look for?

 

SNIP

 

And yes! It is straight on top due to the weight and floofy on the bottom! That is the problem. Above my shoulders, huh? I have always had it around between the bottom of my shoulder blades and the bottom of my bra strap. Maybe I will try just below my shoulders just to see what happens. I have sort of got used to my big pile of hair. I think I would miss it if I cut too much off at once.

 

 

I have pure Argan Oil, which is pricey. Like I said though, I don't like it on my hair. On my face it's fab and the bottle lasts forever. The pure oil might work for you. I've never tried coconut oil, because I'm wildly allergic to coconut and get contact hives. Yikes. I don't put anything in my hair, until after I've flat ironed it, and then I just rub some gel through it to keep it "contained."

 

Urgh, the weight! I swear I lost 10 lbs when she cut it off. She cut 16 inches off! I was a nervous wreck, but after the first few snips I was fine. I love it. It suits me and is easy to take care of. The only down side is that I must flat iron the underneath after I wash it, or it's just crazy. When I had long hair, I could just wrap it up and clip it and no one knew, but now I have to DO something. Of course the hort hair takes less than 10 minutes, as opposed to 45 minutes, so it's not that big of a deal.