zookeeper Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 Why do they not see that the things they say are manipulative? "If you don't do what I want, then you're not the person I thought you were" doesn't make me want to do things your way any more than I did before you said it. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassy Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 Probably because most of the rest of us are decent people and they get away with it often enough to make it worth it. :grouphug: You have my sympathies. I've become a less decent person in recent years, a much more stubborn person, and I don't let the manipulative people in my life get away with it. It's funny, they now try it on much less often :tongue_smilie:. Hope it gets better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zebra Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 I think it's a last ditch effort, a guilt trip to make you cave. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 Because they are the same people that as kids told their mom's they would hold their breath and mom caved. It has been a lifetime of getting their way by being jerks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zookeeper Posted August 20, 2012 Author Share Posted August 20, 2012 Or they learned it from their mother. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanvan Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 Why do they not see that the things they say are manipulative? "If you don't do what I want, then you're not the person I thought you were" doesn't make me want to do things your way any more than I did before you said it. :glare: Really? It always worked before on everyone else..... I'm right there with you. It actually makes me less likely to do whatever the person is asking. It also makes me likely to call them out on their manipulation. Like...."if you were really the friend I thought you were, you would not put me in this position." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KristenR Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 How sad is it that when I read the title of this post I assumed it would have something to do with cuisenaire rods? :tongue_smilie: LOL I came in thinking, "OH I'm so a manipulatives person." Then I read it and thought "OOOPS. Never mind. No I'm not." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassy Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 How sad is it that when I read the title of this post I assumed it would have something to do with cuisenaire rods? :tongue_smilie: LOLI came in thinking, "OH I'm so a manipulatives person." Then I read it and thought "OOOPS. Never mind. No I'm not." :lol: I don't think that's sad at all, it's much healthier than the first thoughts that came into my head when I read it ;). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leanna Tomlinson Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 (edited) Why do they not see that the things they say are manipulative? "If you don't do what I want, then you're not the person I thought you were" doesn't make me want to do things your way any more than I did before you said it. :glare: Manipulative people have two big problems at the same time: 1) They lack the ability to see things from another person's point of view. 2) They think they are entitled to what they want......always. Edited August 20, 2012 by Leanna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bang!Zoom! Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 Totally read this as a math question post from the title.:lol: I think I'm brainwashed. Carry on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindergretta Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 My mother is an extremely manipulative person. But, she knows she is and refuses to stop. I had a blow up with her over it some 15 years ago (or more!) and she said, "How else am I supposed to get what I want?" :001_huh: I am hyper about being manipulated. I am so "afraid" of it that I see it where it may not actually be present, due to the level of manipulation with which I was brought up. ::sigh:: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 Does the inability to see things from another person's point of view lead to more manipulativeness? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zookeeper Posted August 21, 2012 Author Share Posted August 21, 2012 Good question. Hmmm... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leanna Tomlinson Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 Does the inability to see things from another person's point of view lead to more manipulativeness? In my experience......yes! I have had two people in my life that try to manipulate others on a regular basis. They lack the ability to see what manipulation feels like on the other side. And they think everyone else is too stupid to figure out their plan. When they are not trying to manipulate me, they will openly discuss discuss their manipulation strategies as if it's OK to manipulate people. They truly believe the manipulated person will never be able to discern what is going on. These two people don't even know each other, and it amazes me how much they are alike in this. I have had to explain other peoples points of view to them when they are hatching one of their self-centered plots, and they act stunned. Like, "I don't think like my plan is inconsiderate, selfish, inconvenient, or whatever! How could someone else think differently!" They kind of remind me of preschoolers who think, "As long as I'm hiding in the corner with my eyes closed, then no one can see me." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 Hmmm, I only ask because I have a younger family member who does not seem manipulative yet but she does not have the ability to see from someone else's point of view so just yesterday looking at this thread I wonder how this will develop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zebra Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 My mother is an extremely manipulative person. But, she knows she is and refuses to stop. I had a blow up with her over it some 15 years ago (or more!) and she said, "How else am I supposed to get what I want?" :001_huh: I am hyper about being manipulated. I am so "afraid" of it that I see it where it may not actually be present, due to the level of manipulation with which I was brought up. ::sigh:: I completely understand this! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILiveInFlipFlops Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 Hmmm, I only ask because I have a younger family member who does not seem manipulative yet but she does not have the ability to see from someone else's point of view so just yesterday looking at this thread I wonder how this will develop. I don't think they automatically go hand in hand. But if a person is manipulative, then yes, I agree completely with Leanna's assessment. IME, someone who can't see things from another's POV is often just self-centered--only their needs are visible to them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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