TranquilMind Posted May 24, 2012 Share Posted May 24, 2012 Right. I would never use a bull whip on my kids, I would hope I would never have the need. BUT, I hate that good parents with strong families are totally bullied by their teens and they have no real recourse other than to unplug a video game. That's it, in a nutshell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danielle1746 Posted May 24, 2012 Share Posted May 24, 2012 Try that today and CPS would be at your door, hauling away all your kids. There is no parental authority anymore, except that granted by the child. Even the other posters here are basically saying this with all the "repair the relationship" talk. Just wanted to add another voice of agreement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted May 24, 2012 Share Posted May 24, 2012 False dichotomies all over the place. Mom doesn't have to choose between assault or enduring abuse. This should be obvious, because most sons don't abuse their mothers even though most teen boys are physically bigger and stronger than their mothers. If it took Mom's strong right arm to keep a boy in line then none of the boys would be respectful. Parents don't have to choose between being authoritarian child abusers or sissy, passive doormats. I don't whip my sons, and they don't disrespect their father or me because we have raised them with high expectations and daily diligence. This is true for many, many families all over the world. It's normal. It's parenting. Seriously. It's 2012. Surely we all know by now that there are ways to raise children that don't involve beating them up or being beat up by them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted May 24, 2012 Share Posted May 24, 2012 I would agree with almost all of this. I do think that the AP/Gentle parenting kids are often very disrespectful and self centered (more than their peers)at least as younger children, not sure about teens. Nice assertion. Do you have data to back that up? AP is a BABY style and gentle parenting is a name without an affiliation. Both represent a small minority of parents. You sound like Rosenthal who mocks the style but does not accurately portray it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted May 24, 2012 Share Posted May 24, 2012 (Bee, my posts in this thread aren't really "for" you. I have no experience in raising a stepson whose father isn't helping to keep him in line. Please ignore whoever you need to ignore, and listen to those who have BTDT, and God go with you as you travel this road.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleIzumi Posted May 24, 2012 Share Posted May 24, 2012 False dichotomies all over the place. Mom doesn't have to choose between assault or enduring abuse. This should be obvious, because most sons don't abuse their mothers even though most teen boys are physically bigger and stronger than their mothers. If it took Mom's strong right arm to keep a boy in line then none of the boys would be respectful. Parents don't have to choose between being authoritarian child abusers or sissy, passive doormats. I don't whip my sons, and they don't disrespect their father or me because we have raised them with high expectations and daily diligence. This is true for many, many families all over the world. It's normal. It's parenting. Seriously. It's 2012. Surely we all know by now that there are ways to raise children that don't involve beating them up or being beat up by them. :iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laughing lioness Posted May 24, 2012 Share Posted May 24, 2012 . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChocolateReignRemix Posted May 24, 2012 Share Posted May 24, 2012 Try that today and CPS would be at your door, hauling away all your kids. There is no parental authority anymore, except that granted by the child. Even the other posters here are basically saying this with all the "repair the relationship" talk. How dare CPS keep children from being beaten with bullwhips. Darn that nanny state! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeslieAnneLevine Posted May 24, 2012 Share Posted May 24, 2012 False dichotomies all over the place. Mom doesn't have to choose between assault or enduring abuse. This should be obvious, because most sons don't abuse their mothers even though most teen boys are physically bigger and stronger than their mothers. If it took Mom's strong right arm to keep a boy in line then none of the boys would be respectful. Parents don't have to choose between being authoritarian child abusers or sissy, passive doormats. I don't whip my sons, and they don't disrespect their father or me because we have raised them with high expectations and daily diligence. This is true for many, many families all over the world. It's normal. It's parenting. Seriously. It's 2012. Surely we all know by now that there are ways to raise children that don't involve beating them up or being beat up by them. :iagree::iagree::iagree: Absolutely. It's also sad to see "repair the relationship" advice treated with derision, like it's a load of nonsense. I'm glad that it's not the case for the OP. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ezrabean2005 Posted May 24, 2012 Share Posted May 24, 2012 I don't think it is a very good idea to compare real abuses based on abuses written about in works of fiction. OP, I've never dealt with this. I remember that my brother was very naughty (not abusive, but into D&D and starting to look at p*rn). My mom went all "tough love" on him since her religion couldn't accept those things. My precious brother was kicked out of our home by age 13 and lived under bridges until he could get emancipated and join the military at 17. Now looking at my 15 year old son, I can't imagine doing that to him. He's a child who needs a constant support. Every day and every year that means something different. Joanne's advice is very sound. Parenting is hard, and blended families are very very hard.:grouphug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted May 24, 2012 Share Posted May 24, 2012 False dichotomies all over the place. Mom doesn't have to choose between assault or enduring abuse. This should be obvious, because most sons don't abuse their mothers even though most teen boys are physically bigger and stronger than their mothers. If it took Mom's strong right arm to keep a boy in line then none of the boys would be respectful. Parents don't have to choose between being authoritarian child abusers or sissy, passive doormats. I don't whip my sons, and they don't disrespect their father or me because we have raised them with high expectations and daily diligence. This is true for many, many families all over the world. It's normal. It's parenting. Seriously. It's 2012. Surely we all know by now that there are ways to raise children that don't involve beating them up or being beat up by them. :001_wub::001_wub::001_wub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeslieAnneLevine Posted May 24, 2012 Share Posted May 24, 2012 How dare CPS keep children from being beaten with bullwhips. Darn that nanny state! It's been the government's plan all along. They want to take away our bullwhips and give us free cell phones. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ezrabean2005 Posted May 24, 2012 Share Posted May 24, 2012 It's been the government's plan all along. They want to take away our bullwhips and give us free cell phones. :lol::lol::lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrotherAtticus Posted May 24, 2012 Share Posted May 24, 2012 how has this thread not been locked yet? its turned into namecalling and generalizing. NONE OF THE PAST 4 pages are in any way helpfull. Its just people makng snide comments about anothers snide comment Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitten18 Posted May 24, 2012 Share Posted May 24, 2012 Nice assertion. Do you have data to back that up? AP is a BABY style and gentle parenting is a name without an affiliation. Both represent a small minority of parents. You sound like Rosenthal who mocks the style but does not accurately portray it. Do you mean John Rosemond? That guy makes my eye twitch.:blink: When my mom was alive she would read his most ridiculous articles to me over the phone.:001_smile: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted May 24, 2012 Share Posted May 24, 2012 Do you mean John Rosemond? That guy makes my eye twitch.:blink: When my mom was alive she would read his most ridiculous articles to me over the phone.:001_smile: Yes. Rosenthal was the name of the author I used to study for my counseling exam. Lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted May 24, 2012 Share Posted May 24, 2012 It's been the government's plan all along. They want to take away our bullwhips and give us free cell phones. ROFL! Where do I get my cellphone? :lol: I think it's time to pull out the kilt pictures. I generally read threads like this but do not comment. My oldest child is 11 right now so who knows what's coming down around the bend for us. I do have a troubled 16 year old nephew, who's the product of a broken relationship and years of latch key parenting. I feel like the ongoing troubles for some kids are years in the making when they're not just general teenage angst. I'm very sympathetic to the OP and I hope you can get your DH on board and backing you up. :grouphug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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