BlueTaelon Posted April 12, 2012 Share Posted April 12, 2012 dd11 can not be left alone to take a test or she just plays and clicks though. I left her alone for about 5 minutes and figured at worst she'd get though a couple problems, not really worry about it since they said it would start her at kindy math and move up. Its pretty hard to blow kindy math so I figured I was safe to leave her for 5 minutes. WRONG! The test looked at her age and started at 6th grade and she clicked through over 50 questions in those 5 minutes! Even the 30+ minutes I sat with her still averaged out to 22 seconds per problem and she scored 4 grades below where I expected. She was busy throwing a tantrum complete with tears over math SHE KNOWS while testing. She just didn't want to do school work period. She got out of work yesterday since she didn't feel well but she's well enough today and that's the only thing I asked her to do. She has a long history of blowing tests on purpose because she doesn't like them. I feel there should be consequences for this. Suggestions? I'm going to make her redo the test tomorrow and do the clicking for her (she gives me verbal answers) which means I have to find a babysitter for my younger but this is ridiclious! Next month she's got both Scantron which could affect her placement choices in the charter and state STAR testing. She's 11, almost 12 and this is not acceptable at all:mad: I've told her all year that if she blows the STAR test she will find herself back in a K12 virtual school which she does not want but she just doesn't "get" consequences in the future for actions committed now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 I would do as you are doing. You need to follow through on anything you tell her, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in CA Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 I would give that student a *LOT* more homework & study time, because obviously they don't know their stuff yet. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 I would give that student a *LOT* more homework & study time, because obviously they don't know their stuff yet. ;) :D :D :D She has it coming. "I'm sorry, honey, but you're just going to have to double up on those math lessons. I know you're upset, but we both know how you worked so hard on that test and still couldn't pass it, so what else can we do?" ;) Seriously, though, I think you're handling it very well. It's a nuisance to have to babysit her every minute and do the clicking for her on the test, but there's really no other way to find out how much she really knows. Did she not know she was going to get caught? Did she just assume you'd be fine with her horrible grade? Or does she simply not care at all? I would be as annoyed as you are. Sending you a couple of :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalknot Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 I like to lecture - it's like a painful, slow torture for them. Here's my go-to for this situation (BTDT): First up, respect for the process. I'm not saying they have to enjoy every task that comes their way. I illustrate the point by asking them how many times they see me grin and do backflips every time their urine misses the enormous target called a toilet bowl. I ask them how common it is to see me shout with glee that more laundry needs to be done! dishes await me! and oh delight, I get to spend hundreds of dollars and hours of driving to make their extracurriculars possible when I'd rather be sitting on the couch watching bad tv and drinking pricey coffee. There's a time for for play and a time for work. Next up, respect for the teacher's time. It's incredibly disrespectful (even if it wasn't the kid's intention) to behave as though all I exist for is to be at the child's beck, call, and whim. The kid doesn't want to spend 30 minutes taking a test, fine. But he needs to realize the world exists beyond him. What could have lasted a painful but mere x-minutes now goes on for x+20 minutes w/ the tantrums, and the task is still there! Only now I have to carve out time in my own schedule to babysit someone who's closer to driving and voting than he is to having been in diapers and eating his boogers ... to make sure it gets done. Right. The second time. It's rude. Finally, respect for himself and family. We've covered how we have to do things we don't want to do and how it's important to not make our self-induced personal problems the problems of others. Now we review how he deserves better. An 11 year old can feel overwhelmed or sad, and that's fine. But it's a tad ridiculous to expect that by 11 years old the child isn't able to display better self-control. (And insert here ideas or suggestions, genuinely if the kid truly struggle with this.) It's important that the child display respect for himself by caring what his behavior says about him - to himself, to me, to others. I'm truthful in admitting that I don't wish to be known as the Whiny Kid's Mom. He owes it to himself to learn to work through these frustrations and annoyances. I ask him to imagine if I hadn't learned to do that m'self! (Hint: the conversation taking place would involve more yelling, screaming, and shaming -on MY end- than it does calm -if boring!- discussion.) By that time my voice is almost gone and I'm thirsty so I make a Sonic run LOL. Usually in the 10 minutes I'm gone, the tantrum has faded and the kid will resignedly focus. I find that giving each of us that 10 minutes is crucial. Since it's a habit, Sonic got pricey. I switched it up sometimes to running laps or sending him to shower. Not a punishment, just a cooldown. Consequences that we put into place were tailored to the three points in my lecture. First, respect for the process ... since we're not in the heat of the moment, we brainstorm ways she can appropriately handle her laziness or lack of desire because we know they'll arise again. Conveniently enough we have the exam to re-take, so it's the perfect opportunity to put those ideas into motion LOL. When I feel it's an issue of laziness (moreso than an issue of truly not knowing how to handle an emotion), we add the opportunity to practice learning how to do things we don't want to do. This is AKA "Mom's week off" from a daily responsibility that the child then assumes. I don't require cheerfulness, just the conviction that the lesson is sinking in. If not, I'm happy to take another week off :D. Second, respect for the teacher's time ... Here, it's a matter of the kid rushing through work to say it's done so they can play (knowing I only grade after bedtime). If I then must spend my entire time babysitting during math review, well - I'm going to need more help with dinner or other chores they don't want to necessarily do/help with. I'm only one person. It's hard on me, especially around burnout time of the year, but I know the bigger lesson is worth it. I just have to keep muttering that to myself. Third, respect for self and family. They're expected to discuss or write up a plan of action - I'm happy to work with them on this, but I want concrete solutions for what they'll do differently in the future. Example, "if it's something I don't want to do, I'll make it less awful by asking to have the radio on" I don't know, just a review of other options. And the reminder that they DO have other options :). If I feel like she has respect for self and family, I am happy to give significant weight to her input (charter school). If she continues to demonstrate a lack of responsibility and age-appropriate maturity, then I reserve the right to not waste any more of my time -or anyone else's time- and to co-opt the decision (K12). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 Eternalknot, I don't know if I've mentioned how much I love you recently. Seriously, I'm thinking of printing this out for reference. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 Eternalknot, I don't know if I've mentioned how much I love you recently. Seriously, I'm thinking of printing this out for reference. I know! I want her to move in next door. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalknot Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 You are too kind :blush: and much appreciated. (Shh, thanks, here's the $20 I promised each of you!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 But why? I feel like there must be more to it. Why does she hate tests so much? It just sounds like there's more to this than laziness or testing boundaries. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joannqn Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 I would give that student a *LOT* more homework & study time, because obviously they don't know their stuff yet. ;) :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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