Is this unreasonable?

[Mom-ninja.]

To tell an 11.5 yr old to write his 6-7 sentence summary and expect it to do be finished 20 minutes later? Or at least mostly done?

 

After giving the assignment I walked away. I put some laundry into the washer and dryer, I washed the breakfast dishes, I brushed my teeth, and then went back upstairs.

 

My 11 yr old had written maybe 5 words. It wasn't that he didn't know what to write. He had already given me his narration. He just had to write it down. I asked him what he had been doing the past 20 minutes. He said, "Nothing, I was watching him play cars."

 

So he spent 20 minutes watching his 3 yr old brother play cars on the floor instead of doing his writing.

 

Please tell me how to get this child do to his work without me having to SIT THERE PRODDING him the whole time. :mad:

[busymotherof4]

I have no help for you. My 11 year old delays school work like crazy. Day dreaming, bathroom trips, snacks, getting up for who knows what reason. watching or interacting with his younger brother. Yup we can take a 15 min assignment and make it take well over an hour. Here is hoping somebody has a solution

[elegantlion]

It depends on the child. Have you listened to SWB's lectures on writing, "A Plan for writing". For some children it is very difficult to write down what they can easily express verbally.

 

My son would freeze when it came to writing. He's very articulate, comprehends well, but could not get a word on the page, even if I told him to write down what he just said.

 

WWS has been a big help to us in that area. For some kids, it's not that they're being difficult, it is just a difficult task.

 

No, at 11 my son could have done that task in 20 minutes.

[Mandylubug]

well, my son is younger, just turning 10 but say for history I ask him to summarize what we just learned with SOTW. He will tell me a few things, I will ask questions and he will answer. I will then write those "bullet points" on the dry erase board. They aren't complete sentences. I then ask him to write his summary. Any words that he isn't sure how to spell, I will write them to the side as well and add those to his spelling list. We always verbally summarize before I ask them to write it. Works for us.

[celticmom]

My dd7 does Kumon work as part of her homeschooling so she is used to being timed. If she starts major dawdling with anything else including other schoolwork and eating I put her "on the clock".

[AK_Mom4]

So he spent 20 minutes watching his 3 yr old brother play cars on the floor instead of doing his writing.

 

Please tell me how to get this child do to his work without me having to SIT THERE PRODDING him the whole time. :mad:

 

Your expectations are reasonable. His behavior is normal and age-appropriate. Seriously, wouldn't YOU rather watch the 3yo play with the cars?

 

What works for us is for DD11 to work in the same room where I am and for her to have specific short-term goals. "Finish this writing assignment then you can go practice piano". "Do your math and history, then you can eat lunch." Also, what she doesn't finish in a reasonable amount of time (due to her brain wandering off like a butterfly on a sunny day) is work that she has to finish before she gets free time. That usually keeps her mostly motivated.

 

But I TOTALLY hear you on this one! There are days when the dawdling drives me crazy too!

[Mom-ninja.]

It depends on the child. Have you listened to SWB's lectures on writing, "A Plan for writing". For some children it is very difficult to write down what they can easily express verbally.

 

My son would freeze when it came to writing. He's very articulate, comprehends well, but could not get a word on the page, even if I told him to write down what he just said.

 

WWS has been a big help to us in that area. For some kids, it's not that they're being difficult, it is just a difficult task.

 

No, at 11 my son could have done that task in 20 minutes.

 

We are at the end of WWE 4. Yes, I've listened to SWB lecture. My ds has come a long way with writing. It's due to WWE.

 

The thing is if I'm sitting there at the desk watching him, and saying every few minutes, "Okay, good. Keep going," he gets it done. It's when I walk away to do something like tend to my 3 yr old, do a quick chore, go to the bathroom, etc. he will sit just there and daydream.

[Annie N]

well, my son is younger, just turning 10 but say for history I ask him to summarize what we just learned with SOTW. He will tell me a few things, I will ask questions and he will answer. I will then write those "bullet points" on the dry erase board. They aren't complete sentences. I then ask him to write his summary. Any words that he isn't sure how to spell, I will write them to the side as well and add those to his spelling list. We always verbally summarize before I ask them to write it. Works for us.

 

This is much more what I have done with my children, discussing, writing points which they bring up on the dry-erase board, then having them write more. What I have learned, and do not always remember, is that if they have trouble doing something, it helps to break it down into smaller steps and then to help them through each step.

 

And, boys are soooooo like that! I remember when mine would take 45 minutes to put on his shoes!!!! But now he is well-organized and really gets things done, at 17. So you only have a few more years to go!

[elegantlion]

We are at the end of WWE 4. Yes, I've listened to SWB lecture. My ds has come a long way with writing. It's due to WWE.

 

The thing is if I'm sitting there at the desk watching him, and saying every few minutes, "Okay, good. Keep going," he gets it done. It's when I walk away to do something like tend to my 3 yr old, do a quick chore, go to the bathroom, etc. he will sit just there and daydream.

 

Yeah, that may be more the 11 thing then. :grouphug:

[Mom-ninja.]

We always verbally summarize before I ask them to write it. Works for us.

 

We do the same ala WWE.

 

 

 

Your expectations are reasonable. His behavior is normal and age-appropriate. Seriously, wouldn't YOU rather watch the 3yo play with the cars?

 

What works for us is for DD11 to work in the same room where I am and for her to have specific short-term goals. "Finish this writing assignment then you can go practice piano". "Do your math and history, then you can eat lunch." Also, what she doesn't finish in a reasonable amount of time (due to her brain wandering off like a butterfly on a sunny day) is work that she has to finish before she gets free time. That usually keeps her mostly motivated.

 

But I TOTALLY hear you on this one! There are days when the dawdling drives me crazy too!

 

Okay, this made me laugh. Yes, I guess I would rather do other things than my work.

 

It's just so frustrating to try and get work done with the dawdling dawdling dawdling. It's a wonder we get any lessons done really.

 

The other day I was at my dad's and it was time to leave. I kept telling the boys to get in the van. I'd get two in and one would be in the bathroom. Then that one would get in the van but another one would be out and doing something. When that one got in the van yet another one would have wandered off again to get something or do something. After about 10 minutes me dad looked at me and said, "It's like trying to herd cats."

 

:lol:

[Tammyla]

Classroom teachers have the same problem...

 

So many students need you to watch them...You know the joke...She's got eyes in the back of her head:glare:.

 

We are at the end of WWE 4. Yes, I've listened to SWB lecture. My ds has come a long way with writing. It's due to WWE.

 

The thing is if I'm sitting there at the desk watching him, and saying every few minutes, "Okay, good. Keep going," he gets it done. It's when I walk away to do something like tend to my 3 yr old, do a quick chore, go to the bathroom, etc. he will sit just there and daydream.

[Mom-ninja.]

Note to self: an 11 yr old boy does not yet have enough self discipline or motivation to keep himself on track with lessons without my constant assistance.

 

 

So when does it happen?

 

I have yet to listen to SWB's lecture on how to get kids to work independently. I need to.

[katilac]

Can you separate the two boys? If I were trying to write, I would be very distracted by a preschooler playing cars! I'm in my 40s, writing is one of my jobs, and I've been doing it for a very long time - and it's very, very easy to be distracted. For most people, good writing takes concentration. When I'm on deadline, my kids know not to talk to me :D, b/c what would take me 10 minutes to finish if I can concentrate takes an hour to finish if I get interupted a couple of times.

 

It doesn't matter if the distractions or interuptions are very brief. What takes time is 'getting into the zone.' Two distractions might only equal 30 seconds each, but then it's going to take a solid five minutes, each time, to return to productivy. So that one minute actually costs ten minutes.

 

And the lecture on independent working is very much worth a listen.

[Deniseibase]

I have yet to listen to SWB's lecture on how to get kids to work independently. I need to.

 

I second SWB's lecture on getting kids to work independently. She has GREAT ideas. That lecture made the difference between my going insane and not going insane last year with my then 11 year old!!! :lol: