caitlinsmom Posted April 10, 2012 Share Posted April 10, 2012 (edited) This weekend we spent Easter Sunday with my brother and his wife and her sister "R". We have spent a few family function with them and have always enjoyed our time together. "R" is 12 soon to be 13 I believe. She has some issues and struggles but overall has seemed to be a nice girl. She plays well with all the kids, I think because they accept her for who she is (some of her issues are physical). That is until yesterday. Yesterday her behavior was just different enough that it caught my attention but not until later in the day. Yesterday she routinely ignored rules set by both myself and my brother (no upstairs alone). After multiple issues we finally left, where I began asking ds questions. Here are all the weird things that took place.... 1. She tied him up in a dark closet 2. She tickled and touch him multiple times (no off limit zones just general body) 3. She continuously kept him by himself against the wishes of all adults present 4. They played Dare where she had him suck on a large squishy ball????!! 5. She instigated a "weird but hilarious game" of the dresses and bras are going to get us (it was imaginary) played in a dark closet. 6. She went into the bathroom with him "but don't worry I won't look". I am sick. Sick that all this went on while there were 6 adults present in the house. Sick that this is a family member. Mostly sick because I didn't see it sooner. I am so beyond thankful that nothing happened that actually hurt my son (although he did not like being tied up, duh!). I am glad that he just thought it was all a weird but fun game. I am just sick about this but so thankful at the same time. I already spoke to my sister in law and plan to get with her mother this week. I hope that this little girl can get help and that these things wont be pushed under the rug. There are other issues that have come out of the closet today for R. I hope that they will not ignore the cries she is sending. Mostly though, I am so thankful I listened to by gut and my little guy was not hurt. Edited April 10, 2012 by caitlinsmom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsBasil Posted April 10, 2012 Share Posted April 10, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whereneverever Posted April 10, 2012 Share Posted April 10, 2012 :grouphug: This is also a really good opportunity to talk to your son about when things feel weird or uncomfortable to tell an adult. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindyg Posted April 10, 2012 Share Posted April 10, 2012 I didn't get what you meant by this: Yesterday she . . . began conditioning for future abuse. Do you mean "R" was conditioning your son for future abuse? How old is your son? Are you aware that "R" has already been abused, or no? (I couldn't tell if you were implying if you guys know she has already been abused.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caitlinsmom Posted April 10, 2012 Author Share Posted April 10, 2012 I didn't get what you meant by this: Do you mean "R" was conditioning your son for future abuse? How old is your son? Are you aware that "R" has already been abused, or no? (I couldn't tell if you were implying if you guys know she has already been abused.) Based on other behavior not mentioned in the post I belive that "R" is/was conditioning my ds 7 for abuse she later plans on acting out. I think that R has been $exually abused and after today, her parents also think so. It's a sad messed up story. ETA: edited that part out on the OP as it will take more explaining than I can give. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
besroma Posted April 10, 2012 Share Posted April 10, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted April 10, 2012 Share Posted April 10, 2012 These can also just be signs of a curious teen who doesn't know how to act on her feelings/curiosity/limited knowledge gained from tv or real life. Sometimes people forget that just because someone is delayed physically/mentally, doesn't mean their hormones are. She may just need some guidance on what is appropriate and what is not. I am glad your son was not hurt. I am glad that the family is open to discussion and getting her the care she needs. There is a danger when assumptions are made (abuse when there may have been none), because then victims can be named inappropriately. I am not discouraging you from finding out if there is a legitimate concern, just tread carefully. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisbeth Posted April 10, 2012 Share Posted April 10, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted April 10, 2012 Share Posted April 10, 2012 I'm so sorry. I hope they get her some professional help. THey know how to interview so that they can tell if she's really been abused or if something else (like pps mentioned) is going on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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