TXMomof4 Posted April 30, 2012 Share Posted April 30, 2012 Of course the whole neighborhood is reacting to the death of the little girl this weekend. Those of you who have lived on a military post know how quickly you are able to form amazing friendships and how close you get to your neighbors. This family had only been here a little over a week, but they were already being drawn into the community. There is zero evidence of fault here. The child was severly autistic. The mother had already expressed concern about the nearness of the lake and was aware of the risk it posed. This was a tragedy that only took minutes to occur. The very best, most vigilant person could have this sort of thing happen to them. It is tragic. So - to the stupid people here. This morning I was having our weekly bible study at my home. My friend lives around the circle - almost directly opposite my home. She texted that she was on her way with her kids. My children step out on the front porch to watch for them. Her kids are riding scooters and are ahead of her - not out of sight, not out of voice range. Some idiot saw them and apparently didn't notice mom trailing behind and called the MPs. We're sitting and planning meals and other ways we can help this family and the MPs knock at the door. I had to give a statement and they had to write it up. Notice, the lovely individual that was SO concerned about "unsupervised" children didn't stop to see if they were lost or needing help. Heaven forbid they actually verify the situation or do anything to correct what they thought was a fault in the situation. No - just call the cops out as a reaction. I get it on one level. Everyone is overwrought. But then again - if I were really concerned about a child out alone I certainly wouldn't let them continue on their way with no supervision. Argh!! I can't stand idiocy! Now my kids aren't allowed outside at all except in the tiny fenced back yard unless I can sit outside with them. This will make for a rotten summer. My kids have been playing in our front yard since we moved in. They know they aren't allowed to leave the area immediately around our home. They know noo one - not even the 12 yo is allowed outside alone - they always have to have a buddy. We have had zero problems with them disobeying these rules. We've had zero complaints in the 10 months we've been here. All the kids on this side of the circle hang out here - it's been fantastic. Now that's over - at least for a while. I don't have the time to sit outside for hours in the evenings, I don't have a 13 yo to be nominally in charge - so they're stuck in the back yard. Being in the fenced backyard wouldn't have prevented Hannah from escaping. Hers was an unusual situation, but ignorance of the facts is making people get ridiculous. I'm just venting I suppose. I don't like being grilled by the cops about something that didn't occur. I don't like being treated like an idiot about the supervision of my kids. I don't like mean people blaming a grieving family for something they couldn't prevent. I don't like mean people in general. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted April 30, 2012 Share Posted April 30, 2012 I don't like mean people blaming a grieving family for something they couldn't prevent.. We have talked about these types of situations here a few times. The truth is, people cast blame because then they can make themselves believe that it couldn't happen to them. Some people take extreme risks and get lucky. Some people are extremely cautious and are still struck by tragedy. But, humans don't want to believe that. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted April 30, 2012 Share Posted April 30, 2012 Some people take extreme risks and get lucky. Some people are extremely cautious and are still struck by tragedy. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMamaBird Posted April 30, 2012 Share Posted April 30, 2012 :grouphug: So sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paintedlady Posted April 30, 2012 Share Posted April 30, 2012 Your 12 year old isn't allowed out of your yard?! What kind of craziness is this? My 11 and 12 year olds go all around our neighborhood, and all over town for that matter. At 12 years old I was babysitting and teaching swimming lessons to little kids at the public pool every morning, and we rode our bikes 2-3 miles to get there, unsupervised! DH & I met while we were both in the Army and we lived on a cul de sac on base after we got married and there were kids all over the place. I never heard of a rule that required kids to be in their own yards. What happened to that little girl is tragic but the rules sound absolutely crazy! :confused1: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dangermom Posted April 30, 2012 Share Posted April 30, 2012 We have talked about these types of situations here a few times. The truth is, people cast blame because then they can make themselves believe that it couldn't happen to them. This is so true. It's a superstitious defense mechanism. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zookeeper Posted April 30, 2012 Share Posted April 30, 2012 We have talked about these types of situations here a few times. The truth is, people cast blame because then they can make themselves believe that it couldn't happen to them. Some people take extreme risks and get lucky. Some people are extremely cautious and are still struck by tragedy. But, humans don't want to believe that. :grouphug: So true. The 2yo of some friends of ours was missing for 4 hours on friday. It made the news and one of the first comments was about how irresponsible the parents were. :confused: I try to remember these people are probably ignorant because thankfully nothing like this has ever happened to them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dustybug Posted April 30, 2012 Share Posted April 30, 2012 Your 12 year old isn't allowed out of your yard?! What kind of craziness is this? My 11 and 12 year olds go all around our neighborhood, and all over town for that matter. At 12 years old I was babysitting and teaching swimming lessons to little kids at the public pool every morning, and we rode our bikes 2-3 miles to get there, unsupervised! DH & I met while we were both in the Army and we lived on a cul de sac on base after we got married and there were kids all over the place. I never heard of a rule that required kids to be in their own yards. What happened to that little girl is tragic but the rules sound absolutely crazy! :confused1: I wasn't allowed to roam the neighborhood alone at 12 and while we currently live in a rural area, even if we didn't my children wouldn't be left unattended at 12 either. It doesn't sound crazy to me. Different strokes for different folks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
indigomama Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 I'm so sorry. That poor family doesn't need to feel any worse than they already do. A few days ago a 2yo little girl in our community, was hit by her dad, who was parking their farm tractor. It happened in a split second, the police ruled it an accident and that's what it was a horrible tragic accident. But people online started spouting off-little kids should not be let loose, they shouldn't be around equipment, the parents should have watched their kids better. Don't they know this dad will never, ever forget that day, regret his choices, his moves. What is wrong with people, that they can't extend a little compassion? Accidents are just that...accidents and they happen to even the most diligent parents. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paintedlady Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 (edited) I wasn't allowed to roam the neighborhood alone at 12 and while we currently live in a rural area, even if we didn't my children wouldn't be left unattended at 12 either. It doesn't sound crazy to me. Different strokes for different folks. That's fine if you want to make that rule for your kid(s), but for there to be a rule, imposed by the base I assume (?), that 12 year olds can't leave their own yards??? That's crazy where I come from. :tongue_smilie: Edited May 1, 2012 by Paintedlady Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paintedlady Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 I wasn't allowed to roam the neighborhood alone at 12 and while we currently live in a rural area, even if we didn't my children wouldn't be left unattended at 12 either. It doesn't sound crazy to me. Different strokes for different folks. That's fine if you want to make that rule for your kid(s), but for there to be a rule, imposed by the base, that 12 year olds can't leave their own yards??? That's crazy where I come from. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dustybug Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 That's fine if you want to make that rule for your kid(s), but for there to be a rule, imposed by the base I assume (?), that 12 year olds can't leave their own yards??? That's crazy where I come from. :tongue_smilie: Oh. I guess I read it wrong then. I read it like the OP had those as HER general rules to start with, but now with this incident, she was relegating the children to the backyard only. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GingerPoppy Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 That is craziness! I'm so sorry that summer is not going to be what it should have been, all due to over-reactions and the belief that if we make a rule or law about *absolutely* everything, then nothing bad will ever happen again. Mean people really get under my skin, too. Accidents happen. I hate the stupid blame game that people play, as if things always go back to being a parent's fault. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXMomof4 Posted May 1, 2012 Author Share Posted May 1, 2012 Oh. I guess I read it wrong then. I read it like the OP had those as HER general rules to start with, but now with this incident, she was relegating the children to the backyard only. These aren't my rules. We live on post. They are post rules - which no one has enforced up to this point. I am perfectly confident in allowing my children to play in the front yard. Obviously I don't let the 5 yo out alone, but a group of kids playing is different. I don't have a choice anymore though. Until peoples' knee-jerk reaction fades, the kids are relegated to the back yard. If I understand it correctly they aren't allowed to be unsupervised if they are under the age of 12. My oldest is the only 12 yo in this group of kids, so she can go play by herself, but the rest of the herd has to be in the back yard. The funny thing is I would trust my 10 yo on her own before my 12 yo. She much more responsible and cautious. But, it is what it is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
besroma Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 We have talked about these types of situations here a few times. The truth is, people cast blame because then they can make themselves believe that it couldn't happen to them. Some people take extreme risks and get lucky. Some people are extremely cautious and are still struck by tragedy. But, humans don't want to believe that. :grouphug: :iagree: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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