No excitement with acceptance letters

[ValRN]

Okay, so my son has received 2 acceptance letters already (Has applied to 6 colleges. No rejections as of today.). The first he received about 2 weeks ago. He was in the middle of doing school work, I took it to him, he opened it, read it, and said, "Oh." Then he handed it to me to read. It was not his first choice college - only one he applied to because he heard that it has a good music program and because it is in our state (and he wants to stay close to home). So I understood that reaction.

 

He received the 2nd letter of acceptance last night. We were all standing around the island (my back was turned to everyone), DH handed him his mail, he opened it, and mumbled, "I got accepted." I didn't even hear him. DH had to tell me that DS was accepted. Now this was one of the schools that is tied as his first choice and he had no reaction. This kid confuses me.

 

I asked him why his reaction was so tepid. He said that he was still upset over not doing so well on his college algebra final exam earlier that night. But really, I don't think that was it because of his reaction with the first letter. Oh well, we'll see when (and if) he gets an acceptance letter from his other 1st choice. I want him to run through the house and yell, "I got accepted!". Guess not.

 

Have any of you had apathetic reactions to acceptance letters from your DC?

[Chris in VA]

No, but I could see another reason or two.

Perhaps getting accepted means it's "real" for him--the leaving home, the "next stage" etc. Maybe he's a little anxious, even if he's showing it in his own way.

Or maybe it just seems so far away when there's so much right in front of him.

 

Hugs to you both.

[Plink]

I remember greeting my college acceptance letters with very mixed emotions. Change isn't always easy, and those letters are a tangible confirmation that your entire reality is going to be different soon. Growing up is tricky.

[Plink]

Cross posted with Chris.

[Brenda in MA]

No, but I could see another reason or two. Perhaps getting accepted means it's "real" for him--the leaving home, the "next stage" etc. Maybe he's a little anxious, even if he's showing it in his own way. Or maybe it just seems so far away when there's so much right in front of him.

 

Hugs to you both.

:iagree:

 

As much as these kiddos are growing up, they have so much ahead of them that is unknown. I think his reaction is typical, especially for boys. He's relied on you and your dh for so long to steer him in the right direction, that deep down, he probably didn't think much about the prospect of not being accepted. Also, he may be a little afraid deep down about the changes looming on the horizon, but he doesn't want to admit that.

 

I know that when my son got his acceptance & scholarship info from his top choice, dh & I were elated, ds not so much. Even up through April and making the decision, ds was a bit "uninterested", so you may find this as well. Once he attended the summer orientation program, he was much more excited about going because it seemed more real, and his local friends were going to their orientation programs, too.

 

I'll continue to say that a kid's senior year is a real roller coaster ride -- up & down and up & down, etc..... Hang on tight for the ride!

 

Brenda

[SkateLeft]

I remember greeting my college acceptance letters with very mixed emotions. Change isn't always easy, and those letters are a tangible confirmation that your entire reality is going to be different soon. Growing up is tricky.

 

:iagree:

 

When my daughter got her first acceptance, she was very happy... not leaping-through-the-house happy, but she was happy. Since then, things have gotten a lot more subdued. Each subsequent acceptance has been met with "meh." Last night, she received an award letter for the Presidential Scholarship at one of her schools, and she said, "Yeah, sounds good," and walked off. So I called Grandma and got excited all by myself.

 

We used to have a clear first choice school, and now she's not even sure about that. Now we've got a "top 3." :blink:

 

She's definitely not as excited as she was in the beginning. I think the reality of the situation is setting in. The good news is that she's starting to think more critically about her decision.

 

So I think a tepid response is normal. I hope!

[creekland]

I agree that a tepid response tends to be normal. The TV ad that had tons of kids celebrating loudly when they opened their letters can be true in some cases, but isn't always the case - I don't think it's even the majority.

 

It's a big change for kids... plus, some just aren't all that emotional about it.

 

I do think it means more to us parents - sort of a "done good" [sic] pat on the back that all is going well.

 

So... I'll rejoice with you over the news... :party:

[Granny_Weatherwax]

Okay, so my son has received 2 acceptance letters already (Has applied to 6 colleges. No rejections as of today.). The first he received about 2 weeks ago. He was in the middle of doing school work, I took it to him, he opened it, read it, and said, "Oh." Then he handed it to me to read. It was not his first choice college - only one he applied to because he heard that it has a good music program and because it is in our state (and he wants to stay close to home). So I understood that reaction.

 

He received the 2nd letter of acceptance last night. We were all standing around the island (my back was turned to everyone), DH handed him his mail, he opened it, and mumbled, "I got accepted." I didn't even hear him. DH had to tell me that DS was accepted. Now this was one of the schools that is tied as his first choice and he had no reaction. This kid confuses me.

 

I asked him why his reaction was so tepid. He said that he was still upset over not doing so well on his college algebra final exam earlier that night. But really, I don't think that was it because of his reaction with the first letter. Oh well, we'll see when (and if) he gets an acceptance letter from his other 1st choice. I want him to run through the house and yell, "I got accepted!". Guess not.

 

Have any of you had apathetic reactions to acceptance letters from your DC?

 

I did. It wasn't a college acceptance letter but for a private STEM high school. DS had been wanting to go to this school for quite a while and when the acceptance letter arrived his reaction was less than enthusiastic. DH and I were shocked. We expected much more emotion. About twenty mins after reading the letter, DS told us he no longer wanted to go to the school and he hoped we wouldn't be terribly disappointed in him.

 

At the moment I think DS is so wrapped up in schoolwork and finals he could win the lottery, a free Xbox and a lifetime supply of games and he wouldn't show excitement. Once the semester is over, however, I think it will be a different story.

[Candid]

I think it is not uncommon for boys to have a muted response to things like this.

[jennynd]

Does he "always" like that when he heard a big news?? I don't think it is uncommon for boys not to react much. When I was preg with my 1st, DH's reaction was.. oh,,, you preg,,, that's good... I was so mad.. But then my DS8 is the same way. We told him few months back that we we gonna take him to see Notre Dame and Stanford football game at Notre Dame. 2 teams that he loves the most. His reaction was simply.. a little smile.

[AK_Mom4]

Yes - the whole "mixed emotions" thing. Not for DS21 - when he got his USAFA acceptance it was jumping around the room yelling time. But for DD18, it was a mild response for her first and second choice schools and she is my normal screamer. Getting accepted sort of drove home the "I'm leaving home" part of going to college.

[TravelingChris]

DD wasn't all that excited either. She was very ambivalent about leaving home. Now that she is nearly 19.5, there is no more ambivalence and she is more than ready to be gone for good (in a mostly good way)>

[ValRN]

Thank you everyone for your responses and shared excitement (Creekland). It's a relief to hear that some of your have had similar experiences.

 

Jennynd - DS is generally a calm, but passionate young man. He can seem totally nonreactive to some things and extremely passionate about others.

 

I am learning that just like some of you have said, the reality of growing up/leaving home is hitting him. He recently reached out to his cousin (2012 grad of University of Texas) to ask about college. They've been emailing back and forth almost daily. This is very different for DS - he sort of keeps to himself. Because we are a retired military family and have moved often and spent most of our time away from family, my DS does not really know this cousin. What he does know is that this cousin graduated from college in 4 years and with honors while working and being in the marching band. So I guess DS has a healthy respect towards him. He's been asking cousin lots of questions and admitted to him that he was nervous about if he'll be able to handle being in college full-time.

 

I'm assuming this is where the tepid response if originating. DS felt comfortable enough to tell me that he is talking to cousin and what he is talking to cousin about. I think he was opening the door for us to discuss it. We have long drives to orchestra rehearsal every weekend, so I will use those opportunities to begin discussing his concerns. We have our deepest discussions on the way to or from rehearsal.

[creekland]

Thank you everyone for your responses and shared excitement (Creekland). It's a relief to hear that some of your have had similar experiences.

 

Jennynd - DS is generally a calm, but passionate young man. He can seem totally nonreactive to some things and extremely passionate about others.

 

I am learning that just like some of you have said, the reality of growing up/leaving home is hitting him. He recently reached out to his cousin (2012 grad of University of Texas) to ask about college. They've been emailing back and forth almost daily. This is very different for DS - he sort of keeps to himself. Because we are a retired military family and have moved often and spent most of our time away from family, my DS does not really know this cousin. What he does know is that this cousin graduated from college in 4 years and with honors while working and being in the marching band. So I guess DS has a healthy respect towards him. He's been asking cousin lots of questions and admitted to him that he was nervous about if he'll be able to handle being in college full-time.

 

I'm assuming this is where the tepid response if originating. DS felt comfortable enough to tell me that he is talking to cousin and what he is talking to cousin about. I think he was opening the door for us to discuss it. We have long drives to orchestra rehearsal every weekend, so I will use those opportunities to begin discussing his concerns. We have our deepest discussions on the way to or from rehearsal.

 

It sounds like you have a very mature young man who knows how to go about finding answers to his questions. That's a good thing. ;) It's great that he has a good role model he's reached out to.

 

Like you, we had many of our deepest discussions while in the vehicle whether a short or long trip. I now treasure many of those memories.

 

May things go well for all involved!

 

And secretly... :party: Congrats again!