School while Dad is home

[mom31257]

Does anyone do school with your dh home? How do you manage the kids if they are distracted by it? My dh is laid off and going back to school for the next year or so. I don't know his schedule in the fall, but in the summer, he's going to be home by 10:45 on Tuesday and Thursdays. I'm really concerned that next year is going to be difficult for ds because he loves spending time with his daddy. I know dh will have homework and studying, too. I guess I'm just worried that it's going to be a hard transition. Any advice?

[happypamama]

I would plan to be gentle with yourselves for a few weeks, while you make the transition; schoolwork might not be the biggest priority for a while. I'd try to use the time when DH is gone as efficiently as possible, but also, maybe it would work well for DH to say, "Okay, buddy, I need to go do my work, and you need to do yours." Set up separate areas so they won't disturb each other, and maybe it'll be easier for your son if he realizes that Daddy is working too, and then maybe he'll be motivated to get his work done quickly so that he and Daddy can enjoy their free time together afterward.

 

My DH rarely works at home, but when he does, if he or the kids are going to get anything done, they need separate work spaces. If he was around a lot, we'd need to establish some ground rules (like "kids don't go in Daddy's work space during certain hours," or "Daddy does not come down to get snacks/drinks during certain hours if he wants the kids to do their work"). I'd also need to resist the temptation to call him to entertain a little one or two while I worked with the big kids. :)

[Night Elf]

Have your DH do some subjects with your son. If he's home, there is no reason he can't help. It's good bonding time, at least it is in our home.

[mom31257]

I would plan to be gentle with yourselves for a few weeks, while you make the transition; schoolwork might not be the biggest priority for a while. I'd try to use the time when DH is gone as efficiently as possible, but also, maybe it would work well for DH to say, "Okay, buddy, I need to go do my work, and you need to do yours." Set up separate areas so they won't disturb each other, and maybe it'll be easier for your son if he realizes that Daddy is working too, and then maybe he'll be motivated to get his work done quickly so that he and Daddy can enjoy their free time together afterward.

 

My DH rarely works at home, but when he does, if he or the kids are going to get anything done, they need separate work spaces. If he was around a lot, we'd need to establish some ground rules (like "kids don't go in Daddy's work space during certain hours," or "Daddy does not come down to get snacks/drinks during certain hours if he wants the kids to do their work"). I'd also need to resist the temptation to call him to entertain a little one or two while I worked with the big kids. :)

 

I don't have little ones, but I hadn't even thought about my own temptations of him being home! :001_smile: Right now ds does schoolwork in our living room that is right next to our eat-in kitchen. I might need to move him to do at least the independent stuff in his room. The Legos might be more distraction that dad, though. Separate work spaces is a good idea. At least I'll have the summer to work on it. Thanks for the advice!

[Desert Rat]

Dh was laid off for 16 months. It took us about a month to get used to schooling with him home. I finally had to be a little tough and tell dh he couldn't watch tv. Mostly dh was on the computer when the kids were in school, doing online resumes, applications, etc. Sometimes he would run errands for me.

He also did a lot of little lessons with the kids-shoe tying, working with tools, stuff like that. I handed over science to him (man, I miss that!). He did science experiments with the boys while I worked in the afternoon.

He's been back to work for over a year, but the boys still miss having him around. Today, he has the day off and I surprised them with no school this morning. We still have a tutor appointment at 1, but they are spending more time with Dad today.

[mom31257]

Have your DH do some subjects with your son. If he's home, there is no reason he can't help. It's good bonding time, at least it is in our home.

 

Great idea since dh is a history teacher, at least for 3 more days. He's always been involved somewhat with the history, but he's never done it all. It would free up more one-on-one time with dd, too.

[GoVanGogh]

I have an only child/son - a true "Dad's Little Shadow."

DH was unemployed two years ago.

 

I thought, at first, it would be grand to have DH take over a subject - such as math - but it didn't happen/work as well as planned. :tongue_smilie: (They are too much alike and ended up butting heads all.the.time.)

 

What did work:

I told DH he had to be quiet and/or out of our hair from x-time to y-time, as that was devoted to schooling.

And I told DS, "Look, Dad is going to be home for a while but we still have to do school. You will have more time to be with Dad - but not until after school is done."

I made sure they were both on the same page, as far as how and when we were doing school. It did end up working out great for us (aside from Dad not being able to teach :lol:) and I really hated when DH went back to work. (Well, glad he went back to work, but I was hoping he would find a job where he could work from home.)

 

I also tried to be extremely flexible. I wanted DH to take advantage of that 'down time' and spend as much extra time with us as possible. If he wanted to go to a movie or an amusement park, I would work around that.

 

The hardest thing for us was DH had to make a number of phone calls and our house is rather small. Even with the office door closed, we could still hear DH on the phone. At those times, I would just change subjects to something DS could do on his own so I didn't have to try and talk over DH's voice.

 

I do think DH knowing and respecting school time is key. I have several friends whose husbands work from home. Some love it, some hate it. The ones that hate it say their husbands use them as secretaries and interrupt school constantly. I wouldn't put up with that for a minute. But that is just me. ;)

[cookfamily6]

Does anyone do school with your dh home? How do you manage the kids if they are distracted by it? My dh is laid off and going back to school for the next year or so. I don't know his schedule in the fall, but in the summer, he's going to be home by 10:45 on Tuesday and Thursdays. I'm really concerned that next year is going to be difficult for ds because he loves spending time with his daddy. I know dh will have homework and studying, too. I guess I'm just worried that it's going to be a hard transition. Any advice?

My dh work schedule has him home 3-4 days a week depending on his schedule that week (it rotates) It is very hard to get anything done on those days. Since when he does work we don't see him at all...so when he is home it is hard to get the kids to do anything but play with daddy. I have to admit this last year we got a bit behind because of it so this summer we are having to make up some things while he is at work. Next year we are going to follow a better schedule and have dh help with certain subjects to be more involved :)

[Cinder]

We're fortunate to have a basement office space for dh to work in when he needs to. But the most helpful thing dh does is studies at the library. He just packs his books up and finds a table in the back where its quiet and spends 2 or 3 hours there. Dh finds he gets more done away from the distractions of home. When he's home he just thinks about all the things that need to be done here.

[mom31257]

We're fortunate to have a basement office space for dh to work in when he needs to. But the most helpful thing dh does is studies at the library. He just packs his books up and finds a table in the back where its quiet and spends 2 or 3 hours there. Dh finds he gets more done away from the distractions of home. When he's home he just thinks about all the things that need to be done here.

 

Hey, how are you? Maybe I could go to the library with the kids. They might have less distractions, too!

[LillyMama]

We're fortunate to have a basement office space for dh to work in when he needs to. But the most helpful thing dh does is studies at the library. He just packs his books up and finds a table in the back where its quiet and spends 2 or 3 hours there. Dh finds he gets more done away from the distractions of home. When he's home he just thinks about all the things that need to be done here.

 

:iagree:

 

My husband owns his own business, and has an office with a demo center, so he can work here in the basement office or at his "real" office. He almost always chooses to work there (especially since he's partners with his four best friends and they get to work together.) We're all sure this is the better fit. I was going to suggest you encourage your husband to go do his own studies and homework at the library on the way home on the days he'll be done early. You and the kids could always meet him there at lunch time, and maybe either work there a while, too, or go do lunch together. Our libraries all have outside or nearby picnic areas or parks and my kids would definitely see that as a treat.

 

I just want to say this- we're doing school today (long story) and my husband is home for Memorial Day. It's been TORTURE. I think if he was home all the time like this, we'd fight all the time. We'd also have to have some pretty serious discussions about boundaries, interruptions and honoring our schedule. I just want to say I look up to you women who do this with your husband home, without smacking him. :D

[rafiki]

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