lovinglife Posted December 7, 2012 Share Posted December 7, 2012 Hi ladies! I just wanted some outside perspective, as I think I am losing my mind. My Dh lost his nice stable job as an intel analyst last Dec. He has military experience, an MA in Asian studies, and works very part time as adjunct faculty. We were out of work (besides a gig at CFA) for about 6-7 months before he was offered a position as a security officer (contractor) for a government agency. He has been working this job since July. I am so grateful that he has work, but this job is miserable. The pay is barely enough to scrape by with 6 kids in the metro DC area and has no benefits. He works an incredibly erratic schedule, they are always changing it, nights, mornings, weekends. He has a long commute plus no parking set aside, so gets parking tickets at least twice a month. Between the new baby, crazy job and my online work we are both strained to the max. Which brings me to my question. I have felt impressed that we need to move closer to family in Idaho. Our 6 kids are 8 (almost 9) and under and we live on the opposite side of the country. Long term, there are likely to be more opportunities here, but I don't see any good news on our horizon here although he is actively searching for work. We have found a company that would be interested in hiring Dh, but right now they don't have any office positions available, just factory floor work. The pay would be poverty level, but doable for a period of time and would include full benefits after three months. My parents would be willing to let use have their basement for up to a year so we could get on our feet. We would be near all of my extended family for the first time in our marriage and he would have the opportunity to move up within the company. He agreed to look into it as he knows things are difficult for me here ATM, but now I think he thinks I am crazy! Would it be crazy to take a financial hit in order to gain benefits like health coverage, shorter commute, predictable schedule, and time with extended family. Sorry for the novel, I just need some outside eyes! Susie - Mom to 6 wonderful kids. Plate spinner extraordinaire- online adjunct faculty, homeschooling mom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted December 7, 2012 Share Posted December 7, 2012 Hi ladies! I just wanted some outside perspective, as I think I am losing my mind. My Dh lost his nice stable job as an intel analyst last Dec. He has military experience, an MA in Asian studies, and works very part time as adjunct faculty. We were out of work (besides a gig at CFA) for about 6-7 months before he was offered a position as a security officer (contractor) for a government agency. He has been working this job since July. I am so grateful that he has work, but this job is miserable. The pay is barely enough to scrape by with 6 kids in the metro DC area and has no benefits. He works an incredibly erratic schedule, they are always changing it, nights, mornings, weekends. He has a long commute plus no parking set aside, so gets parking tickets at least twice a month. Between the new baby, crazy job and my online work we are both strained to the max. Which brings me to my question. I have felt impressed that we need to move closer to family in Idaho. Our 6 kids are 8 (almost 9) and under and we live on the opposite side of the country. Long term, there are likely to be more opportunities here, but I don't see any good news on our horizon here although he is actively searching for work. We have found a company that would be interested in hiring Dh, but right now they don't have any office positions available, just factory floor work. The pay would be poverty level, but doable for a period of time and would include full benefits after three months. My parents would be willing to let use have their basement for up to a year so we could get on our feet. We would be near all of my extended family for the first time in our marriage and he would have the opportunity to move up within the company. He agreed to look into it as he knows things are difficult for me here ATM, but now I think he thinks I am crazy! Would it be crazy to take a financial hit in order to gain benefits like health coverage, shorter commute, predictable schedule, and time with extended family. Sorry for the novel, I just need some outside eyes! Susie - Mom to 6 wonderful kids. Plate spinner extraordinaire- online adjunct faculty, homeschooling mom. I'd go back to ID in a heartbeat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovinglife Posted December 7, 2012 Author Share Posted December 7, 2012 So I may not be a lunatic after all ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted December 7, 2012 Share Posted December 7, 2012 It's scary either way. I'd probably go back to ID. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyinTN Posted December 7, 2012 Share Posted December 7, 2012 I would definitely move back to ID. You would have a support system(family) and a more stable life after a time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted December 7, 2012 Share Posted December 7, 2012 It depends upon the possibility of getting out of the factory work. I would not continue to live in an area where there were no job opportunities or jobs weren't happening. We did move back to be closer to family and where the job was, but we had lived there previously and we only stayed with my parents short term (and had done so previously with good success). To be honest, it would have to be dh's idea and him fully supporting it. Job woes play upon a man's psyche. Moving in with family with a larger family could make him feel like a failure, doing a job beneath his qualifications that doesn't even pay the bills can do the same thing (BTDT). Barely scrapping by can mean different things. If your monthly bills are paid and dh doesn't want to move, I wouldn't push it. If you're behind on rent/mortgage, not having enough to eat, shuffling utilities to pay, and your dh is overly stressed by it all, I would consider the move. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
speedmom4 Posted December 7, 2012 Share Posted December 7, 2012 You have a really difficult decision on your hands at the moment. I would definitely look at this situation long term. Are you temporarily in a slump but it will likely improve? It sounds like DC is exactly the area of the country where your husband could most likely find work. But the COL is so high with 6 children. What does you dh think? What are the long term prospects for him in Idaho? What is the unemployment rate there? Quality of life seems like it could be better in Idaho. Since you haven't lived among family since you had children do you anticipate good relationships with them? Living in a basement for a year sounds incredibly stressful. I would make a chart and assign each category a number (10-best, 1-worst) For example COL could be a category. Idaho might be an 8 but DC might be a 2. After you do all the categories you will have a number. Maybe the cold hard numbers will help you all make a decision. Good luck! Elise in NC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovinglife Posted December 7, 2012 Author Share Posted December 7, 2012 Thanks for the advice so far- I like the number idea. I know that as long as he is working it will boil down to his decision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted December 7, 2012 Share Posted December 7, 2012 Perhaps the concept of living in your mom's basement is what's making him hesitant to make the move. Would you be able to afford a place of your own in ID? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted December 7, 2012 Share Posted December 7, 2012 I dunno. I would have a difficult time convincing my DH to take a factory job with less pay to replace a white collar office job even if it was horrible. And living with 6 kids including a new baby in the inlaws basement would be a HUGE NO-WAY my DH. YMMV. Maybe it's time to do some additional job-shopping? There are lots of places that are closer to Idaho than DC. Maybe he could get a job somewhere in the West that would let you be closer to your family, but wouldn't be such a huge lifestyle change? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovinglife Posted December 7, 2012 Author Share Posted December 7, 2012 We've already been looking nationally and internationally for over a year. :confused1: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PentecostalMom Posted December 7, 2012 Share Posted December 7, 2012 So I may not be a lunatic after all ;) I would definitely move back to ID. You would have a support system(family) and a more stable life after a time. I know how you feel! I would go to be near family. A support system is important. I know about taking a lesser job and all of that, my dh did the same thing and we still ended up coming to be near family. Things are tighter than they would be if he could find a job elsewhere but after looking for two years we moved back home. Dh is headed back to school in a different career field this coming spring. We are both looking forward to the changes and love being near family! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athena1277 Posted December 7, 2012 Share Posted December 7, 2012 We also live outside DC. We hate it. We would move back closer to family in a heartbeat if the right job for dh came along. I vote move! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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