Have gone from hating schedules to loving them?

[joannqn]

Tell me about your switch.

 

There are days and times where I really wish we followed a schedule. I know my DS10 would do better with a schedule. DS5 would probably benefit from one. DD2 hasn't outgrown her need for a nap, but we tend to be out and about when she needs it (my older kids did well just falling asleep in a stroller...she doesn't).

 

But a schedule feels like a prison to me. A schedule tells me what we have to do when. It feels like we cannot deviate from the schedule. I feel like I have one of three options:

 

1) If there's an activity, homeschool meetup, park day, etc. we'd like to go to, we can't because it isn't in the schedule

 

2) I can schedule the fun stuff but then we are limited to things that are scheduled to that time. Unfortunately, activities tend to be scheduled at all times on all days, not just the day and time I might schedule our fun time.

 

3) Be flexible and allow us to deviate from the schedule to do fun stuff. This doesn't work either because I'm apt to deviate from the schedule daily.

 

Also, I have trouble when we get "behind" because we woke up late, something took longer than expected, or I got distracted. I don't know how to catch up and end up stressed and yelling at the kids. I'm MUCH more uptight, stressed, and likely to yell at the kids when trying to follow a schedule. It isn't pretty.

 

I even bought MOTH and created one of their pretty little schedules. It lasted about a week before I ripped the thing off the wall because DS10 (then 7 or 8) kept getting on me if I was even a minute behind schedule. "Mom, the schedule says math started at 10am and it is now 10:01am."

 

So, were you like me and you overcame it and now lead a blissful life of routine that allows you to still have fun? How?

[Amy in NH]

I tried a schedule a LONG time ago, but ran into the same problems you posted. Now we follow a routine, which I implement as a schedule without the rigid time-frame attached.

[edeemarie]

I have found it best to schedule bigger blocks of time and not be so specific. For example, from 9-11 we make sure breakfast is cleaned up, do morning chores, and do school work (they have a chart to check off the things that need done each day). The block from 11-1 includes lunch and continuing school work. 1-3 includes quiet time (resting and reading) and picking a monthly chore from our chore chart to complete. If they finish early they get free time. At our house I find we need structure but a strict schedule is too confining. I get too stressed out with specific time frames, because inevitably, things don't get done in time.

[joannqn]

We leave to do things probably 4-5 days a week, sometimes more, now that we're done with school. But even during the school year, I'm pretty quick to drop everything to do a field trip or meet with others.

 

Would you just write out a routine that you just do when you are home, whenever that happens to be? Do you do as much as you can and then pick up where you left off when you get home? What if you don't have time to follow the routine and get crucial things done before you leave? Would you just skip chores and eat breakfast so you can leave and pick up and do the chores when you get back? What if you missed something that no longer makes sense to do when you get back or you don't have time to do anymore; do you just skip it?

[intp4yhwh]

Schedules just don't work for some people. Period. I know some will disagree, but oh well. They are usually people who do do well with them - and they generally out-number those of us who don't.

 

For years and years I tried over and over to work within a schedule, trying so very many variations along the way. Nothing worked, no matter how hard and long I tried. Then a few years ago I learned a lot about different personality types ... and finally realized that there's nothing 'wrong' with me just because I'm not the type to follow schedules.

 

What does work for me: lists of what needs done by when. Make a list of what must be done each day - and place the items in order of importance. I don't know any homeschool mom who doesn't try to do more than is possible in a day, so there will almost always be things on your list that won't get done. Don't sweat it - tomorrow's another day. :001_smile:

 

Would you just write out a routine that you just do when you are home, whenever that happens to be?

Depends what you're comfortable with!

 

 

Do you do as much as you can and then pick up where you left off when you get home?

If I know I'm going to be gone for part of the day, I try to get the most important things done before I go. (We're rural, so I'm home most days, though.)

 

What if you don't have time to follow the routine and get crucial things done before you leave? Would you just skip chores and eat breakfast so you can leave and pick up and do the chores when you get back?

Depends on the chores. Animals need fed regardless, even if it means we have to get up extra early. Dishes, on the other hand, can wait till you get home. :001_smile:

 

What if you missed something that no longer makes sense to do when you get back or you don't have time to do anymore; do you just skip it?

Well, if it no longer makes sense, why do it? :001_smile:

 

Don't beat yourself up about it - really. Sure, people who are stressed without schedules have certain strengths we don't have ... but those of us who are stressed when trying to stay on a schedule have other strengths.

[MelAR05]

Tell me about your switch.

 

There are days and times where I really wish we followed a schedule. I know my DS10 would do better with a schedule. DS5 would probably benefit from one. DD2 hasn't outgrown her need for a nap, but we tend to be out and about when she needs it (my older kids did well just falling asleep in a stroller...she doesn't).

 

But a schedule feels like a prison to me. A schedule tells me what we have to do when. It feels like we cannot deviate from the schedule. I feel like I have one of three options:

 

1) If there's an activity, homeschool meetup, park day, etc. we'd like to go to, we can't because it isn't in the schedule

 

2) I can schedule the fun stuff but then we are limited to things that are scheduled to that time. Unfortunately, activities tend to be scheduled at all times on all days, not just the day and time I might schedule our fun time.

 

3) Be flexible and allow us to deviate from the schedule to do fun stuff. This doesn't work either because I'm apt to deviate from the schedule daily.

 

Also, I have trouble when we get "behind" because we woke up late, something took longer than expected, or I got distracted. I don't know how to catch up and end up stressed and yelling at the kids. I'm MUCH more uptight, stressed, and likely to yell at the kids when trying to follow a schedule. It isn't pretty.

 

I even bought MOTH and created one of their pretty little schedules. It lasted about a week before I ripped the thing off the wall because DS10 (then 7 or 8) kept getting on me if I was even a minute behind schedule. "Mom, the schedule says math started at 10am and it is now 10:01am."

 

So, were you like me and you overcame it and now lead a blissful life of routine that allows you to still have fun? How?

 

No answers but I feel the same way. :bigear:

[yslek]

No answers but I feel the same way. :bigear:

 

Same here. Are you perchance a 'P' on the Myers-Briggs? ;) I tried the MOTH schedule once, too. Spent all day figuring out & making my beautiful schedule (that part was sort of fun) and lasted only 1.5 days actually following it. I was sooo awful those days, trying to force everyone to follow my brillIant plan... :tongue_smilie:

 

Anyway, I'm no help, but will watch this thread in case someone out there has the magical answer we all seek. :D

[joannqn]

Same here. Are you perchance a 'P' on the Myers-Briggs? ;)

 

I'm an ENFP. DH, on the other hand, is exactly the opposite: ISTJ. He's always trying to keep me focused on the task at hand while I'm off getting sidetracked.

[Wordfairy]

I know where you guys are coming from but I have found a type of unscheduling scheduling that will make both you and the kiddos feel more productive.

 

1) You take ordinary wide craft sticks (look like over sized popsicle sticks) and write down each subject that the children need to do.

 

2) On another set write the amount of time 10-60 minutes. Each morning the children choose their subject sticks out of a jar. Then they choose how many minutes they do that subject.

 

This method has taken such a burden off of me trying to schedule their day and put it in their little hands. Because they pick the subject and the time they are motivated to get as much done in that time as possible so that they can move on to more exciting activities. I can't even take credit for this. One of the families in my homeschool support group gave another parent the idea when they were struggling with scheduling. I teach three kids and since using this method we have been able to methodically get through our work as well as not feel like we are boxed in. That is the joy. Don't worry that they'll get only ten minutes for math and they've hit a rough spot and need more time. Sometimes shorter lessons help and it all evens out in the end.

[mazakaal]

I'm more of a routine than a schedule person. I found myself constantly stressed if we got 'behind' on the schedule. Now we just have a general order for how we go through our work most days. We also have a couple of 'alternative' routines.

 

Most days we start at 8:15 with all the kids, then do 14yo's work with me, then history and science with the youngers, then lunch, then English and math for youngers and finishing around 3:30 or so to get out to swimming or tennis lessons. Some days we have no afternoon activity, so the youngers want to play in the early afternoon. I'll spend the time doing chores and get to their afternoon work a bit later. Other days the youngers have home ed group meeting or forest school in the morning. I'll get the 14yo started on his work early and take the youngers out. Then I work with the kids from 1-6pm or so. We'll do the subjects in the same general order as on regular days, just starting later.

 

So maybe you can set up a few different schedules, one for days when you need to be done by 3pm, one for days when you're out in the morning, one for when you have an activity in the early afternoon, and follow the appropriate schedule for what you have going on that day.

[fairfarmhand]

I hear you.

 

What has helped me was dumping the idea of being a "schedule person" Instead I make a list with the most important stuff at the top and then working my way through the list.

 

Sometimes, like for cleaning, I will rearrange the list for quick chores at the top so that I can work my list more quickly.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I follow a schedule, but it is not labeled with times. On a day when we are home, the kids put up magnets of what we are going to do. They can choose the order in which we do each subject/activity.

 

Before the school year starts, I go through all the curricula, and break each one down into one-day chunks and keep a list of these chunks in a binder. Then, I do my lesson plans 4 weeks at a time. By planning this way, I usually know what extra activities are happening, and can work them into the lesson plans. Or if we got behind, I can fix up the next 4 weeks accordingly.

 

I'm not strict about adherence to the schedule, either. But having a schedule and lesson plans laid out for myself really does help me navigate through all that I need to accomplish in a given day.

[Tammyla]

You may benefit from a core-curriculum that must be done first and daily. It doesn’t take much effort to get math and LA out of the way before dropping everything and heading out for an activity. That leaves you with the confidence that the basics were covered, and the flexibility to take and enjoy those outings.

[Farrar]

This is why I do a routine instead. Schedules feel like a prison to me too. But if I have a routine, that feels comfortable and more flexible. So, for example, at least in my mind, then a schedule might say, we do math from 10-10:40 on Tuesday and we need to accomplish these specific pages. A routine says we do math on Tuesday morning, but it doesn't say exactly how long or what pages. So if there's something going on later or the kids are extra crazy, we can do a page and call it done. But if it's a rainy, stay in day or the kids are really flying through it, we can do more and spend longer and let the whole routine take more time.

 

The trick for me is to really stick to the routine and not get off it except for truly extenuating circumstances. But then to make it flexible enough that it can take varied amounts of time.

[ktgrok]

I could never do something like MOTH. Never. But a fly lady type schedule works for me. I have a morning routine of eat breakfast, get dressed, put in contacts/brush teeth and wipe down counter while in there. Then I deal with dishes/laundry/and set roomba up somewhere in the house. Those things I get done by a certain time. Then I know I have other stuff to do during the day, but it isn't tied to a time. Lunch and nap ARE set times, but like 'between 11 and 1pm" not to the minute. Everything else falls into that routine. Does that make sense?