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Today is 50 days my dad's been in the cardiac ICU.


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Thought I'd post a dad update since I got to spend the day with him yesterday...

 

He got a blood transfusion yesterday. His hemoglobin (red blood cells) was very low; a reading of 7.2, where a 'normal/healthy' reading would be 12-14. This is very common for people in his situation. So even though dad is oxygenating his blood well, the oxygen is having a hard time traveling throughout his body. The red blood cells are the 'carriers' for the oxygen in your blood. So, he got an infusion of two units of blood. The hope is that this will help him regain strength to continue to improve with his daily physical therapy.

 

It's possible Dad will need another transfusion in the future, as his nurse explained this is very normal for someone recovering in dad's situation. So I asked dad if he'd like me to contact the Red Cross about doing a direct blood donation for him, and he said yes. So I'll be looking into that this week. Just an extra 'peace of mind' thing for dad. It's kind of a scary proposition to dad to get blood from a complete stranger, even though the standards for screening blood are so stringent now.

 

Dad's bedsore on his 'very lower back' is causing him a LOT of pain. The doctors and nurses are doing their best to help dad manage the pain, and the sore is healing. But it's a large sore, and very painful, and the healing is slow. Unfortunately, mom JUST texted me that the doctor who was inspecting/cleaning the sore yesterday just looked at it again this morning, and thinks the damage might go all the way down to dad's bone. It sounds so incredibly painful. Dad was having a hard time with the pain yesterday. I was able to help him keep on top of requesting his pain meds at regular intervals. As soon as the medication would start to wear off, dad would rate his pain as either an 8 or 9 out of 10 when we had to ask him. This is hard for me to see; dad in so much pain. But I'm glad to be there to help him. He told me yesterday that when he lays down, he feels like he's smothering, but then when he sits up, the pain on his sore is so bad. :(

His breathing continues to improve, but the progress is slow and frustrating for dad. The respitory therapist yesterday said he believes dad is ready to 'upgrade' his trach to the kind that allows him to talk. Not quite ready for the kind that would allow him to eat and drink, but being able to talk would help dad quite a bit with his frustration levels. Mom will be speaking to the pulmology doctor about that today.

Speaking of that, dad is very patient with me when I'm there to help him, but he's, uh, 'fiesty' for mom.

 

** Here's where I'll add something I couldn't put on facebook, because I'm friends with my mom there; but I need to talk about it somewhere. The tension between my parents is growing every day. Dad was calm and thankful ALL day long when I was there yesterday. From like 10:45am to 6pm, everything was great. I helped him, he did his physical therapy, we talked about stuff. Everything was fine; well, you know, as 'fine' as things can be when you're miserable in the ICU. But then my mom showed up around 6, and it all fell apart. The way she treats him; it almost brings me to tears. It's so hard to watch that I had to leave the room sometimes. She's impatient, gruff, unloving. She yelled at me for helping him, and dad told her to shut up. I finally cracked. I tlold mom that I would help dad whenever he asked, and told dad that it's not nice to tell people to shut up. I don't know; I felt like I was referreing my little boys when she was there. It's just awful. Finally, after about an hour of mom being there, she was over yakking with the nurse about everyday stuff. So I went to dad and quietly said "Dad, I have to leave soon since it's getting late. But I'll take mom with me". He smiled and gave me a kiss. :P

So, how specifically you can pray for my dad:

For continued healing for his breathing, as well as his bed sore. For grace to be patient, both with his progress and with mom specifically.

Most of all that the Lord would use all of this to draw dad closer to him. That dad would feel the love of the Lord surrounding him, holding him when he feels weak, comforting him when he's in pain and frustrated.

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:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: for you, Bethany.

 

A comment about his pain - can he get a pump for his pain meds so he can be in control of that? I've heard that being in control of the pump has some mental benefit as well.

 

Best wishes.

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Is there a local they can give him just for the sore? Like a nerve block or something?

 

Will pray for mom and dad.

 

There is a local they can give him for when it needs to be {shudder} debrided. The PA that I spoke with yesterday thought it would be done bedside, but now that we've had the doctor look at it, it's worse than she thought. He will need to go to OR for it.

 

I cannot IMAGINE the pain this must be causing my dad. It really, really pulls at me. :(

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Thank you for the update, Bethany. I will continue to pray for your dad, and I am adding your mom to my prayers to pray for her to have grace with him and to release any anxiety she may be transferring to him in the form of anger.

 

:grouphug:

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Bethany, I just spent two months driving back and forth from TN to GA to take care of my dd and my dh while they were in the hospital and I had people helping me take care of them but there was no one taking care of me. 50 days taking care of someone in the hospital and all of the regular things in your life. The stress is over whelming. Please try to grant her some grace. Things are hard on her too. I am sure that things are hard on you too and you need to make sure that you also have back up and someone helping to take care of you. A support group if you can find it both for you and your mom and one for your dad. The stress doesn't go down for many months after they get out of the hospital.

 

As far as his back is concerned, they never should have let it get that bad in the first place. Now they need to go in and debride, install a block and a morphine drip and then get him a sheepskin pad for his bed. Then they need to arrange it so that he can lay on his side (changing from side to side) so that his back can heal.

 

You also need to check into whether you can bank blood for him. It is against the law in GA but apparently legal in other states. In any case, I was told it takes two weeks to process the blood and have it ready to use so you might want to get on the ball about this. I am sorry that you are going through all of this. I know it is so hard. :grouphug:

Edited by KidsHappen
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