ma23peas Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 I am asking for any christian perspective on the use of video games. The goal is to read through the responses with my children so we can have a meaningful conversation. I do not play video games...I use Xbox for Zumba only...in the olden day I was a Mario Kart wizard! :) I also could play a mean Yoshi's story :) To me, they were a quick fun escape from the work in a day. They change. You can go to any store and see how the marketing 'evolves' from a game targeted for 5-8 year olds and then 12-16 year olds. I have three teenagers. For a year, we had no video games....it became too much for one of my children to bear....lying, not finishing school work, attitude ..all to play the game. We gave many chances, but it was not worth it. Within that year, our son showed a huge growth and maturity. We allowed him to play at friends' houses (maybe once a month at most) and felt that it had not been fair to our daughters (who never had a problem with it) to lose all their games and play time...but they were never resentful, they knew their brother had a problem and wanted wholeheartedly to help him through it. So, this past winter, we brought out the xbox and allowed it back in...partly to give his sisters a reward for being so nice, they love the dance games. So, here we are four months later, the rules are there is NO play before school work. It is starting to slip..not that he's playing before his work is done, but that he is asking to play before he has done it..I had a short chat with him and said I did not like the trend I am seeing. He, teen brain, said that I should have been happy that he chose to ask me instead of just playing it like he was going to! Ah! Gotta love teen logic! :) Because I am not affected by the draw of the 'games', I wanted other's perspectives...I have my own vices...I'll watch a Tivod episode of Judge Judy almost daily..I need that shot of "get to the point!" ...it's very mindless fun..although it did help me win my only court case against a neighbor whose dog attacked ours...:) I get that kids need a release..this kid is amazing...competitive rowing..practices 10-15 hours a week, has only made one B in his high school career...procrastinates but gets the work done...but, honestly, if I had no rules and he was left to his own desires, could easily sit and play those games for 8 hours without stopping....I firmly believe they mess with the brain...just want to get your perspective from a Christian standpoint...I look at it as more of a stumbling block/idol that needs to be put in perspective. We'll discuss it with them when there are enough viewpoints to help... My bottom line take is, have your video games...but school/responsibilities/respect always come first. (We limit them to 1 hour on school days) and on the weekends, I'm not as committed to a time frame, we're so busy that if he gets 2 hours in it's about it....but that odd day, where I just see how long he can play without stopping, honestly, at 3 hours I make him get off) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 YOu really just need to find what works for YOU and your family. We have friends who have said no video games M-Thur. Then the kids have Friday evening-Sun evening to play. Other friends say no games before school work is done. We have a "no electronics until 5pm" rule, but we too have been slipping and I need to get back on track (we had a death in the family, then my parents visited, etc....we are quite out of our schedule.) Along with that no electronics until 5pm rule was the stipulation that it was ONLY if all chores and schoolwork were finished. Dawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 We've done several things with video games, depending on what worked for our family at the time. Right now, the little boys get one hour a day of video games, which includes any time playing on the computer. All they have is a gameboy advance and a computer. We used to have a Wii, but it broke and we didn't replace it. We don't have a system that hooks up to the tv anymore. We have discovered that some video game systems aggravate Zee's transient tic disorder. By which I mean, if he plays Wii at someone else's house, his tics get worse. Sometimes, when they're sick or something, daddy or I will give them extra screen time. And if that's been happening a lot, we will declare a 'no video game' day randomly. Basically, we don't want them getting addicted to video games. Moose is really into playing Kid's Pix (a kid's art software) on the computer for his screen time. I love that, because it's not a game, it's just an art software, and he's very creative with it. Zee shows the tendancy to possibly become addicted. He asked for a Nintendo DS for his birthday, but dh and I decided we didn't want to do that, at least not yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jan in SC Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 How old is this child? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ma23peas Posted May 21, 2012 Author Share Posted May 21, 2012 Jan, the one with the problem is 16..my other two are 13 and 14... In addition to just the 'play time', I have a question about content... should have mentioned it above..we have evolved from the Mario Kart to Halo, Gears of War and Skyrim (both rated M)..husband has turned off the language on the ones that had that stuff..but mostly it's violence stuff... For instance, on Skyrim...my son told my daughter to kill a cow that she would receive something..in reality the 'village' people turned on her and continued to try to kill her character (of couse, ds knew this..just thought it would be 'funny')...they laugh about it now..but I (non-gamer) am bothered by the content...sure, I abolished ghosts and critters by jumping on their heads with Mario or Yoshi..but killing zombies and a game like Skyrim where you can actually kill 'people' bothers me. Just wanted other's perspectives. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mytwomonkeys Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 (edited) video games were getting out of control here, especially the DSi and pokemon (my son is only 8). we thought about getting rid of it completely, but our compromise was to have the DSi available on the weekends only. other than that, we keep his DSi on top of the fridge. it's been this way for quite a while now & it has made a huge difference in my son. what's crazy, is some weekends he doesn't even touch his DSi now, it's sort of lost it's luster i guess. i'm not anti media or video games at all, but with my son especially, certain things can really consume him. self regulation isn't a realistic option, so we've set boundaries. i'm good with that. ETA - with the age of your children, could you include them in the game plan? they could help decide what is fair and you could find a happy compromise?? Edited May 21, 2012 by mytwomonkeys Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tntgoodwin Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 Like anything, a video game can become and idol, and/or a stumbling block. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ma23peas Posted May 21, 2012 Author Share Posted May 21, 2012 Like anything, a video game can become and idol, and/or a stumbling block. Yes! But do you remove it and not allow it or do you give them the opportunity to learn how to overcome and identify potential idols? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KS_ Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 Dh and I play World of Warcraft, and have for several years (6 or 7) and I held out for a long time before letting our dc play (or even watch us play, because ds especially, has a tendency to get obsessive about things). We started letting them play in the last year, and they played Lego Universe before that, but all on the condition schoolwork was finished and they were taking care of their responsibilities (along with getting off the computer when asked, if needed). We also did a trial period of World of Warcraft only on the weekends, to see if it created problems with either of them in behavior/attitude. They have a set number of hours they can play a week (of whatever computer game they choose that we have), and are allowed to budget those hours as they want. But dh and I (I think, at least!) set good guidelines and examples on where gaming fits in our life - neither one of us puts it above our responsibilities and it's not an obsession with either of us. We would nix any gaming that proved problematic for them - if they were developing bad habits/attitude issues/not wanting to do anything else besides play computer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peaceful Isle Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 We have a Wii, kindle fire and ipad that my kiddos play on. My son has a ds. We are a pretty conservative Christian family. I think moderation is the key. There was a time when I saw the kids more interested in playing, than in doing schoolwork or chores etc. It was like an obsession and it was all they thought about. Kinda the "get the work done quickly do we can play" attitude. :glare: And the work, whether school or chores, were done rushed, or sloppily. I then took it away from them for a week or so, and then gradually let them have games back into their lives. Now, we play as a treat. Maybe two nights a week we will play games ( lego star wars. mario, and such) and I will let my kids play their ds, kindle, ipad etc on long car rides. I also let them play on lazy days, or sometimes after school work, but it is not a norm. It took a while for them to get used to the limited time, but now they know the limits. It is hard, because them playing games, gave me a break to get stuff done. Now I just tell them to play outside, read etc. It is still hard, but I know it is best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tntgoodwin Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 Yes! But do you remove it and not allow it or do you give them the opportunity to learn how to overcome and identify potential idols? I think you have to limit it, until they are mature enough to limit themselves. I wouldn't say remove it altogether, but perhaps have some frank conversations about their priorities, and how they use their time should glorify God. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ma23peas Posted May 21, 2012 Author Share Posted May 21, 2012 I think you have to limit it, until they are mature enough to limit themselves. I wouldn't say remove it altogether, but perhaps have some frank conversations about their priorities, and how they use their time should glorify God. Thank you! Great points being made, will report back how the pow wow goes! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 I do not have a teen or boys. I do believe that boys are more attracted to video games than girls are though. My sister plays Halo and the likes and I really don't care for it. I don't like any game where you kill an actual "person" and you can see the blood and such. I'm fine with Mario games where you stomp on their heads and they just fall over. My girls love the Skylanders game...you don't die on there, you just "rest." As far as time constraints, I'm a bit at a loss over this as well. My girls both have iPod Touches. They have had them for three years, but are now getting to the point where I need to put some restrictions on their time usage. They watch downloaded TV shows, use Netflix, play games, take photos, make collages, listen to music, take videos, and they do even play some educational games as well. But it is becoming a bit obsessive and I'm trying to find a balance that works for us. So I'll be watching this thread closely. I do think that video games can "do things" to the brain. They are addictive and I've heard of husbands who spend all night on a video game while their wives tend to everything else. I wouldn't want my child to end up like that. There's a fine balance somewhere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I talk to the trees Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 Perhaps I'm being naive or simplistic, but we treat video games like any other form of entertainment. If the game has adult content, inappropriate language, or lifelike violence, we just don't allow it in our home. The same goes for movies. Dd (almost 12) knows exactly how we feel about these things, and why. I think the "why" is the important element here. (Example: Some video games make violence and bloodshed seem "okay" or give a person nightmares.) We are also trying to get dd to understand that too much inactive screen time (movies, games, computer) can lead to health problems. We have a Wii, but have only "get off your behind" games like Wii Fit, Wii Ski, My Fitness Coach, etc... with one exception-Endless Ocean. Ultimately, they'll have to make their own choices about these things, but the rules and example you have set are good! I think you should trust your dc to make the right choices. And if your ds did spend a whole day or even a whole weekend playing one silly game, it might just get the "itch" out of his system, and he'd be so sick to death of it that he wouldn't touch it again for well over a decade. Not that I'd know anything about that. <cough, cough> Colonization<cough, cough> senior year of college<cough, cough>;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ma23peas Posted May 21, 2012 Author Share Posted May 21, 2012 And if your ds did spend a whole day or even a whole weekend playing one silly game, it might just get the "itch" out of his system, and he'd be so sick to death of it that he wouldn't touch it again for well over a decade. Not that I'd know anything about that. <cough, cough> Colonization<cough, cough> senior year of college<cough, cough>;) You bring up a good point! I was in nursery duty with another younger mom. She was saying that video games almost ended her relationship with husband. They had dated in college and he and his buddies would hold 24 hour 4 player marathons..skipping classes, missing a date with her...hence the misstep. When he came to pick up their child, I asked him thinking back if video games were a good idea...he thought about it and said, yes, it was harmless fun. I guess I just disagree..I am up there on honoring God with your actions and not being idle...24 hours to skip classes, blow off your girlfriend do not align well with that. My son will most likely go away to college, he has two years left, honestly, he could struggle with the freedom of play over commitments... You all raise some good points..in our communities, the three games I mentioned are all played at this age...tough call.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bookfiend Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 Boys Adrift: The Five Factors Driving the Growing Epidemic of Unmotivated Boys and Underachieving Young Men by Leonard Sax This book has a few very interesting chapters on the dynamics between video games usage and boy brains. He sites several research studies, and I think you would find it useful to read/discuss together with your son. It totally changed how my husband viewed videogame usage in our home and strongly influenced our approach today. This author also wrote "Why gender matters." Another fascinating read. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ma23peas Posted May 21, 2012 Author Share Posted May 21, 2012 Boys Adrift: The Five Factors Driving the Growing Epidemic of Unmotivated Boys and Underachieving Young Men by Leonard Sax This book has a few very interesting chapters on the dynamics between video games usage and boy brains. He sites several research studies, and I think you would find it useful to read/discuss together with your son. It totally changed how my husband viewed videogame usage in our home and strongly influenced our approach today. This author also wrote "Why gender matters." Another fascinating read. Thanks a load! Will send this to dh! :) He knows how to load them on to our readers! Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tntgoodwin Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 How'd the conversations go? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.