Need thoughts and ideas, Becoming a nanny while homeschooling my own children

[wicki859]

Hello,

I am not terribly active on this board, but I am frequently searching for info and others experience. Today, I have a specific issue I am looking for advice, experience, and thoughts on. I have been homeschooling my children for eight years. My oldest will be entering eleventh grade next year. My younger child is eight and has Asperger Syndrome. We are a single income family, with my husband working a full time job, a part time job, and going to school online to finish his bachelors degree in accounting. He is working himself to death without getting ahead. We are barely staying afloat, and we do not live extravagant lives by any stretch of the imagination. I'd like to think we are fairly frugal.

 

Recently, I have been hearing my husband revisit the idea of me finding a means of income to supplement what he brings in. Our house is in desperate need of repairs and we really don't have anywhere else to pull money from. I do not have a degree. I had always waitressed, and am a licensed hairdresser. Neither are lucrative, and both require too much time away from the kids to home school them. My fear is being gone every weekend, and holidays.

 

Well, the other day an opportunity presented itself to me. A family that we are very close to, we are basically like family, is expecting their second child. Their oldest is 5 and entering kindergarten in the fall. Their childcare provider is closing before the baby is due. They are looking for someone to take over care of the baby, as well as provide before and after school care for their son. The position would be in their home.

 

It would provide a nice supplement to our income, and I would be able to have my children there with me. That would mean I would have to homeschool my son in their home. My daughter could also stay home most days if she'd prefer since she is so much older and very much self directed anyway.

 

Basically, (Ideally), my day would look like this:

 

7:30 arrive at their home. (a 30 minute drive)

7:30-12:00 I'd have all three children. We'd have breakfast and some down time. During this time I would have story time, and do any activity based subjects, such as science experiments, crafts/activities related to history. I think it would be good to do activities that include all of the children while I have their son home from school.

12:00 put their son on the bus. Then I would try to have the baby nap during this time, and complete lessons with my son. I keep lessons short for him anyway because of the Asperger Syndrome. This works best for him.

3:30 get their son off of the bus. Have snack time and play time. Probably get dinner set up for mom, and clean up from our day.

5:00 parents arrive home, and we'd leave after a short update. (To take care of MY home.)

 

This would be Mon, Tue, Thu, and Fri until spring of next year, and then it would move to five days a week.

 

In addition to working as their nanny, I also have other responsibilities that take me out of the home on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday evenings. Those nights I am gone until 9pm.

 

Then I have to consider that I will not be home like I am now. I won't be here taking care of my house, my garden, and I won't be as available for my teen daughter who will be off to college in two short years. However, with the additional income, I will be able to help with the cost college.

 

OY!

 

I am so torn.

 

It could be such a great situation. How many moms can take their kids to work and homeschool them? Also, I should mention that the parents are very excited about me including their kids on our homeschooling adventure. The mom in particular thinks it would be fabulous for me to take them on field trips, and on our usual outings to the library and museums.

 

So, have any of you out there been in a situation like this? How has it worked out for you? What are some of your thoughts?

 

Thanks for your time!

Tina

[Mommaof5]

It sounds like it is a great opportunity, and it seems like you are leaning towards going for it but have a few areas where it makes you nervous. I have not been in such a situation, but it really sounds like it would work well. Your older daughter could also help out more around the house and maybe even come with you some days to give your younger son some of his lessons. Perhaps even for credit as a Home Economics course? I think you should go ahead on a trial basis-- let the family know you want to try this arrangement for 90 days/3 months and re-evaluate then how it is working for everyone.

 

Good luck, whatever you end up doing!

[PeterPan]

You might want to think through dropping or trimming some of those responsibilities that are keeping you out so late Mon, Tues, and Wednesdays. You're only human and that 7:30 arrival time is going to be pretty real. Are you normally up, dressed, and working by then? Your kids would have to be up and ready to go that early too. You probably ought to try it a bit and see if that's realistic and what you'd have to give up to make that happen. If your aspie sleeps at odd times or needs a lot of sleep, that might require a very early bedtime for him.

[happypamama]

I was a nanny before having my own kids, and it was long hours. It was hard to come home and still need to cook and maintain my own home. (My DH, who was going to school, helped out a lot.) If your teen doesn't mind helping, it could probably work, though there may be the usual concerns about her being home alone a lot.

 

I think your biggest issue would be working with your son if the baby doesn't nap well. That's not any more of an issue than many moms have to deal with with their own children, though.

[Cinder]

You should cross-post this on the General Forum to get a broader perspective on what you should consider with this venture. Some who post there don't visit the K-8 forum too often.

[ljswriter]

Sounds like you'll be making some adjustments (such as the best way to haul curricula and supplies back and forth), but it could be a good opportunity.

 

Keeping up with your own home (and sanity!) might mean dropping some of the "other" responsibilities for a while, though.

[Chris in VA]

I would not do it.

You would basically be living in someone else's house and expecting your ds to do so,also. I have an Aspie. He is most comfortable at home. You would also be leaving your other child for most of the day, and several evenings a week. This is a crucial point in her development, and, while it's tempting to treat her as extremely independent, she is still in need of your presence. You are asking her to parent herself 4 days a week, all day, and even at night (tho if your hubby is home, I can see that part being ok)--she will miss you, and miss out on the kind of relationship building that will be your last chance to do before she leaves forever.

 

I would find another way to make $. Could you walk dogs? (That seems to be my standard answer, LOL! :D) Honestly, you can make a good, supplemental income that way. Would $800 a month work for you? You can do that in 4 hours in the middle of the day, if you work for a service. That way you could get everyone started in the am, leave for a while with your dd in charge, and come home by 3pm, with plenty of time to finish up lessons, get dinner, relax, etc.

 

Or perhaps do childcare in your home before and after school--the need is great, and if you take 2 kids in, you can make $400 a month or more, depending on your area. You would still be available to your own kids, and have time for other things, and your Aspie would not be dislodged from his home.

 

IDK, but what I'm trying to say is that I'd strive to find something else.

 

:grouphug: It's hard.

[PeterPan]

Chris, how do you find a dog-walking service? That would be an AMAZING job for my dd!! :)

[...................]

I would not do it unless I needed the money to survive. Home repairs are nice, and sometimes necessary. But they aren't necessary for a family to survive. I would keep praying and looking. The biggest factor that concerns me is you having to be at their house. Have you offered a discount rate, but having the kids at your house instead?

 

Some other options are doing after care in your own home, and home or business cleaning. We also found being a one-car family saves a TON of money.

 

(I found dog-walking to not be worth the money at all, personally. But for a teenager, it would be a great job.)

[black_midori]

I think it sounds perfectly reasonable. It would be nice doing it at your house, of course, but do-able even at theirs.

 

I would probably bring dd with me for at least most of the week (maybe a part of each day, or 2 days a week, or something). I would even consider paying her a small amount to watch the baby while you do school with ds (not much, obviously, since this is to earn money). There's no reason she can't do her work there as well.

 

It sounds like the biggest hassle would be bus-time; I'd consider going over every morning & then running baby back to your house for the 3 hours their son is at school, then back over there to pick him up and stay. Is there any way he can get off on a bus that goes by your house instead?

 

I guess the driving around time could cause problems, since that could get expensive.

 

Have you talked with them about doing homeschool K with their son? He's only 5 - it would be pretty easy to go grab both kids & bring them to your house for the day...

[PentecostalMom]

I would not do it.

You would basically be living in someone else's house and expecting your ds to do so,also. I have an Aspie. He is most comfortable at home. You would also be leaving your other child for most of the day, and several evenings a week. This is a crucial point in her development, and, while it's tempting to treat her as extremely independent, she is still in need of your presence. You are asking her to parent herself 4 days a week, all day, and even at night (tho if your hubby is home, I can see that part being ok)--she will miss you, and miss out on the kind of relationship building that will be your last chance to do before she leaves forever.

 

I would find another way to make $. Could you walk dogs? (That seems to be my standard answer, LOL! :D) Honestly, you can make a good, supplemental income that way. Would $800 a month work for you? You can do that in 4 hours in the middle of the day, if you work for a service. That way you could get everyone started in the am, leave for a while with your dd in charge, and come home by 3pm, with plenty of time to finish up lessons, get dinner, relax, etc.

 

Or perhaps do childcare in your home before and after school--the need is great, and if you take 2 kids in, you can make $400 a month or more, depending on your area. You would still be available to your own kids, and have time for other things, and your Aspie would not be dislodged from his home.

 

IDK, but what I'm trying to say is that I'd strive to find something else.

 

:grouphug: It's hard.

 

The bolded. You cannot get this time back, it will be gone forever. I don't have any pat answers or sage advice. I just know from whence I speak, sitting here wishing for the slowing of time that is slipping through my fingers.

[lmrich]

I would bring my older dd with me at least two days if not all. If your kids can get work done on the computer with headphones, or work by themselves at home, they can find a quiet place to work at the new home. I was a nanny when my son was a baby. Yes, it was hard to help maintain their household - baby and kindy- I did dinner prep and cleaned the kids' area daily as well as did the kids' laundry. But we needed that money and work is work. I cut back on volunteer work then and on other obligations as well. In your situation I would school on the weekend to get ahead for the upcoming week. I would seriously sit down and talk to them about clear expectations, but I would not forgo just because it is hard work.

[momto2Cs]

It sounds like it is a great opportunity, and it seems like you are leaning towards going for it but have a few areas where it makes you nervous. I have not been in such a situation, but it really sounds like it would work well. Your older daughter could also help out more around the house and maybe even come with you some days to give your younger son some of his lessons. Perhaps even for credit as a Home Economics course? I think you should go ahead on a trial basis-- let the family know you want to try this arrangement for 90 days/3 months and re-evaluate then how it is working for everyone.

 

Good luck, whatever you end up doing!

 

:iagree: I think a trial would be good, for both families.

 

I know how it feels to have very little money, and to be unable to do some things that should be done. I would take this opportunity, to at least try it out, and see if it will work for you. Being able to take your kids with you to work is fantastic, and I totally think you could make that work with homeschooling.

 

Best wishes either way! Let us know what you end up doing.

[Shawndrese]

I think it sounds perfectly reasonable. It would be nice doing it at your house, of course, but do-able even at theirs.

 

I would probably bring dd with me for at least most of the week (maybe a part of each day, or 2 days a week, or something). I would even consider paying her a small amount to watch the baby while you do school with ds (not much, obviously, since this is to earn money). There's no reason she can't do her work there as well.

 

It sounds like the biggest hassle would be bus-time; I'd consider going over every morning & then running baby back to your house for the 3 hours their son is at school, then back over there to pick him up and stay. Is there any way he can get off on a bus that goes by your house instead?

 

I guess the driving around time could cause problems, since that could get expensive.

 

Have you talked with them about doing homeschool K with their son? He's only 5 - it would be pretty easy to go grab both kids & bring them to your house for the day...

 

 

:iagree: I was going to suggest the bolded :001_smile:

[wicki859]

These are all great thoughts. I have so much to think about it. A couple of things that came to mind as I read through them all are:

 

1. I would definitely have my dd come along for part of it. She does not need to have that much alone time. I agree, time is short, and she is most definitely in a very important stage of her life that I need to be and want to be involved.

 

2. Home repairs are not always the most important, but it's hard to think it's not necessary when the water is streaming down the inside of the windows above your desk. The roof is bad, the walls are bad, and the windows are shot. It's time, or we might not have a house for too many more years.

 

3. We live too far to have them over here for bus transport. We're thirty minutes away in another town.

 

4. State laws forbid homeschooling other peoples children that are not under my guardianship.

 

5. It would be an INCREDIBLY LONG and tiring day. My home and family would most likely suffer. I'm asking myself is it worth it?

 

6. Could I do it? Probably, but it would be a COMPLETE change in lifestyle for me and my kids.

 

7. Dog walking is not really an option. We live in a pretty rural area.

 

8. I'm leaning toward not doing it. I'm just torn. My children and their needs come first. I need to pray.

 

Thanks for all of your thoughts. I am looking forward to more. :)

[Incognito]

Would they be interested if you didn't do all of it? Perhaps you could commit to all afternoons, or 2 days a week complete? That might not be ideal for them, but it could be great for you and could work for them. AND then if they had two care providers it could be easier if one care provider was ill or had an emergency (so you'd fill in for eachother).

 

Doing that would absolutely exhaust me. Especially since it is in their house. But it does sound like something needs to change/happen to get your house maintained.

 

As far as offering a trial - I think that you do it or not, and if it isn't working in 3 months you revisit it with them. Almost all employment is like that. I wouldn't say it was a trial, or it makes it weird for everyone.

[justLisa]

What about if you had a part time job, just a few days a week or something and your teen watch your 8 year old? I mean if you were thinking of those 3 days when you would be gone until 9, you could find a part time job for JUST the evening portion when your DH would be home?