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So that's how it feels to set boundaries and have them respected...


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I am a pleaser. I always try to make people happy, make people like me. I always end up being hurt and used. Tonight I stopped trying to be liked by someone who has managed to hurt me repeatedly. I laid it all out and told them how I really felt. Amazingly, this person didn't try to defend or excuse what they'd done. They apologized :001_huh: didn't see that one coming. This is not the norm from this person or their family. Anyway, I feel so much better for having been upfront about how they've affected me and my children. Unfortunately, I tend to believe once a (people) user always a user, so I may be in this position again, but at least I know I can do it without vomiting.

 

This is the second person I've had the lay it all out talk with, the first didn't go so well. I was told its my fault for getting my feelings hurt. It was somewhat refreshing to have someone actually look at what they'd done and say "Oh wow, yeah that was bad. Sorry."

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I will second the good for you! I am amazed that someone who had repeatedly done hurtful things owned up so quickly, that is a surprise!

 

Well the things they had done to hurt me came from someone elses's lies. I had tried to communicate this before but the person didn't want to believe this other person was capable of lying. I just didn't have the energy to fight stupidity, the lies were very obvious (I thought.) However, they were attempting to back me into a corner and I gave them the full, unedited version of what is really happening. They were absolutely shocked. I didn't expect them to believe me, but I wasn't going to stay quiet any longer. I'm sure there will be backlash, when this person confronts the liar. Then I get to set boundaries again with someone else, the liar, and that person does not respect me. Obviously. But I feel much less bottled up and that has to be good.

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