Need advice/suggestions for 6-yr old who doesn't want to learn

[craftymama]

My son doesn't want to learn. We've been going through the OPGTTR which is our second program for reading. He's doing better with it than he did with the last one, but he isn't interested in learning. He comes in with a bad attitude, doesn't focus, looks around, makes jokes, looks for pretty much any reason to be distracted. We were doing school at 9 in the morning and he always complained about not having play time. After much thought about the situation and the family, I decided to do afternoon school. We now start around noon. We eat lunch 11-1130 and then I put the babies down for a nap and we go to school. It went very well the first week and was working well this week, but that seems to have ended. It still isn't as bad as morning school was, but I'm pretty drained from the constant battle.

 

When asked he says he doesn't want to learn. He also doesn't want to go to public school.

 

On the flip side he'll do spelling (HTTS) without issue, though it's only 15 minutes. He'll do science and whine to do more. Most days he'll do math with a million extra questions about things I can't teach him because he doesn't have all the basics he needs to do them yet (multiplication, fractions, etc.).

 

History is as bad as reading on chapter day, but the other day with the other books and activities we don't too much of a problem. BUT he HAS to learn how to read.

 

I should also mention we're having some issues with him testing limits in other areas - not doing what he's told, responding with "no" and "never," being defiant, etc.

 

If you've made it this far, thank you. And what ideas/suggestions do you have?

[Chris in VA]

Sounds like he wants to learn SOME things.

Maybe take his interests and build his reading lessons around them?

Where is he in his reading skills? (What does he know--Letter sounds? CVC words? More than that?)

[Parrothead]

Yes, he has to learn to read. No, he doesn't have to learn to read now.

 

Some kids are slower learning to read than others. Sounds like he may not be ready. I'd ditch it for now and pick it up again in the fall. Maybe give him lots of opportunities to need to read but tell him he isn't ready yet and that you'll teach him to read in September. If it goes on long enough he might even come to you with the book in hand asking you to teach him to read.

[craftymama]

He knows all the letter sounds, short and long vowel sounds, he knows most of the spellings for the long vowel sounds (ea makes the long a or the long e sound, if it doesn't sound right try the other one kind of thing). He knows the silent e rule.

[LillyMama]

It's the age. I think there are about 2,389 of us moms of six year old boys on this site alone who could have written your post.

 

First and foremost- he probably needs some success. Go back and pick the easiest thing he's read, something you know he can do easily, and just do that for a week. If it's just five words over and over, do it. Tell him how proud you are of him for working hard. Don't praise success, praise working hard. Kids these days only value what's easy, what they're good at, because we've stopped valuing hard work. My son was always frustrated with reading because we were always moving forward so it was always hard. When I pulled back and gave him BOB books below his level- within two weeks he say "I can read!" Now we mix in "easy" with challenging.

 

Here's my two cents about the schedule- I read a study once that kids don't learn well first thing in the morning unless they are morning kids. The best time for most kids to learn is 10-12. But afternoons are pretty much the worst time for every body. My son is actually a morning person, so learning for him is best really early in the morning. So he has breakfast at 7:00-7:30, and I read to him over breakfast. He then does a narration from that reading. (Where I write what he says and then he draws a picture.) 7:30-8 he does his five morning chores. Then he gets to play until 8:30. So if he does his chores fast, then he gets to play longer. We had to make this a very deliberate and talked about time of day- this is your play time. If you designate a play time for him, that may help. Sometimes kids don't realize they are having play time until it's over.

 

Then we move to calendar time and that's very active. We do skip-counting while on the trampoline, skip counting while jumping jacks, skip counting while standing on our heads... I do sight word flash cards three times a week and try to pick the most active words- run, skip, hop, etc. so he can "act" them out.

 

Then we buckle down and do phonics. He hates book work, but we do ETC in the book and online. So I set the computer work to be review stuff and the book to do the challenging stuff. He gets success and challenge. This lasts about 15-30 minutes. Then everyone takes runs around the house.

 

I do a blend hunt outside. I write words using whatever blends we are learning on index cards and hide them like Easter Eggs. He has to go find them and sort them- we tape them to the driveway in a chart.

 

We use AAS and other really active ways of doing spelling. Once we introduced AAS, his reading took off.

 

If he likes science and history, make a word bank while you read those books. Start by writing down interesting nouns for a week or two, on yellow cards, then start adding verbs. Give him the box of cards and show him how to make sentences. "Plants grow" or "Archaeologists excavate." Sure, he won't be able to read them, but it will help him WANT to read.

 

I'm starting to ramble, as my son's quiet time is now over and things are loud, but I just want to encourage you to try to find ways to make reading active. We have to put OPGTR reading down every couple of weeks. He still learns to read, but we just do different methods.

 

Hang in there. He'll read some day, but he may never love it. That's okay.

[Trilliums]

I would spend more time on the things he does like to do. He can learn to read via a science program or even science related story books. Also, I would talk to him a lot about math and read about it in library books. I would not avoid a topic or a question just because he hasn't covered the concept yet in a curriculum. You can expose him to the concept in your conversations. Use a lot of things as manipulatives and get his hands busy doing stuff. For example, keep a giant jar for change and count it, sort it, talk about the way the coins add, divide and multiply. He probably does want to learn, just not the way learning looks like at school. :001_smile:

 

I agree he doesn't have to learn to read right now and things will probably go a lot better if he is given a bit mroe time. My son was a late reader (age 9) and now he is debating taking AP English next year as a 10th grader. At age 7 I remember him saying he was never going to learn how to read. Now most nights I have to tell him to stop reading and go to bed! Oh yea, he also hated math until he was about 11. Now he thinks math is awesome (his words!). I didn't force him, but kept on exposing him to options and kept on expecting him to learn and grow. Just...it didn't have to necessarily be learnign through a curriculum.

 

good luck and :grouphug:

[Trilliums]

Have you tried doing the lessons in such a way where he is able to move around? I have a chalkboard on the wall. Sometimes I write what I want him to read/see and have him call stuff out. We sometimes go outside and write with sidewalk chalk. I have plastic letters he can use for spelling. He does a coloring page while I read the history. Just stuff like that is helpful. And he is getting much better. He is nearly 7 and I'm seeing an improvement.

 

 

 

:iagree: Good suggestions.

 

The kids also like to use clay or moon sand while I read history out loud or while listening to audio books.

[MomatHWTK]

:iagree:

[craftymama]

This is true here as well. If I haven't gotten to the meatiest stuff by noon, forget about it. My son is a morning person. But by afternoon he has checked out. :D

 

I expect more of the 10 year old with regards to that, but even he is not his best by the afternoon.

 

Mine is not a morning person at all. He wants to get up late (at least later than I would like) and then he wants to do his own thing for awhile and then eat breakfast and then play. I have always heard mornings were better, but he is not built for mornings. After lunch has been working better. I think partly because it's just the two of us and he likes that. As a self made morning person I would prefer to get up and get it done, but that was a worse fight.

[ElizabethB]

You can try my phonics concentration game.

 

http://www.thephonicspage.org/On%20Phonics/concentrationgam.html

[Ellie]

You're thinking about this all wrong. :D

 

It isn't that your 6yo doesn't want to learn. It's that he doesn't want to learn what you want to teach him, the way you want to teach him, when you want to teach him. And that isn't necessarily a bad thing, but if you are saying to yourself that he doesn't want to learn, that will affect everything you do with him, and possibly set him up for failure.

 

Children are enigmas. Our job as parents is to figure it out. :)

 

If he doesn't like OPGTR, then do something else (although it might be a good idea to wait awhile). He's just 6. You have time. :)

[craftymama]

I had DH talk to him. Daddy doesn't do school with him, so it seemed like a better option. I think he likes what we're doing, but he needs some other activities added in that are more hands on to keep it interesting for him. He says (with a smile even) he likes the "quiz" on how to spell certain sounds each day and he likes reading the kids books so maybe slowing down will help build confidence and reading more books will help him see what he can do and will help him want to do more.

[TKDmom]

Sigh...I have a 6yo who just wants to play Wii all day. I don't know where he got the idea that I'd ever let him play Wii at 8 in the morning. :glare: 6 months ago he was hopping out of bed and doing all his schoolwork before I was fully awake. Now he whines and complains at the barest hint that he might have to do anything.

 

I have no idea what to do with this child. For the time being, I have unplugged the Wii and I'm taking an extended spring break.

 

I'm :bigear: for ideas on 6yo boys.

[Susan in TX]

You're thinking about this all wrong. :D

 

It isn't that your 6yo doesn't want to learn. It's that he doesn't want to learn what you want to teach him, the way you want to teach him, when you want to teach him. And that isn't necessarily a bad thing, but if you are saying to yourself that he doesn't want to learn, that will affect everything you do with him, and possibly set him up for failure.

 

Children are enigmas. Our job as parents is to figure it out. :)

 

If he doesn't like OPGTR, then do something else (although it might be a good idea to wait awhile). He's just 6. You have time. :)

 

:iagree:

 

Susan in TX

[JessReplanted]

We take the approach with our kids that school is their 'job'. It's not a choice (once they reach K). My son also struggled learning how to read, and I remember those days spent on the couch trying to sound out words. :tongue_smilie:

 

I would always do reading first, and then follow it with those subjects that are more fun. We also have always had a reward (for us it's video game time) for a 'good' school day.

 

Good day = positive attitude & diligent work

 

I would also take away screen time for having a crummy attitude.