Help me with this counseling diagnosis please

[caitlinsmom]

My 10yo dd has always been a puzzle to raise. I don't really know how to describe her accurately. Over the years we have dealt with a handful of issues. In general she has out grown them. The last year or so we have seen a sharp decline in her ability to handle most situations and interactions with family. It has made our home life a very stressed place. Everything is met with a voice at top level, anger and tantrums. I wake up to her yelling at someone every single morning. Anyway after a particularly horrible meltdown last week I called a counselor. I wanted a 3rd party opinion. Bi-polar runs so strong in my family I have been terrified she may have it. Today was her assessment appointment.

 

The verdict?

 

She is intellectually in her mid teens while her coping skills, social skills, emotionally, etc are on target for a 10 year old. He said that absolutely nothing that we told him or she told him has him concerned about bi-polar (thank goodness! Although we will continue to watch as adolescence can mask bi-polar) and that the other issues we mentioned were stemming from not having enough perceived control. He said that most of the issues stem from poor impulse/anger control which were things that could be worked on very easily. He mentioned a bunch more but that is enough for a public forum ;) We will go back next week to discuss more.

 

So first off...

 

has anyone else had this kind of diagnosis?

What in the world do I do with a kid like this?

What does this really mean?

Do kids like this finally come into balance as they reach adult hood?

 

I guess I am feeling kind of confused (a common emotion when dealing with dd).

 

I have been at my wits end for months. I was prepared for something clinical that I could Google and write down a plan of attack. "hey you have teenager living in your 10yo body" really isn't going to bring much up on a search unless it's on National Inquirer site. :)

[Jean in Newcastle]

A child who matches their chronological age emotionally but who is older intellectually is pretty common among Accelerated/ gifted kids. You might want to cross post on the Accelerated learner board.

[BlueTaelon]

I was told my dd was Bipolar by more then 1 Dr, they were WRONG! She has a blood disorder called Pyroluria that strips all the zinc and B6 from her body which causes symptoms like Bipolar. After a year on treatment she shows no signs of Bipolar and what really burns my butt is NONE of our many Dr's had ever head of Pyroluria. I found the info online and paid for testing out of pocket, best $72 I have EVER spent! When I see generations of "Bipolar" I want to scream, "ITS NOT BIPOLAR! ITS PYROLURIA!" Its genetic and totally treatable with simple vitamins, just need to make sure they are high quality and not the dollar store stuff. We spend about $30 mo whereas before it was a couple thousand for drugs the insurance was paying. Before the correct dx they told me she had Bipolar 1/ADHD/ODD and something else I'm forgetting. Its all GONE with proper treatment :hurray:

[Joanne]

That sounds hopeful and manageable.

 

It sounds like she'll need coaching, "do overs", scripts, and anger management.

 

The impulse control will get somewhat better with maturity (time).

[caitlinsmom]

I was told my dd was Bipolar by more then 1 Dr, they were WRONG! She has a blood disorder called Pyroluria that strips all the zinc and B6 from her body which causes symptoms like Bipolar. After a year on treatment she shows no signs of Bipolar and what really burns my butt is NONE of our many Dr's had ever head of Pyroluria. I found the info online and paid for testing out of pocket, best $72 I have EVER spent! When I see generations of "Bipolar" I want to scream, "ITS NOT BIPOLAR! ITS PYROLURIA!" Its genetic and totally treatable with simple vitamins, just need to make sure they are high quality and not the dollar store stuff. We spend about $30 mo whereas before it was a couple thousand for drugs the insurance was paying. Before the correct dx they told me she had Bipolar 1/ADHD/ODD and something else I'm forgetting. Its all GONE with proper treatment :hurray:

 

I will definately keep this in mind if we see those symptoms increase in the future. My dd doesn't meet many of the target symptoms so at this point it isn't a true issue but more my deep fears. I have never hear of this disease. I will have to go to Dr. Google and read more on it. :)

 

For our family it is true bi-polar unfortunately. My brother committed suicide a few years ago because he refused to take medication. My mother has tried multiple times when she has gone off her drugs. My mother also has a handful of other mental issues which doesn't help an already precarious situation. Both my grandfathers have also tried to take thier own lives because the depression was so severe. It isn't pretty. While I do not think that bi-polar (or any other mood/attention disorder) exists to the degree that it is diagnosed, I do know the ones who truly have it suffer greatly as do those who surround them.

[BlueTaelon]

pyroluria+screwed up methalation = high suicide rate. I know I sound crazy but big pharma has a huge interest in keeping people sick. The only ones who get truely healthy again are those that find and treat the root cause which dr's dont even bother to do. We had a pyroluric family member commit suicide about 2 weeks ago because he wouldnt get treatment:( please forgive my spelling, no spell check on the kindle.

[klmama]

Blue Taelon, you're right that pyroluria stinks. Thankfully, proper nutritional treatment helps, as you've seen. So sorry about your relative.

 

Caitlinsmom, I hope this counselor is helpful to her in learning how to manage her emotions better.

[Dory]

It's pretty common for accelerated/gifted kids to struggle this way. It's tough when nothing seems to match up. It's easy to be overwhelmed when there's so much going on upstairs and I simply didn't have the skills yet to work through it on a personal level. Unfortunately the people around me tend to pay for my emotional unbalanced development. I'm watching it in a couple of my own kids. We tend to focus a lot on learning how to work through things and deal with emotions in ways that are healthy.

It gets better.

[Ottakee]

I was told my dd was Bipolar by more then 1 Dr, they were WRONG! She has a blood disorder called Pyroluria that strips all the zinc and B6 from her body which causes symptoms like Bipolar. After a year on treatment she shows no signs of Bipolar and what really burns my butt is NONE of our many Dr's had ever head of Pyroluria. I found the info online and paid for testing out of pocket, best $72 I have EVER spent! When I see generations of "Bipolar" I want to scream, "ITS NOT BIPOLAR! ITS PYROLURIA!" Its genetic and totally treatable with simple vitamins, just need to make sure they are high quality and not the dollar store stuff. We spend about $30 mo whereas before it was a couple thousand for drugs the insurance was paying. Before the correct dx they told me she had Bipolar 1/ADHD/ODD and something else I'm forgetting. Its all GONE with proper treatment :hurray:

 

 

Glad you found out what works but that is not the case in all bipolar cases. My daughter's doctors DID test for pyroluria (and more than once) and that is NOT the issue for her. Wish it was.................

[Pamela H in Texas]

BlueTaelon :) I highly suggest the two "alternatives" threads currently running :)

 

BT, btw, I also have a child who was misdx'd with a number of things. They actually have a new dx for kids like him who seem SO "textbook" at six and then have very little if any issues as an older teen. In fact, *I* had a couple dxes at one point also and it turns out it was JUST my thyroid (Hashimotos). Each time I had issues, my levels were uncontrollable, bouncing all over the place, including TSH shooting up to 92 despite taking medication religiously! Sheesh!

 

I think it is great that you were able to find the issue. Just gotta be careful not to beat people over the head with it as there really *are* people with bipolar or even bipolar symptoms but who need another cure. It is hard when we found a $30 simple solution not to be excited though, huh? :)

[nevergiveup]

Her hormones might be messed up. That could cause a lot of anger issues.

[Tokyomarie]

My oldest daughter, highly gifted, was like that. She was very difficult to raise as a baby and toddler but gradually became easier to manage as she got older. Then WHAM! Once the hormones of puberty started ramping up, she went from being challenging to being nearly unmanageable (at times). At that time, society, and especially Japanese society where we lived, didn't automatically hand out drugs as a first line management for highly difficult behaviors (hard to find a word, because there was no diagnosis), The years from just turning 11yo until around her 13th birthday were especially difficult.

 

If the counseling and parenting tools we have available today were more widely known pre-internet days, I think those years could have been easier for us. As it was, I did my best to try to manage it with good lifestyle habits- nutrition, sleep, routine, etc, and doing my best to stay connected with her at a heart level. If it were happening today, I think I would find a neuropsychologist who has experience with gifted kids who could help us parent her with strategies that respect the asynchronous development.

 

The good news is that she did grow up, and while there were bumps along the way, I'm thankful that there were never any major safety or substance issues. She's a wonderful adult and a great mom now.