Elderly confused lady wandering in the cold!

[PrairieSong]

My dh and I were out for a bit this afternoon and stopped at the grocery store to get a few things. As we were leaving, an elderly woman was ahead of us, walking very slowly. She had no purse and only a light sweater, no coat, and it's below freezing here! As we put our stuff in the car we watched her wandering in the parking lot. Another man had also noticed, and asked me if I was going to check on her. I did, and the poor thing could not tell me her address or even her name! I called the police and stayed with her as she walked around the corner and then into a house! I went to the doorway and called, "hello?" A man came to the door and said yes, she lives here. Yes, she wanders sometimes! He did not seem very concerned, even when I pointed out she had no coat on and could not tell me her name or address. He just said yes, she is confused.

 

My husband had followed us in the car, and when I got in I called the police back and told them the address of the house where she apparently lived. They said an officer was on the way to the house, and that it sounded like the same lady they've had calls about before.

 

Seriously, what is WRONG with people??? Confused and wandering outside in the freezing weather with no coat, but this is NORMAL??? It makes me very sad.

[Scarlett]

My dh and I were out for a bit this afternoon and stopped at the grocery store to get a few things. As we were leaving, an elderly woman was ahead of us, walking very slowly. She had no purse and only a light sweater, no coat, and it's below freezing here! As we put our stuff in the car we watched her wandering in the parking lot. Another man had also noticed, and asked me if I was going to check on her. I did, and the poor thing could not tell me her address or even her name! I called the police and stayed with her as she walked around the corner and then into a house! I went to the doorway and called, "hello?" A man came to the door and said yes, she lives here. Yes, she wanders sometimes! He did not seem very concerned, even when I pointed out she had no coat on and could not tell me her name or address. He just said yes, she is confused.

 

My husband had followed us in the car, and when I got in I called the police back and told them the address of the house where she apparently lived. They said an officer was on the way to the house, and that it sounded like the same lady they've had calls about before.

 

Seriously, what is WRONG with people??? Confused and wandering outside in the freezing weather with no coat, but this is NORMAL??? It makes me very sad.

 

 

 

Very sad.

[PrairieSong]

I hope she gets some help.

 

[Slipper]

We found a lady like that before. She had dementia and had wandered from the house (her adult daughter was absolutely frantic). We wrapped her in a blanket (she was in our neighborhood) and called the police. They said they had just received a call reporting a lost adult with alzheimers. The whole reunion between them brought me to tears. The daughter was distraught and the older lady wasn't bothered in the least, she had no understanding of how dangerous it was. It was very sad.

[bettyandbob]

A family member can, at the very least, get a runner's id bracelet and put it on her wrist. I got one for my id ds when he started to open the front door. He doesn't wander. He likes to sit on the front step, but who knows...so he has a bracelet with a last name, address, and multiple phone numbers.

 

I'm sorry this woman does not have caregivers who will take minimal measures. I hope the police will make suggestions.

[NorthwestMom]

Thank you for helping that lady. My mom had Alzheimer's and wandered away from her Adult Family home 3 times before we were able to move her to a locked facility. People with dementia frequently wander off. It takes all of us to help keep our vulnerable citizens safe. You did a great thing.

[PrairieSong]

We found a lady like that before. She had dementia and had wandered from the house (her adult daughter was absolutely frantic). We wrapped her in a blanket (she was in our neighborhood) and called the police. They said they had just received a call reporting a lost adult with alzheimers. The whole reunion between them brought me to tears. The daughter was distraught and the older lady wasn't bothered in the least, she had no understanding of how dangerous it was. It was very sad.

 

What really upset me besides the fact that the confused lady was wandering outside with no coat, was that the man (her son?) seemed totally unconcerned. Sheesh. She could have wandered into the street, or stayed out in the cold a lot longer (I was about to give her my coat), or fallen, or who knows what?

[Impish]

It's possible that what you witnessed was caregiver burnout too. It's pretty common for folks to be dealing w/huge sleep deprivation when living w/someone w/dementia.

 

Chances are, they are flat out exhausted.

 

I agree, they should get a bracelet, some sort of alarm system, etc. There absolutely needs to be more measures in place.

[QueenCat]

It's possible that what you witnessed was caregiver burnout too. It's pretty common for folks to be dealing w/huge sleep deprivation when living w/someone w/dementia.

 

Chances are, they are flat out exhausted.

 

I agree, they should get a bracelet, some sort of alarm system, etc. There absolutely needs to be more measures in place.

 

I was thinking the same thing.

[PrairieSong]

It's possible that what you witnessed was caregiver burnout too. It's pretty common for folks to be dealing w/huge sleep deprivation when living w/someone w/dementia.

 

Chances are, they are flat out exhausted.

 

I agree, they should get a bracelet, some sort of alarm system, etc. There absolutely needs to be more measures in place.

 

Oh I totally get that. My mil took care of fil who had Alzheimer's until she was completely spent. All she could do was cry to dh's sister on the phone. That is when he went to the nursing home.

 

He wandered down the street a couple of times, too, when he was just confused enough to be a danger to himself. She was frantic. Anyway, I hope this family gets whatever help they need to keep this lady safe.

[Slipper]

It's possible that what you witnessed was caregiver burnout too. It's pretty common for folks to be dealing w/huge sleep deprivation when living w/someone w/dementia.

 

Chances are, they are flat out exhausted.

 

I agree, they should get a bracelet, some sort of alarm system, etc. There absolutely needs to be more measures in place.

 

I agree. Sometimes I'm sure I've come across as unconcerned when I'm actually just exhausted. I still deal with the problem but with almost no emotion because I'm so worn out.

 

I'm hoping, OP, that what you saw was burn out and once he was back inside he immediately acted to make the lady safer.

[PrairieSong]

 

 

I agree. Sometimes I'm sure I've come across as unconcerned when I'm actually just exhausted. I still deal with the problem but with almost no emotion because I'm so worn out.

 

I'm hoping, OP, that what you saw was burn out and once he was back inside he immediately acted to make the lady safer.

 

 

I hope that's what it was, too, Slipper. All I know is what I saw and how it appeared to me. I have no idea of what the family's situation truly is. Thanks for sharing your perspective.

 

[Elinor Everywhere]

Bless you for getting involved! We had a scary incident with my dad (Alzheimer's) when he was driving and couldn't figure out how to get home. We were all frantic and out looking for him, and fortunately my dad asked somebody for directions, and that person called the police. The police got back to us when they got to him, and we met them all in a parking lot. Very scary, and I was so thankful for the person who contacted the police, and the police themselves, who were concerned and wonderful.

[TranquilMind]

My dh and I were out for a bit this afternoon and stopped at the grocery store to get a few things. As we were leaving, an elderly woman was ahead of us, walking very slowly. She had no purse and only a light sweater, no coat, and it's below freezing here! As we put our stuff in the car we watched her wandering in the parking lot. Another man had also noticed, and asked me if I was going to check on her. I did, and the poor thing could not tell me her address or even her name! I called the police and stayed with her as she walked around the corner and then into a house! I went to the doorway and called, "hello?" A man came to the door and said yes, she lives here. Yes, she wanders sometimes! He did not seem very concerned, even when I pointed out she had no coat on and could not tell me her name or address. He just said yes, she is confused.

 

My husband had followed us in the car, and when I got in I called the police back and told them the address of the house where she apparently lived. They said an officer was on the way to the house, and that it sounded like the same lady they've had calls about before.

 

Seriously, what is WRONG with people??? Confused and wandering outside in the freezing weather with no coat, but this is NORMAL??? It makes me very sad.

 

Of course it's not normal. But it does happen when someone is a caregiver to a restless person, instead of a sedentary one (like I had). Maybe the guy watches her very well, but he was in the bathroom for a bit longer and she got out, despite his precautions. You don't really know.

[sparrow]

Thank you for helping her! My mom is now safe in a nursing home, but last year she wasn't. She had a couple of wandering incidents. It's impossible to know what's going on in the home, but it is so exhausting dealing with someone you can't reason with :(. I cannot even explain the level of frustration that comes with dealing with dementia or Alzheimer's 24/7.

[PrairieSong]

 

 

Of course it's not normal. But it does happen when someone is a caregiver to a restless person, instead of a sedentary one (like I had). Maybe the guy watches her very well, but he was in the bathroom for a bit longer and she got out, despite his precautions. You don't really know.

 

No, I don't know, but it upset me. I hope she will be safe. When I described her, our small town police said it sounded like the same lady they had had reports about previously, confused and wandering. Oh well, I did what I could.

 

Bless all of you who have cared for loved ones with dementia.

[TranquilMind]

No, I don't know, but it upset me. I hope she will be safe. When I described her, our small town police said it sounded like the same lady they had had reports about previously, confused and wandering. Oh well, I did what I could.

 

Bless all of you who have cared for loved ones with dementia.

 

Yes, you did and that's great.

 

You know how I look at it? I didn't have a wanderer, but sometimes people would say, "But what IF (fill in the blank - she forgot the stove? Turned off the heat? A fire started, God forbid, She didn't bathe?)?

 

Well, the way I looked at it is that we are all going to die somehow. I visited my Mom multiple times a week when she was well enough to go home, and I also hired part time caregivers. If something had happened, I would have still kept her in her home, where she wanted to be, above all things, so I would have not blamed myself. She would have far rather have been home and an accident happened, than stuck in a nursing home somewhere, where no one cared about her.

 

Nothing happened, but the AC did go out once. I fixed it the next day.

[Tree Frog]

Bless you for getting involved! We had a scary incident with my dad (Alzheimer's) when he was driving and couldn't figure out how to get home. We were all frantic and out looking for him, and fortunately my dad asked somebody for directions, and that person called the police. The police got back to us when they got to him, and we met them all in a parking lot. Very scary, and I was so thankful for the person who contacted the police, and the police themselves, who were concerned and wonderful.

 

 

We saw an older man in a parking lot last year who kept going up to different cars, all the same color, trying to unlock them. He couldn't keep his pants around his waist despite the belt and we noticed only one leg was in his undershorts. He had a very difficult time trying to hold his bags, hold his pants up, and unlock the doors. My husband approached him to see if he needed help, which the older man didn't want. As we continued to watch, he moved across the parking lot and eventually found his car, got in, and drove off. (We did follow him briefly as he pulled out of the parking lot and turned in to a subdivision and he seemed to drive without a problem. If we hadn't seen him in the parking lot, we wouldn't have thought there were any problems.)

 

We didn't know what to do to help him, especially when he was clear he didn't want any help. Thank you for telling me about contacting the police. It never crossed my mind to do so then, but if we see something similar again, we'll be sure to contact them.