What was the hardest part about relocating to a new state?

[MommaOfalotta]

If you have ever relocated to a new state, what was the hardest part?

 

Was it the move itself? Getting situated and settled in a new unfamiliar place? Finding friends? Not having any family/trusted babysitters to keep the kids? Missing friends/family?

[Xuzi]

The move itself. Packing up the house. Loading the truck. Driving the truck. Unpacking the truck. Unpacking the boxes in the new house. Big, huge, giant headache.

 

Second to that was getting everything switched over: new drivers licences, internet/phone service, car registration, making sure our magazine subscriptions had our new address, etc.

 

But the actual, physical move was the most stress-inducing.

 

ETA: we were lucky in that we had a built-in church community as soon as we arrived. We're LDS, so we just called the Bishop of our old ward (congregation) and our soon-to-be-new-ward, and we had an instant-crew of movers and unloaders at both ends of our move, and our first Sunday in our new home we had a place to go to meet new people and start making connections.

[freesia]

I dislike the unsettled "new place" feeling. It is exhausting for me to put down roots, make new friends, find out where the free/low cost activities are, etc.

[Guest]

Missing my mom and the way our relationship has basically deteriorated has been the hardest thing about moving out of state. (6.5 yrs ago)

 

At the time, the hardest thing was that I was pregnant with my dd and I didn't really know anyone to leave my son with with when I went to deliver! It all worked out. :)

[wapiti]

For me the hard part was finding new friends, babysitters and doctors, but the hardest was probably finding a new hair stylist :tongue_smilie:

[Elinor Everywhere]

Starting all over with friends has always been the hardest for me.

 

Our two "big" moves (out of state) were easy on the physical aspect - dh's company hired packers and movers so we basically just packed our suitcases, the animals, and left. The movers packed *everything*....even took paintings off walls and unscrewed the play equipment, etc. They put everything back together at the new location. They put our cars into the moving truck, too; we had friends at the old locations take us to a hotel (also paid for) and then the company flew us to our new location, where the moving truck driver met us at the airport and off-loaded one of our cars! I'll never have it so easy again. :tongue_smilie:

 

Our first big move was exhausting in another way, because I had a brand-new baby (first one), animals, a new house, new state, and new job. Lots of newness there! I missed my friends dreadfully. On the bright side, I worked so I immediately had a routine and met new people, which was great.

 

By our last move I was a homeschooling mom, and although the move was once again done for us, it was hard to plug in because I didn't work and homeschool groups don't really do it for me (although I tried quite a few). It took years to find good friends, and these are women who have careers, some have kids and some don't, none homeschool, but we all have things in common (mostly food, drink, travel, sailing).

 

The best advice I have is to prepare, prepare, prepare for your move. Organize all your stuff. Label boxes clearly. At the new location, plug in as soon as you can. Find groups that share your interest and get on out there and start meeting people.

 

Good luck!

[gingersmom]

I am moving in 5 weeks to a new state.

 

The hardest part is coordinating getting the furry children to the new location (cats are being flown, dog is being driven)

 

I am spending a fortune on plane tickets going back and forth.

 

Its all going to be worth it in the end though!

[Guest]

Doctors and dentists, yes. Ugh. They are terrible where we moved. I think I've finally got one for everything and everyone.

[MommaOfalotta]

Thank you for the great responses!

[MommaOfalotta]

If I can add to my question, how long after the move does it feel like *home*?

 

Ive lived in the same town my entire life and we are wanting to move 1000+ miles away. I hate my hometown and have wanted to live in this new area my whole life, but Im just wondering when it starts to feel real? :)

[Guest]

If I can add to my question, how long after the move does it feel like *home*?

 

Ive lived in the same town my entire life and we are wanting to move 1000+ miles away. I hate my hometown and have wanted to live in this new area my whole life, but Im just wondering when it starts to feel real? :)

 

 

You know, I almost added to my last post, because I didn't want to sound too discouraging. I know that we are not "the norm", but we felt at home the first time we drove down the main street in our city. We both grew up in CA and the expensive lifestyle was kiling us. Except for family, we didn't like our jobs, our living situation, the traffic, the state. When our apartment did away with a low income program and doubled our rent, we came out to our new state that weekend, dh found a job, and we rented a house. (3x the size of our aptmt!) We moved and have never looked back. Yes, it's hard. But, oh, how we love it! We just bought our first home and my husband was shredding documents last weekend. He came in with an old check from our rent we were paying 10 years ago - it's as much as our mortgage now. We are so happy that we moved.

 

ETA: You probably want to move to CA, huh? :lol:

[Tap]

For me, it is finding new friends for the kids and knowing which houses are safe to let them play at.

 

Finding a good neighborhood can be hard, if you don't know the area.

 

New doctors, dentists, etc is probably the hardest after the initial move.

[Lisa in SC]

I love moving!! Mostly. The hard things for me are finding doctors and dentists who provide excellent care and whom I actually like, and finding homeschooling activities that seem worthwhile. Our last move was seven years ago, and I'm still working on that last item, so it doesn't always work out for me. It's all good. We just do other activities. The rest is easy. I'm outgoing, so I make friends, and so do the kids. I'm weird, but apparently likeable. :D

 

The moving process is time consuming, but not really stressful for me. I just start in one corner of one room, and work until I'm done. I label each box with number and a color that's linked to that room, and I keep a master list of the contents of each box. I pack one box of first night necessities like sheets, blankets, tp, kitchen essentials, granola bars, and cleaning supplies. Some seating, the mattresses, a table and a few lamps are at the back of the truck along with a toiletry bag and a small duffel for each person with a change of clothes and pajamas so that, even if we're exhausted, we can have some basic comforts pretty quickly upon arrival. I try to make a quick run to the grocery for staple items only. If not, we order pizza. The rest can wait until morning.

 

I'm itching to move again. Dh does not share this love of mine. My children are evenly split. Dd17 will be studying international business when she goes to university next year, and hopes to live somewhere in Europe at some point in the fairly near future. Just the other day ds7 asked if we could move to Texas. He had no reason, other than it sounded like a nice place to try. :)

[MommaOfalotta]

You know, I almost added to my last post, because I didn't want to sound too discouraging. I know that we are not "the norm", but we felt at home the first time we drove down the main street in our city. We both grew up in CA and the expensive lifestyle was kiling us. Except for family, we didn't like our jobs, our living situation, the traffic, the state. When our apartment did away with a low income program and doubled our rent, we came out to our new state that weekend, dh found a job, and we rented a house. (3x the size of our aptmt!) We moved and have never looked back. Yes, it's hard. But, oh, how we love it! We just bought our first home and my husband was shredding documents last weekend. He came in with an old check from our rent we were paying 10 years ago - it's as much as our mortgage now. We are so happy that we moved.

 

ETA: You probably want to move to CA, huh? :lol:

 

 

:laugh:

No offense, but I dont think I would EVER want to move to CA :lol:

[lavender's green]

I've moved states twice, and I think the unsetttled feeling is the worst part. The height of it is right before and after the physical move, when everything is boxed up and WRONG and you can't find anything and it's WRONG (I'm a creature of habit). It continues as you settle in, arrange and re-arrange the kitchen and every closet and all the furniture, and as you figure out the new town, new grocery stores, new parks, new everything. I also find it hard to make friends and find good quality childcare, but the unsettled feeling is what really sets me on edge.

[MommaOfalotta]

I love moving!! Mostly. The hard things for me are finding doctors and dentists who provide excellent care and whom I actually like, and finding homeschooling activities that seem worthwhile. Our last move was seven years ago, and I'm still working on that last item, so it doesn't always work out for me. It's all good. We just do other activities. The rest is easy. I'm outgoing, so I make friends, and so do the kids. I'm weird, but apparently likeable. :D

 

The moving process is time consuming, but not really stressful for me. I just start in one corner of one room, and work until I'm done. I label each box with number and a color that's linked to that room, and I keep a master list of the contents of each box. I pack one box of first night necessities like sheets, blankets, tp, kitchen essentials, granola bars, and cleaning supplies. Some seating, the mattresses, a table and a few lamps are at the back of the truck along with a toiletry bag and a small duffel for each person with a change of clothes and pajamas so that, even if we're exhausted, we can have some basic comforts pretty quickly upon arrival. I try to make a quick run to the grocery for staple items only. If not, we order pizza. The rest can wait until morning.

 

I'm itching to move again. Dh does not share this love of mine. My children are evenly split. Dd17 will be studying international business when she goes to university next year, and hopes to live somewhere in Europe at some point in the fairly near future. Just the other day ds7 asked if we could move to Texas. He had no reason, other than it sounded like a nice place to try. :)

 

 

 

I bet I could learn a lot from you on the whole moving process! ;)

 

Do you mind if I ask, do you move because of a job situation or just because you want to? If its just because you want to, then do you have any advice on finding a job and housing out of state? What does the relocating process look like for you?

 

P.S. I will no doubt be coming back to your post when we are packing/moving. Awesome tips there!

[Renthead Mommy]

Finding a new salon. And back in the days with older cars that didn't use the dealership anymore, finding a mechanic.

[Lisa in SC]

 

 

 

I bet I could learn a lot from you on the whole moving process! ;)

 

Do you mind if I ask, do you move because of a job situation or just because you want to? If its just because you want to, then do you have any advice on finding a job and housing out of state? What does the relocating process look like for you?

 

P.S. I will no doubt be coming back to your post when we are packing/moving. Awesome tips there!

 

We have always moved because of dh's job, thus far. This does not stop me from lobbying to move simply for adventure's sake. ;) Since dh doesn't share this particular sense of adventure, I haven't succeeded to date. Go figure, his retirement dream is to travel the country in an RV.

 

If he ever *did* agree to move simply for the sake of moving, he would likely just accept a position offered him. He's not in a particularly sought after field, but he is very good at what he does, and word travels. People are interested. That sounds icky. Please know I don't mean it that way, but I have ds7 literally terrorizing ds14 with a spray bottle of soap and water and a squeegee, and I don't have the brain capacity to go back and re-word it.

 

In terms of relocating, sometimes we're offered a relocation package, and sometimes we aren't. Even when we are, we don't use professional movers, because moving ourselves means more money in our pocket. We take a weekend (just one) and find a rental home. We always rent for the first year so we can really explore the city and surrounding areas and get a feel for where we really want to live. We do our homework beforehand online and narrow our choices, then look from morning to night all weekend with a realtor. I take copious notes and pictures of each property. Monday morning, we call the realtor with our choice, he or she runs our credit & emails the contract to us and we overnight the deposit and the notarized contract back.

 

Then, when it's time to move, we always use Penske truck rental because even though others seem cheaper, Penske gives more time for the move and doesn't charge mileage. We do one way rental which means we return the truck at our destination. The rest of the move goes pretty much like I outlined in my other post. We never do storage units. The monthly rental adds up, and if I have to store it, I don't really need it.

 

As far as selling an existing home, I do make an exception and get a short term storage unit. I ruthlessly edit and stage our home like nobody's business. I pay attention to curb appeal, too. We price to sell but high enough to allow for a little negotiation. We interview realtors, and I am very picky. I want someone who is motivated to sell my home. I keep our home spotless. It is very, very worth it. It's also completely exhausting. However, it pays off in a very big way. We've never failed to sell a home for a profit, even in a crummy market.

 

I've rambled on, and I don't even know if I've made sense or even been helpful. I hope so. My little squeegee boy hasn't helped my thought process, that's for sure! ;)

[MommaOfalotta]

Thank you, Lisa! Yes, you have helped!

 

I really wish dh could transfer. He can transfer to the state we want, but not anywhere near the area we want. It would sure make these easier!

 

Good luck with your squeegee situation ;)

[elegantlion]

The hardest part was realizing that people didn't want to befriend us simply because we hadn't lived there for generations. True, I had people walk away from me mid-conversation when they realized we were not related to the family of the same name from that area.

 

Also my dh worked in a field that been accepted as professional trade where we had lived. In the other state, it was what people who were not well educated did for a living (a higher majority for sure) and not always with the highest moral or work ethic. It was not respected and the assumptions people made about his profession astounded me. It was very difficult for him, as he was a professional with over 30 years of business.

 

I agonized over this a lot. It affected how ds perceived our time there. To be fair, after a lot of research I realized this was not an area where people were used to people moving in and out. It was not a statewide sentiment, more of a very local atmosphere. Even getting involved in a church didn't help. We're clean decent friendly people who had no set preconceptions about the culture of the area.

 

It took me about 3 years to find good friends who would reciprocate. We have since moved.

 

If we were to move again, I'd research an area with different eyes. I'd see what kind of industries moved people in and out, I'd read the forums at city-data, and I'd rent before buying.

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

If you have ever relocated to a new state, what was the hardest part?

 

Was it the move itself? Getting situated and settled in a new unfamiliar place? Finding friends? Not having any family/trusted babysitters to keep the kids? Missing friends/family?

 

 

Yes. All the above.