Holding back a child

[Mallory]

I am considering holding back my 11 yo. He has a May birthday and is in 6th this year. So he is on the younger side of things.

 

If this kid had been in school, he would have probably been held back in 1st or 2nd. He didn't learn to read until 9yo. And in many other ways shows all of those rightbrained signs, his spelling is awful. He does okay on standardized tests, because he can read and do math, but his writing skills are behind.

 

He also doesn't get along well socially with older kids -plays on a U14 and U12 soccer team. While the older kids aren't really mean to him (that's the team I help coach) they are definatly just putting up with him. He is a big kid and is athletically capable of playing on that team, but socially he doesn't fit.

 

I've always thought this just didn't matter, that we'd keep teaching him where he was, and it would all work out. BUT Arkansas has recently passed this law letting homeschooled kids participate in interscolastic activies. BUT one of the big requirements is that they have to take at least one class at the school. And I really think middle school next year-even if he just took something like drawing- would be really hard for him.

 

I guess I just wanted to get this all down and see what you think.

 

Thanks.

[Ellie]

I am considering holding back my 11 yo. He has a May birthday and is in 6th this year. So he is on the younger side of things.

 

If this kid had been in school, he would have probably been held back in 1st or 2nd. He didn't learn to read until 9yo. And in many other ways shows all of those rightbrained signs, his spelling is awful. He does okay on standardized tests, because he can read and do math, but his writing skills are behind.

 

He also doesn't get along well socially with older kids -plays on a U14 and U12 soccer team. While the older kids aren't really mean to him (that's the team I help coach) they are definatly just putting up with him. He is a big kid and is athletically capable of playing on that team, but socially he doesn't fit.

 

I've always thought this just didn't matter, that we'd keep teaching him where he was, and it would all work out. BUT Arkansas has recently passed this law letting homeschooled kids participate in interscolastic activies. BUT one of the big requirements is that they have to take at least one class at the school. And I really think middle school next year-even if he just took something like drawing- would be really hard for him.

 

I guess I just wanted to get this all down and see what you think.

 

Thanks.

I don't consider a child whose bday is in May to be "younger." :001_huh: I say this as someone with two dds born in May, who has a July bday and is married to someone with a September bday. *I* would not hold back a child with a May bday. I'd consider it if it were late August, but not May.

 

Couldn't he wait another year to take participate in public school sports? Does he *have* to do public school sports?

[AimeeM]

We are considering it with our dd (she has an august birthday). Kind of the opposite problem though - because her birthday is literally RIGHT BEFORE the cutoff, when she participates in sports she is usually (actually, always I think) placed with children her age, but a grade younger (because many of the youth sports here have a July 31st cutoff). All of her friends are in 5th grade actually. It just seems to be where she *fits* best socially. Our hesitation is academics - she does fine academically but for writing and spelling (she is dyslexic). I hesitate to hold her back *only* for social reasons (something she may move ahead in eventually).

Also, our daughter is pretty small for her age. At 11, she's about 60 lbs and short to boot. Her 5th grade friends tower over her usually, lol. Her grade peers (6th grade) seem HUGE.

Like you, our state recently passed a law allowing homeschoolers to participate in interscholastic sports (here, though, middle school sports do not start until 7th grade).

Our worry is that we may place her back in Catholic at some point. UNTIL that point we've decided to just keep her at her "legal" level on paper, and teach her where she's at, academically. Also, she is now participating in a more skill based activity (ballet), that is segregated by skill level INSTEAD OF age. So it's less of a big deal :D.

[Ellie]

We are considering it with our dd (she has an august birthday). Kind of the opposite problem though - because her birthday is literally RIGHT BEFORE the cutoff, when she participates in sports she is usually (actually, always I think) placed with children her age, but a grade younger (because many of the youth sports here have a July 31st cutoff). All of her friends are in 5th grade actually. It just seems to be where she *fits* best socially. Our hesitation is academics - she does fine academically but for writing and spelling (she is dyslexic). I hesitate to hold her back *only* for social reasons (something she may move ahead in eventually).

Also, our daughter is pretty small for her age. At 11, she's about 60 lbs and short to boot. Her 5th grade friends tower over her usually, lol.

Like you, our state recently passed a law allowing homeschoolers to participate in interscholastic sports (here, though, middle school sports do not start until 7th grade).

Our worry is that we may place her back in Catholic at some point. UNTIL that point we've decided to just keep her at her "legal" level on paper, and teach her where she's at, academically. Also, she is now participating in a more skill based activity (ballet), that is segregated by skill level INSTEAD OF age. So it's less of a big deal :D.

I would definitely *not* hold back a homeschooled child for social reasons. :001_huh:

[Karen in CO]

What is the normal cutoff in your district? What grade are the other 11yo's in your district in? My dd with a December birthday is 11 in 6th grade and turning 12 in a few months. She fits in well with her age-peers socially and is quite a bit ahead of them academically. If she were in 7th grade, she'd still be ahead academically but behind socially. Is your ds doing 6th grade work now or is he "behind"?

[AimeeM]

I would definitely *not* hold back a homeschooled child for social reasons. :001_huh:

How is it any different than holding back a ps kid for social reasons?

[Mallory]

I don't consider a child whose bday is in May to be "younger." :001_huh: I say this as someone with two dds born in May, who has a July bday and is married to someone with a September bday. *I* would not hold back a child with a May bday. I'd consider it if it were late August, but not May.

 

Couldn't he wait another year to take participate in public school sports? Does he *have* to do public school sports?

 

I think May is on the younger side, end of August is the cut off, so anyone with a September to April birthday is older then he is, and in our area many many boys with even july or June birthdays waited a year or were held back. But actual age aside he really does act younger. Most of his friends are younger and I'd just feel really badly about starting him in middle school with all of these social issues facing him.

 

Of course he doesn't have to participate in public school sports, but then that would mean no sports for our area once he hits 7th grade. And compared to his academic or social life-sports is one area that he really succeeds at.

 

Like you, our state recently passed a law allowing homeschoolers to participate in interscholastic sports (here, though, middle school sports do not start until 7th grade).

 

Ours is 7th grade too, I am talking about next year.

 

I would definitely *not* hold back a homeschooled child for social reasons.

 

See, since we are going to still be homeschooling and his more serious school work will be completed at home on his own timeline, social reasons seem at least as important as placement then academics. We spend a lot of time with these kids. I volunteer and the kids participate in an afterschool program, we are involved in both soccer teams, and a football team. And let me tell you, the difference between him in a group of 5th graders and a group of 7th graders is huge (yes I know he is supposed to be in the middle, but if he went to middle school next year those 7th graders would still be around as 8th graders).

 

Is your ds doing 6th grade work now or is he "behind"?

His reading and math are okay for 6th grade, but any writing at all is a struggle. I think he would always be at the back of average and it would always be a struggle to keep on this way. But a grade younger would make him even enjoy school, even in our homeschool, I would be able to let up a little and not fight about school work every day.

 

Thanks for your thoughts.

Edited October 1, 2012 by Mallory

[Durriyyah]

I would hesitate holding him back since it could be demotivating for him. Could you put a focused effort on the core subjects, and include lots of exploring and fun things so it isn't a punishment to do writing 2 hours a day and math for 3 hours (maybe not literally that long, but you get my drift)? :)

 

Some kids just don't follow social cues very well, and they will act in ways that are annoying to others without realizing it. I was able to talk to DD1 about this when she was about 10 and she corrected it herself by simply watching the people around her. Not that she needs to act like a different person, but if someone is crying in the room, it isn't time for a card game.

 

If he was in the public schools, do you think they would hold him back? Do you think you'll have a hard time getting the high school level classes in when the time comes? Those would be deciding factors for me.

[AimeeM]

I think May is on the younger side, end of August is the cut off, so anyone with a September to April birthday is older then he is, and in our area many many boys with even july or June birthdays waited a year or were held back. But actual age aside he really does act younger. Most of his friends are younger and I'd just feel really badly about starting him in middle school with all of these social issues facing him.

 

Of course he doesn't have to participate in public school sports, but then that would mean no sports for our area once he hits 7th grade. And compared to his academic or social life-sports is one area that he really succeeds at.

 

 

 

Ours is 7th grade too, I am talking about next year.

 

 

 

See, since we are going to still be homeschooling and his more serious school work will be completed at home on his own timeline, social reasons seem at least as important as placement then academics. We spend a lot of time with these kids. I volunteer and the kids participate in an afterschool program, we are involved in both soccer teams, and a football team. And let me tell you, the difference between him in a group of 5th graders and a group of 7th graders is huge (yes I know he is supposed to be in the middle, but if he went to middle school next year those 7th graders would still be around as 8th graders).

 

 

His reading and math are okay for 6th grade, but any writing at all is a struggle. I think he would always be at the back of average and it would always be a struggle to keep on this way. But a grade younger would make him even enjoy school, even in our homeschool, I would be able to let up a little and not fight about school work every day.

 

Thanks for your thoughts.

I'm kind of with you on this.

I personally feel that if holding back needs to happen, it needs to happen now. If you feel he would have a difficult time keeping up socially or academically in high school, middle school is the time to make that decision.

Instead of "holding back" (regarding what you say to him), you could just phrase it as "doing 6th grade over two years".

Or, he could be like my daughter and not mind the idea of being held back. Socially, she simply fits in better with a grade below her own (this is only her second year here at home).

[Dina in Oklahoma]

I'm kind of with you on this.

I personally feel that if holding back needs to happen, it needs to happen now. If you feel he would have a difficult time keeping up socially or academically in high school, middle school is the time to make that decision.

Instead of "holding back" (regarding what you say to him), you could just phrase it as "doing 6th grade over two years".

Or, he could be like my daughter and not mind the idea of being held back. Socially, she simply fits in better with a grade below her own (this is only her second year here at home).

:iagree::iagree::iagree: My birthday is late August, I turned 5 and a week later was in kindagarten. I struggled my entire academic life. If you feel he needs to be "held back" or 6th or two years then do it. He will only get more behind. Take this time to shore up weak spots and grow his confidence. I can't see any plausible reason why you shouldn't.

You know your child best.

 

Best Wishes!:001_smile:

Edited October 1, 2012 by Dina in Oklahoma

[PeterPan]

Writing skills could be an EF (executive function) issue for him. I wouldn't hold him back just for that. The EF portion of the brain affects their ability to see structure, controls working memory, etc. etc., ie. the skills that need to come together for writing. So if he has some EF delays or other issues going on, then it's going to come, just later. That, in and of itself, isn't really cause for holding back, not when all the other scores are good. If it's the sports/social, well you have to assess how important it is to him. Does he actually show prowess in those areas to make that worthwhile? Is it something he's actually going to want to continue with through high school?

 

I think though you're looking at the overall picture. Personally, I would get some testing done (not standardized testing but neuropsych), just to see if there's something more going on. There are probably some things that would turn up, and then you'd be making a decision with full information. I think he's right on that line where you could go either way. If your gut says hold him back, that it makes his life better, do so. I think it's a shame though to hold him back if his IQ is fine and the issue is curriculum, not catching some SN, or that he's going to have a delayed developmental pattern on a couple things. For kids for instance with EF issues (which is going to be the case with many R-brained kids), their EF could be delayed by 30% or more. So there's no IQ issue, just a different timetable on things that use EF like writing. And EF issues like that could make them seem immature comparatively too. So that's why I was saying in *your* shoes I would want some more information so you could make an informed decision.

[momto2Cs]

I personally like the idea of telling him he's doing 6th grade over two years. I think you need to go with your gut instinct on this matter, and, with your family, decide what is best for your son.

[Mallory]

Or, he could be like my daughter and not mind the idea of being held back. Socially, she simply fits in better with a grade below her own (this is only her second year here at home).

 

Yeah, I mean he might be a little dissapointed, but I think he would quickly agree that he'd rather be with the 5th graders.

 

 

 

OhElizabeth, thanks for another thing to look at ;) So where do I start to get the testing done?

 

I think he's right on that line where you could go either way. If your gut says hold him back, that it makes his life better, do so. I think it's a shame though to hold him back if his IQ is fine and the issue is curriculum, not catching some SN, or that he's going to have a delayed developmental pattern on a couple things.

 

This is what I think too, he is right on the line. And since at this point, for this child, any classes he would take at school would be extras, and here at home I would still be able to teach him where he is at (even if that means doing a lot orally or when I write.)

[Mallory]

For an example of writing with him. Today he is supposed to do Week 4 Day 1 of WWS.

 

One of the first things this morning he read the lesson. No problem.

I encouraged him to write down the 5 or 6 phrases, he said he needed a break.

He did some typing and drawing.

I had him tell me about the story. He does okay. Then I told him to write down the first thing that happened in a few words.

I went to check the other boys.

When I came back about 5 minutes later he was rolling around on the floor, nothing was written down.

We sat down and I said I would write the phrases, but he will have to write the sentances. He did fine once I was writing.

I told him that if he wrote one sentance he could go run some laps around the house.

He rolled around on the floor a while. I came back in and we went over the first two phrases and how he could combine them. Pretty soon he asked me how to spell "one" then "eye." He finished his sentance and went outside for a while.

He came back and did math, slowly and not as much as I'd like, but not quite as difficult as writing.

Then he worked on the second sentance.

 

This is what he wrote today-

Ther are dragens avure ware E evan got one in her eye.

Dragons wur mase and destrktev so they wer honted butt they wur stele thar.

[PeterPan]

For an example of writing with him. Today he is supposed to do Week 4 Day 1 of WWS.

 

One of the first things this morning he read the lesson. No problem.

I encouraged him to write down the 5 or 6 phrases, he said he needed a break.

He did some typing and drawing.

I had him tell me about the story. He does okay. Then I told him to write down the first thing that happened in a few words.

I went to check the other boys.

When I came back about 5 minutes later he was rolling around on the floor, nothing was written down.

We sat down and I said I would write the phrases, but he will have to write the sentances. He did fine once I was writing.

I told him that if he wrote one sentance he could go run some laps around the house.

He rolled around on the floor a while. I came back in and we went over the first two phrases and how he could combine them. Pretty soon he asked me how to spell "one" then "eye." He finished his sentance and went outside for a while.

He came back and did math, slowly and not as much as I'd like, but not quite as difficult as writing.

Then he worked on the second sentance.

 

This is what he wrote today-

 

Like I said, I would get some testing done. This is the age where when you're seeing unresolved problems it's time to figure out *why*. That why will answer your question about holding him back a grade. You're wanting a neuropsychologist. You can ask your ped for a referral or do some searching to find one yourself. Word of mouth is helpful in finding a good one.

[8filltheheart]

For an example of writing with him. Today he is supposed to do Week 4 Day 1 of WWS.

 

One of the first things this morning he read the lesson. No problem.

I encouraged him to write down the 5 or 6 phrases, he said he needed a break.

He did some typing and drawing.

I had him tell me about the story. He does okay. Then I told him to write down the first thing that happened in a few words.

I went to check the other boys.

When I came back about 5 minutes later he was rolling around on the floor, nothing was written down.

We sat down and I said I would write the phrases, but he will have to write the sentances. He did fine once I was writing.

I told him that if he wrote one sentance he could go run some laps around the house.

He rolled around on the floor a while. I came back in and we went over the first two phrases and how he could combine them. Pretty soon he asked me how to spell "one" then "eye." He finished his sentance and went outside for a while.

He came back and did math, slowly and not as much as I'd like, but not quite as difficult as writing.

Then he worked on the second sentance.

 

This is what he wrote today-

 

Ther are dragens avure ware E evan got one in her eye.

Dragons wur mase and destrktev so they wer honted butt they wur stele thar.

 

 

I am not one who normally encourages parents to seek evaluations and interventions, however what you are describing is neither normal behavior for an 11 yr old nor appropriate output for his age.

 

I would gently suggest that there are much more pressing issues that need to be addressed than simple grade level classification. :iagree: w/OhE. Now is the time to seek an evaluation.

[Ellie]

How is it any different than holding back a ps kid for social reasons?

Because "grade level" has no real relevance for a homeschooled child.

 

I would probably not do it for a child in school, either, but I see no reason whatsoever to even consider it for a homeschooled child, whose "classroom" consists of siblings who are all not the same age, anyway.

[AimeeM]

I am not one who normally encourages parents to seek evaluations and interventions, however what you are describing is neither normal behavior for an 11 yr old nor appropriate output for his age.

 

I would gently suggest that there are much more pressing issues that need to be addressed than simple grade level classification. :iagree: w/OhE. Now is the time to seek an evaluation.

I would agree with 8Fill and OhElizabeth (says the lady with a dyslexic daughter).

[AimeeM]

Because "grade level" has no real relevance for a homeschooled child.

 

I would probably not do it for a child in school, either, but I see no reason whatsoever to even consider it for a homeschooled child, whose "classroom" consists of siblings who are all not the same age, anyway.

You would be correct if the child were going to continue to be homeschooled entirely, but I disagree otherwise.

Even if *all* the op's child takes at the public school is "extra" classes, if the output is on a level he can't keep up with, that needs to be considered. If I were to have my daughter take speech or debate at the local middle school, but the output requires much more writing than she is capable of, that is something I need to consider (just as an example). Perhaps a grade lower has more emotionally appropriate classes up for grabs. If it's only sports teams, no big.

For us, we do not plan to homeschool for the long run (not with our eldest anyway). The plan is to eventually send her back to brick and mortar Catholic school (I think I stated that in the original reply you quoted), so the weight of the argument ("no need to do this for a homeschooled child") is somewhat irrelevant - she needs proper grade placement when she returns for school.

[Mandy in TN]

I have never regretted holding my dyslexic ds who has an April bday. I would also suggest an evaluation.

 

HTH-

Mandy

[ECreasman]

My daughter has never grown in height since 5th grade. She is now in 9th and is still 4'9''! We've since found Celiac disease and shortness of stature is a major symptom. She also has a July 30 birthday with school starting 2 days later in kindergarten. We held her back in 8th grade and she even agreed that she needed that extra time. She is more confident and happier. I went with my heart and knew she needed that extra time. It worked for us!

[Mallory]

Yes I know his writing is terrible. Really until last year, reading was our focus, and I'll admit that last year I was just so glad that he was reading that I probably didn't push the writing like I should have, but spelling (he did SWO A, B, and C just filling out the pages because other wise it was a crying fight everyday) I just couldn't deal with.

 

I really feel like I did about his reading that the jump to writing and having any kind of readable spelling will come, it is just going to take longer then most.

 

We do take standardized tests (where of course you don't do much writing) and last spring when he was almost 11, and had only been what I would call reading for a little more then a year he took the ITBS.

 

He got 71 for total reading score and 67 for a total math score. The year before, I can't remember for sure what he got, but I think his reading was in the 40's and his math was in the 70's.

 

There are some subjects he does great in if he doesn't have to write. The boys are both doing R&S 6 (after only having done FLL 3 a coulple years earlier) and he has a better grasp of grammar then his brother. Of course if he has to write much it is a battle and when he diagrams he hardly every writes more then the first letter, but he can diagram well.

 

Okay, feeling really stupid here- I start by making him an appointment at the doctors? Or do I find a neuropychologist first (I am pretty sure there probably isn't one in our whole county)?

 

Because "grade level" has no real relevance for a homeschooled child.

 

I would probably not do it for a child in school, either, but I see no reason whatsoever to even consider it for a homeschooled child, whose "classroom" consists of siblings who are all not the same age, anyway.

Grade level has no real meaning academically, because you are going to teach where they are at, so it almost only means social placement. It's how the other kids know where you fit.

[PeterPan]

Okay, feeling really stupid here- I start by making him an appointment at the doctors? Or do I find a neuropychologist first (I am pretty sure there probably isn't one in our whole county)?

 

Well usually you have to go through your pediatrian/family doctor to get the referral if you're trying to get insurance to cover it. So that's your first step, to figure out who will be paying for it. BTW, schools will do educational testing. It really varies with the school as to how *thorough* they are and helpful (feedback telling you what to DO with the results), but they will do some. If cost is a factor, that option is there. If you have insurance, then you find out what their procedure is. Most seem to want you to get a referral from the ped. If you are self-paying or have a high deductible or don't have coverage for it through your insurance or whatever, then you just call up one yourself. You don't need help to get in; any neuropsych will take the appointment just by you calling. The issue is getting your ducks in a row for insurance purposes.

 

As far as finding one, it's always good to get some word on the street and feedback from people in your area. Usually a neuropsych visit involves an intake meeting with you and then 1-3 visits where he tests. Usually they do multiple sessions so they can see they child over time, not just one one good or bad day. It also breaks up what can be very long testing (4-6 hours). You usually get a follow-up meeting about 2 weeks later where the np talks through everything with you and a written report sometime after that. Some neuropsychs do school observation, so you're welcome to take in video of your child doing his work to sub for that.

 

When we did ours, all the neuropsychs I called were very agreeable and returned my calls and gave me a bit of time to talk with them. I quizzed them on their basic procedure, cost, whether they took insurance, length of their write-ups, what they specialize in, basically anything that seemed relevant.

 

If you're having a hard time finding someone you feel confident in, you might look for your state dyslexia association. Google neuropsychologist dyslexia and your state or the largest city within a reasonable drive and see what pops up. It turned out that the two neuropsychs popular in our state capital are also on the state dyslexia association board and on a lot of referral lists for peds that I found through googling online. So just do a bit of calling and see what you can find that meets your needs.

 

While you're waiting to get in (because usually there's a 1-3 month wait), go ahead and get his eyes checked by a developmental optometrist. It's just one of those good things to eliminate as a concern. Just do a regular appointment ($60-100), but do it with the developmental optometrist, not a regular one. There are some vision things that can affect schoolwork, and the dev. optometrist will screen for them in that regular appointment. You find one through COVD.org. You can usually get in within 1-3 weeks, and it's just one of those easy things to take care of while you wait for the neuropsych.

 

BTW, I suggest you head on over to the SN board. They don't bite, and you'd find the threads there helpful. :)

[8filltheheart]

Yes I know his writing is terrible. Really until last year, reading was our focus, and I'll admit that last year I was just so glad that he was reading that I probably didn't push the writing like I should have, but spelling (he did SWO A, B, and C just filling out the pages because other wise it was a crying fight everyday) I just couldn't deal with.

 

I really feel like I did about his reading that the jump to writing and having any kind of readable spelling will come, it is just going to take longer then most.

 

We do take standardized tests (where of course you don't do much writing) and last spring when he was almost 11, and had only been what I would call reading for a little more then a year he took the ITBS.

 

He got 71 for total reading score and 67 for a total math score. The year before, I can't remember for sure what he got, but I think his reading was in the 40's and his math was in the 70's.

 

There are some subjects he does great in if he doesn't have to write. The boys are both doing R&S 6 (after only having done FLL 3 a coulple years earlier) and he has a better grasp of grammar then his brother. Of course if he has to write much it is a battle and when he diagrams he hardly every writes more then the first letter, but he can diagram well.

 

Okay, feeling really stupid here- I start by making him an appointment at the doctors? Or do I find a neuropychologist first (I am pretty sure there probably isn't one in our whole county)?

 

.

 

I have 2 dyslexic sons, 1 far more severe than the other. My 11th grader didn't start reading on grade level until 4th grade, so I understand somewhat where you are coming from. However, writing and spelling are not just going to come. They are only going to be mastered w/a lot of hard work and effort. (even now as an 11th grader he is still studying spelling. It has improved dramatically, but his spelling is still a challenge. He knows he needs to write with a dictionary near by.

 

Apples and Pears spelling from Sound Foundations is a good spelling program for dyslexics. You can preview complete samples online.

 

For writing, I would focus on paragraph development as well as learning to take notes from reading. Learning to discern key pts from general info is an important middle school skill. (Outlining from reading via the WTM method might be a good approach.)

 

As far as testing, you do not have to see a neuropsy, testing can be done by a psy.

Edited October 2, 2012 by 8FillTheHeart

[placeofgrace]

Another mom here who "held back" their child. I did it in 4th grade. I pulled my ds out of public school after 2nd grade. I homeschooled for 3rd grade. He went to a private school for a year. It was a huge waste of time, so when I brought him home the next year, I explained to him that he was doing 4th grade over. I also have kept him back at church etc. Socially he is just not ready. He has a late April bday. He is 12, but in the 6th grade. It's just where he fits.

[Mallory]

So this is what's going on-

We've got an appointment for the Developmental Optometrist on Thurs. (actually both of the boys do, almost everyone one in our family gets glasses about12 or 13, and since I am going to drive all the way in there, they can both get looked at). And our insurance will cover that with just a co-pay!

 

I talked to our family doctor tonight (he is the soccer coach) and he said to call the office tomorrow and they would give me the numbers of the testing places they recommend. They are out of Little Rock, but it sounds like they have a center closer. I am not sure if they are neuropsychologists or not, but at least I have somewhere to start. He sure didn't discourage me in any way, and he did ask about our insurance, but it sounds like that will be okay too.

 

I also talked to the middle school principal (after a big run around) and he was not very helpful. He secretary thought I was crazy- because they never do partial enrollments, but at least he seemed to know of the law (of course he didn't call back for 4 hours, so maybe he had time to ask someone else).

 

Thank you all, while I am still thinking of holding him back, I am glad to be doing something beside just fighting about spelling.

[PeterPan]

Good for you! I think by the time you get the results from the evals, you'll have your answer on the holding back. The psychs do achievement testing, IQ testing, and more specialized testing (dyslexia, that sort of thing), and then they read the tea leaves. So you'll mix your gut and their sense and the data and be pretty confident of your best path forward.

 

Well glad you're seeing so many doors open up so quickly. That's awesome! :)

[Grantmom]

Also, if this isn't until next year, you have time. A lot can change in a year. I agree with go with what your instinct is telling you. But I would also ask him where he feels most comfortable. If all of his friends are in 5th grade, that is probably where he wants to be. You don't have to tell him you are "holding him back" a year. He can take an art class with the 6th graders next year and still be "in 7th grade" at home if that is where he wants to be. I don't put an emphasis on what grade the kids are in here. If they want to be able to say what grade they are in when people ask, I explain to them how the schools are set up and what grade they would be in. But I also explain that in different school systems (even within our state) they would potentially be in different grades, so honestly it doesn't matter and you can say you're in whatever grade you want. Both of my boys have summer birthdays.

 

My oldest would technically be in 8th grade this year if he had gone to public school, but with a very late summer birthday, he would have been 4 years old when he started kindergarten. And it just seems like most people around here, especially with boys, did not start their child in school by that cutoff when they have Aug/Sept birthdays. All of his friends, with the exception of one, are in 7th grade, and most of them are very close to his age, by literally just a few months.