windmillmarie Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 How do you work though baby fever if you really want another baby but are completely and utterly frightened for your health if you actually were pregnant? I don't know what it is. I have about the family size I wanted when I was young, I'll be 37 this year, I have had two c-sections in a row that were very scary, I am overweight - wii fit says I'm obese but I don't think I'm there, my heart has been doing odd things since my last c-section. My child isn't even a year yet! It's bonkers. We are not broke but are financially stretched and that is one of the reasons my DH uses against homeschooling- we afterschool now and he would want certain programs used if homeschooling. That's another thread :glare: . And yet... I want a baby. How do you work though that yearning? I am surrounded by pregnant moms and supersized families with 10-12 kids with no signs of stopping. That's probably playing into things. And this sounds probably a bit silly, but I really don't like to travel with a child under 18 months and can't while pregnant and consequently, we haven't really gone many places in the last decade. It's more anxiety producing for me than the less-than-18 month old probably. We were just talking about how instead of starting a 'new baby' savings account this year as we have in the past, we would save for a vacation. I've never been west of the Mississipi, for example, though DH has. Some random thoughts that are bugging me today, I guess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
butterflymommy Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 The best way to get rid of baby fever is to have a baby :D. I just lost an 8 week pregnancy & I have BF pretty bad at the moment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
windmillmarie Posted January 22, 2013 Author Share Posted January 22, 2013 I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you find some peace afterward. I lost a pregnancy between #2 and #3 and haven't since then. One of my fears is that I should stop while ahead. It doesn't help that googling for VBA2C or just TTC after two caesarians brings up either horror stories or birth options I am not comfortable with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melbotoast Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 Hide in a closet and don't go around anyone? Try and focus all your energy on the kids you have now? Take up a new hobby? That's what I've been doing for the past several months, although DH has finally agreed that we can try for another. :hurray: All my relatives of childbearing age are pregnant and one friend just found out she's having twins and it is driving me crazy! You could try looking for a supportive doctor to see if VBA2C would be a safe option for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 I would have loved one more child, but we are done at 2. It helps me know that almost all women still have longings for another baby after their last. I just think it's part of being a mother for many women. It does help to focus on what you have and the things you can do without an infant. Everything in life is give and take. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Um_2_4 Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 I wanted 5-6, but after the twins, I just don't think I can physically take it. I just recall my horrible c/s and recovery and how useless I was to my older ones. Plus I have no help here. When I was out yesterday, I saw a perfect swing, made me want another one! I set a goal of something I want in the near future that a pg would be in the way. Right now that is a trip in the spring to visit family in Europe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 Cute babies are very engaging. I love hanging out with friends' babies. I don't think those of us who enjoy infants ever really get over 'ooohhh, just one more." However, it doesn't hurt anymore. There isn't that physical longing. It feels nice to not have a needy baby. My current kids are needy enough. lol It's so much easier to travel now; no morning sickness, better sleep, the enjoyment of sharing the world with the older kids who are here. We just came back from a two week trip, and it was so easy. Everyone carried their own stuff, one flew on a different day and we didn't have to worry. They packed their own bags, some days they explored on their own while I slept in. I am not saying another baby is wrong-- it could be very right. You can have a baby in a year or two, but right now you do have a baby. Think about two babies and trying to get things done. Give yourself a little space to enjoy where you are at. I don't mean to lecture. lol. I mean to assure you that you have time, and to remind you that you have a darling baby who needs you. It's easier to care for an infant when you don't have morning sickness etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lea_lpz Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 The best way to get rid of baby fever is to have a baby :D. I agree ;)! Oh I got the same problem. You should have seen me googling after newborn twins at the zoo yesterday. Boy-girl twins. Just like I have ways wanted. When I get the baby itch, I try to repeat the various reasons why we've already decided to wait. Enjoy your 1 year old and cherish all the babyhood you can. And remember we never know what God has in store for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lea_lpz Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 The best way to get rid of baby fever is to have a baby :D. I agree ;)! Oh I got the same problem. You should have seen me googling after newborn twins at the zoo yesterday. Boy-girl twins. Just like I have ways wanted. When I get the baby itch, I try to repeat the various reasons why we've already decided to wait. Enjoy your 1 year old and cherish all the babyhood you can. And remember we never know what God has in store for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peplophoros Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 You could come to my house and endure the hours and hours and hours of screaming my 4th (and probably last) needy, cranky baby puts us all through :blink: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theYoungerMrsWarde Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 I have a friend who's husband got himself snipped even though she wants more kids. Every chance at church or moms groups she holds the available baby and takes care of it the whole time she's there. I think it helps, some. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 Go hang out with a group of tweenies. That is what babies eventually grown into. Do you really want to deal with more of those? :smilielol5: :smilielol5: :smilielol5: (that's all I've got because if I could do it again I would.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cjzimmer1 Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you find some peace afterward. I lost a pregnancy between #2 and #3 and haven't since then. One of my fears is that I should stop while ahead. It doesn't help that googling for VBA2C or just TTC after two caesarians brings up either horror stories or birth options I am not comfortable with. Sorry to derail but I wanted to let you know that I just had my 4th VBA2C last Friday. Really it can be done and done safely, it's not all horror stories but the doctors scare a lot of people into never trying so it's hard to find good stories because not many people try. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
windmillmarie Posted January 23, 2013 Author Share Posted January 23, 2013 Thank you for sharing your perspectives! And congrats to cjzimmer1 for your most recent Vba2c. That gives me hope! Perhaps I do need to spend more time thinking about both paths- making my body healthy in case we try again down the road, but also making plans for a next step in life. My husband's response to all of this is: 'Whatever you want to do, Honey!' My last OBGYN was less then forthcoming about my future chances but was the only option taking my insurance at that time. He kept telling me it was a good idea that I should be done. I wonder if I should look for a Catholic Obgyn to take a look at my last surgery notes and be honest about things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lea_lpz Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 Right now dh doesn't want more but he hasn't ruled it out for the future, so in the meantime I am trying to focus on losing weight and exercising so I can be in good health if he agrees :). He's also concerned with finances, but things are getting better and I am trying to finish my degree that would enable me to work part time in the evenings and from home a lot so i can still homeschool but enable us to be less stressed about money. Maybe you can focus on what you can do to change the circumstances making having another to the best of your abilities, too ;) I also had to c-sections. I would be willing to try a vbac2 next go. My ob however said another c-section would've ok for me. I think focusing on what you can do now is the best option. Are you open to fostering or adopting if biological children are no longer an option? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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