hsbeth Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 Wondering if any of you all have had students who have or are planning to become involved with greek life? We have no experience in this area but our oldest is hoping to attend a school where greek life is prevalent and has expressed interest in becoming part of a sorority. I've done some reading over at CC and been totally overwhelmed. Apparently, while most girls who complete the process are successful, it is going to be pretty time consuming. Oldest dd and I are very different. I could see this being a good fit for her, but it's totally foreign to me. I don't have any friends or family members who are former greeks either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mumto2 Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 I went to school on a campus where over 50% of students were greek. I rushed because I wanted to see what the houses/ girls were like and ended up pledging. I totally enjoyed it. The girls did not live in houses on our campus which I am not sure I would have enjoyed--too much togetherness! That being said I had a huge range of social activities availiable which was great. I am still close to several of my "sisters". At times they made my life at college so much easier. If your daughter wants to give it a try I would let her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Candid Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 I think a lot depends on the campus. For you, the biggest thing to consider is cost. In some places this could be high. If that is not doable then it would be good to know before she begins. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoggirl Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 I don't know where your daughter is going to school, but here in the South, rush can be extremely competitive. There were no Greeks at my undergraduate alma mater, but I had plenty of friends at Big State U who went through the process and have now witnessed as some of their daughters have gone through as well. I have had two friends whose daughters were legacies to their sororities not get bids. The daughters were able to pledge other sororities, but it was not what they wanted to do. One stuck with the other sorority; one did not. Recommendation letters are typically required, at least around these parts, so you need to start locating women you and your daughter know who *are* Greek who could write these letters for you. I am not trying to discourage you from doing this at all! Where your daughter is going may have a completely different process/system, but around here people put a whole lot into this process - even in the wardrobe category! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mumto2 Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 I just wanted to add that the big national sororities have very different "personalities" on different campuses. As a former rush aide--I spent senior year helping freshman go through rush--the most important thing is an open mind. The "best" house on campus may not be the one your daughter will be happiest in. Many times a small house will offer some great leadership opportunities. Frequently the girls who were disappointed were the ones that only had one or two houses they were willing to join and felt they had connections that meant they were already a member. Legacies do have connections which receive priority but recommendations just guarantee a closer look--most sororities to my knowledge. I know wearing the right thing during rush is very important in the south but to be honest wearing something memorable was more important where I went. I had an unusual necklace that I always wore everywhere back then, guarantee that was part of my description. Both sides meet tons of girls very quickly and it is hard to remember that many names. I hope this helps a bit. Another side note: I would consider having your daughter wait until second semester to rush. That will give her time to become familiar with college life first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 I rushed and joined a sorority, Sigma Sigma Sigma. It was very time consuming. However, it was the best thing I could have done for my grades. The houses are rated partly on the GPA's of the members. So they really enforce studying. I had mandatory hours for the first year, and then you are on the honor system. If your grades drop in later years you go back on mandatory study hours, they will find you a sister to tutor you, have copies of old exams you can use to study from (this is not against school rules), etc. REALLY good for my grades. I needed that. I'm not a motivated student, to say the least. They gave candy at chapter meetings if you attended all your classes that week. I never ever got a piece of candy. Yeah, I'm lame. My only downside was that I have face blindness and didn't know it at the time. So a whole group of girls, who are constantly wearing each other's clothes, changing hair styles all the time, often wearing matching shirts...yeah...I had no idea who anyone was and was pretty stressed out that people would think I was rude. But for most people that wouldn't have been an issue, and it would have been a ton of fun. It is also a financial obligation, so keep that in mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathy in Richmond Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 My daughter surprised me and joined a sorority at the beginning of her sophomore year. I had misgivings at first, but have come around recently to see her reasons for joining. The girls really are good friends for her, and she loves having a built-in social life. They support one another socially & academically, and she gets leadership opportunities. This year, she's VP in charge of rush, which keeps her busy. She enjoys meeting a wider variety of people and working on her 'small talk' skills, especially during rush when they meet & talk to lots of girls each night for a week. Her sorority doesn't have a house, so the girls live all over campus. The only negative I can see is the cost of dues; she works to pay for that herself, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
speedmom4 Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 I was in a sorority (Delta Zeta) in college. I joined the second semester of my freshman year. It was a great experience for me. There are definitely negatives to Greek life (partying) but that is going to be at most universities anyway. I think there are way more positives though. If there is a way for your dd to find out the "personalities" of each or some of the sororities before rushing that might help her. Good luck! Elise in NC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G5052 Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 Yes, it will vary at each school. I would have enjoyed it at the first college I attended, but the wardrobe and expenses were way beyond my means. They had balls in the "big city" that required hotel stays, and the expectations were much higher. The second school I went to didn't have sororities when I went there, but they do now. From what I've read in alumni newsletters, the scope and expenses are far more reasonable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomsintheGarden Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 I was in a sorority at a large southern university. A friend talked me into rushing, but I found it to not really be my thing and wished I hadn't. It took a lot of time - we had meetings about everything, like what color t-shirts to wear to the next activity (imagine trying to please 100 girls about that), and where we should have our next function. There were high expectations for appearance, and there was a lot of drinking at some events. The dues and wardrobe and event costs really added up, and I had a hard time affording it. That said, there were some very sweet girls in my sorority, and some real go-getters from whom I learned a lot about time management. A couple of my "sisters" have gone on to be quite famous, and it's been fun to follow their careers. The thing I liked the least about my particular chapter was that after I joined, they put an emphasis on being more "exclusive" and making sure that the "right" kinds of girls joined. Rush was a really big deal, with meetings long into the night discussing the qualities of girls we had just met, based on a very short conversation, their outfit and hairstyle. I dreaded those meetings. My dd goes to a college where there are no sororities, on purpose. When we were looking for schools, we were surprised at how many Christian colleges have a their own version of Greek life that mirrors that in secular schools. To get a feel for how much sororities and frats influence campus life, I recommend poking around on the "student life" sections of college websites. Look at pictures and percentages, and read the comments. About a year ago I was in a local shoe store. A mom was there with her college-aged dd, measuring with a ruler how far her pants hem was off the floor. The girl was in a sorority, she said, and she was buying clothes and shoes for rush. They were given extremely specific instructions on the color, cut, fit, and style of their garments and shoes for rush. That brought back a lot of memories... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hsbeth Posted February 6, 2013 Author Share Posted February 6, 2013 I don't know where your daughter is going to school, but here in the South, rush can be extremely competitive. There were no Greeks at my undergraduate alma mater, but I had plenty of friends at Big State U who went through the process and have now witnessed as some of their daughters have gone through as well. I have had two friends whose daughters were legacies to their sororities not get bids. The daughters were able to pledge other sororities, but it was not what they wanted to do. One stuck with the other sorority; one did not. Recommendation letters are typically required, at least around these parts, so you need to start locating women you and your daughter know who *are* Greek who could write these letters for you. I am not trying to discourage you from doing this at all! Where your daughter is going may have a completely different process/system, but around here people put a whole lot into this process - even in the wardrobe category! This is exactly what we are dealing with. DD's top choice right now is Bama. DH and I are both from New England and UMASS alumni. Neither of us participated in Greek life nor were particularly close to any who did. We've lived in GA for the last 7 years, but even our current circle of friends doesn't include many with those types of connections. Getting those rec. letters is going to be hard work for dd which is why I'm thinking we'll need to start investigating possibilities now. She has a few friends with moms, but rounding up most of them is going to be tough and I've heard they are absolutely necessary. She realizes getting into one of the "old row" houses might be more difficult so she's very open to considering any and all options. I can see this being a good fit for her personality wise. She is very social, way into fashion and make-up, and enjoys having a large circle of good friends versus one or two best friends. I'm somewhat concerned about the time commitment given that she will be in the honors college (based on ACT score) and majoring in engineering. Thanks for all who've chimed in! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoggirl Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 hsbeth - you are wise to be planning so far ahead. Good luck to you and your daughter as you navigate the process! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted February 10, 2013 Share Posted February 10, 2013 It really depends on the school. I was in a sorority and it was a great experience, but when I've been to alumnae events that draw graduates from a wide variety of schools, I can definitely see that I wouldn't have liked being in the chapter at certain schools. Some of the alumnae I've met have fit the worst stereotype of the snobby, superficial sorority chick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chepyl Posted February 10, 2013 Share Posted February 10, 2013 I loved being in a sorority. There was lots to do and.be involved in. By having good grades, I got out of a lot of the "mandatory" activities. I made some great friends! I did live in the house. Where I attended school, it was cheaper to be in a sorority and live in the house than to be in the dorms or an apartment. Our dues with room and board (12 hot meals and 3 cold breakfasts a week) were ay least $100 less than the dorms, and we did not pay for a.parking pass either. It just depends on the house and dorm. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caroline Posted February 10, 2013 Share Posted February 10, 2013 I am a Kappa Alpha Theta. I still have good friends from my sorority days. I really enjoyed being in a sorority. I was at Virginia Tech, which I don't really consider a southern university even though it is located in the South. I know Bama has a very active Theta chapter. PM me if you want more info. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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