My 19mo doesn't want me to teach school

[mariposa]

I am feeling really desperate and would greatly appreciate any advice! Honestly, I'm pretty much at my wit's end lately. We were having a really good homeschooling year until about a month ago.

 

I'm teaching a 4th, 3rd, and K-er this year, and in the past month or so my youngest (about 19mos) is making school time stressful and almost impossible for all of us. He's pretty much holding onto my legs crying or whining most of the time, when I'm reading a book or going over something, he's either trying to pull me away or climbing in my lap, or trying to grab the book and pitch it away. I'm expecting a baby in September, so I don't know if that's part of it or if he's bored or just wants my attention or what.

 

So here's what I've tried: playing with him for a little while before school (then he just gets angry when I try to leave, no matter how long it's been), finding new toys or little things for him to do (works for a little while but once he's bored again, he's baaaccckkk), having the other kids play with him (still sometimes works, but often he's pushing them away now and trying to get to me), doing more while he's napping (he only sleeps 1 1/2-2 hrs though so I can't get through everything anyway). It's like I'm trying to grab bits and pieces and it feels so disjointed and hectic.

 

Should I put him in time out when he's whining and just spend a couple weeks dealing with his bad behavior. It's not just school time that he's a super-whiner. I feel like generally he's just frustrated a lot and I don't remember this as much with my others. I keep trying to tell myself that he's just really smart and easily bored :) but I just keep thinking how on earth will I do this next year when I add a baby into the mix?!

Help!

TIA,

Sarah

[coffeegal]

Is he teething? Mine sometimes get super fussy when teething, or going through a big developmental step. Can you carry him while doing school? What can your older children do independantly while you're dealing with the 19 month old? What are the essentials that you need to cover? Can you do just those during naptime? :grouphug:

[ThreeBlessings]

Is it possible to take a break from school for Spring, or an early summer vacation? Just throwing it out there because this is one of the wonderful things about homeschooling, flexibility. If you take a break, then ease back into school by adding one thing at a time, he may be over it by then.

 

Also I'm not sure from your post, but are the activities you're giving him done where you guys are schooling? When my youngest was that age a made a bunch of busy bags. Nothing kept her busy for more than 15 minutes, but she had lots of activities. Having her hang with us with her activities definitely made things go smoother. I also made a finger food snack tray before starting. Several choices of foods, this helped too.

[happyhomemaker]

I have an 18 mo old so I feel your pain. One thing that helps is to have ,used playing. Dd seems to play by herself or just dance around when music is on. Another is making sure she has outside time each day. If she is cooped up inside for too long, she will be much more whiny. Even littles need fresh air and a change of pace. I hope it gets better for you. This is a tough age!

[mariposa]

Is he teething? Mine sometimes get super fussy when teething, or going through a big developmental step. Can you carry him while doing school? What can your older children do independantly while you're dealing with the 19 month old? What are the essentials that you need to cover? Can you do just those during naptime?

 

He certainly could be, so maybe I need to just be more patient. I have been carrying him around a lot, but I feel like I'm just giving in to his crankiness. I think it's a good idea to think about my essentials and maybe try to focus on that to get me through this time - I just like to check it all off; I hate feeling like I'm not doing a good job with the older ones b/c I'm distracted, if that makes sense. We are doing spring break after this week, so I've been trying hard to hang in there.

 

Also I'm not sure from your post, but are the activities you're giving him done where you guys are schooling? When my youngest was that age a made a bunch of busy bags. Nothing kept her busy for more than 15 minutes, but she had lots of activities. Having her hang with us with her activities definitely made things go smoother. I also made a finger food snack tray before starting. Several choices of foods, this helped too.

 

He is by us; in fact this week I even moved in his little table from the playroom, which was fun for a day. The busy bags sounds VERY interesting - did you come up with ideas of what to put in them yourself or did you have a source? Also, LOVE the snack tray idea. I do use a snack time for distraction, but having something done ahead would be brilliant.

 

This is why I love this board - instead of wallowing in misery, I start thinking about how to solve problems! Thank you!

Sarah

[Terabith]

19 months is a REALLY hard age. No attention span and very jealous. But mobile enough to be aware of things. Too young for most preschool type activities and often put things in their mouths.

 

I know it might not be ideal, but I wonder if you could buy yourself 30 minutes to an hour by letting him watch some Signing Time? Or put him in the bath tub and do school in the bathroom. Maybe add some shaving cream. My kids always would play in the tub for awhile. Or at the kitchen sink with water running and/ or a dish tub full of suds.

 

Rice or bean box?

 

Do school at playground or outside somehow?

[M&M]

Some things I did with a toddler who wanted all my attention. I would pull the highchair up to the school table and either have a snack or activity - fingerpainting with pudding, the above mentioned activity bags, cheerios. Toddler would be on one side of me dc who needed my attention on the other side. I got an Ergo carrier and put toddler in it and walked around from on dc to the other dc helping with school work while bouncing baby on my back. Circle time was a great thing to include all the dc in an activity together.

 

Kendra at http://www.preschoolersandpeace.com has lots of great ideas for homeschooling with littles. When all else failed, we would pack up the stroller or jump in the car and go to the park, library or we would just take a break. On better days, I would work on training toddler to start playing more independently in playpen ...this worked with some dc and not so well with others.

 

Just keep swimming!

[Teachin'Mine]

I'm just relieved to see that it's your 19 mo and not a 19yo as I first thought. :tongue_smilie: :lol:

[mommymilkies]

19 months is a REALLY hard age. No attention span and very jealous. But mobile enough to be aware of things. Too young for most preschool type activities and often put things in their mouths.

 

I know it might not be ideal, but I wonder if you could buy yourself 30 minutes to an hour by letting him watch some Signing Time? Or put him in the bath tub and do school in the bathroom. Maybe add some shaving cream. My kids always would play in the tub for awhile. Or at the kitchen sink with water running and/ or a dish tub full of suds.

 

Rice or bean box?

 

Do school at playground or outside somehow?

 

:iagree: My 16 month old is allergic to me teaching or reading. :lol: I have found the only things that work so far are getting an older kid to play with them in the other room/outside for a little while, bath time, "daddy time", putting her in the baby carrier, giving her dry erase crayons/fingerpaint/clay/manipulatives/anything I can find to entertain her 5 minutes at a time. Usually I just speed race through schoolwork if she falls asleep! Going out on the porch works well, too. One kid will pull her in the wagon or cozy coupe up and down the block while I work with another kid.

[mariposa]

Just wanted to say thanks for the understanding and the great ideas. As the weather improves, I could definitely try some more outside stuff, too - he can spend hours in the sandbox. I hadn't thought of getting everybody outside, but that would make him so happy. I think I was just lucky with my older dc that they were all really good (and still are) at entertaining themselves. This guy has thrown me for a loop every step of the way.

 

Thanks so much ladies, I feel armed and ready for another week!

Sarah

[oldskool]

No advice, but I remember that when our youngest was that age it was really hard to get any school work done with my older two. It is super frustrating. I had to accept the fact that the year was not going to be the most stellar and to not fight it. Toddlers almost always win. All you can do is try everyday to make it work. In homeschooling, some days are better than others and some years are better than others. :grouphug:

[ktgrok]

I bet he IS teething, from what you described. The clinging just makes it sound that way. And don't worry, soothing a cranky kid who is in pain or lonely or frustrated won't teach them to be a monster, I swear. My oldest was like that, and now would be happy if I left him alone 24/7, lol. He will grow out of it. No 16 year old boy still wants mama all the time :)

 

There is a great post on the web called "The Baby IS the Lesson", maybe google that and it will make you feel better?

[LucyStoner]

Can you work hands on instruction time around your toddler's nap time?

 

Is it warm where you are? We spent a lot of time last summer doing school just inside the open patio door with my toddler playing in the small fenced yard and sandbox. I would sit on a loveseat right next to the open door so he was in sight/hearing all the time.

 

How would he do on your back in a carrier?

[mariposa]

Can you work hands on instruction time around your toddler's nap time?

 

Is it warm where you are? We spent a lot of time last summer doing school just inside the open patio door with my toddler playing in the small fenced yard and sandbox. I would sit on a loveseat right next to the open door so he was in sight/hearing all the time.

 

How would he do on your back in a carrier?

 

I can work during his nap time and I need to do more of that. I think I need to prioritize one or two things to do with each kid during this time. It is SO much easier to do anything when he's not around!

 

It is warm, but we have a very large unfenced yard, so I can't leave him alone. I could send one kid out with him though and sit on the deck with the others - trying this the first nice day we get!

 

No advice, but I remember that when our youngest was that age it was really hard to get any school work done with my older two. It is super frustrating. I had to accept the fact that the year was not going to be the most stellar and to not fight it. Toddlers almost always win. All you can do is try everyday to make it work. In homeschooling, some days are better than others and some years are better than others.

 

Thank you! It really is about perspective. I think too that I need to allow myself a day off when I need it, or a relaxed schedule. I'm kind of driven to get all the boxes checked, so this is hard for me. But I don't want to be frustrated all the time.

 

I bet he IS teething, from what you described. The clinging just makes it sound that way. And don't worry, soothing a cranky kid who is in pain or lonely or frustrated won't teach them to be a monster, I swear. My oldest was like that, and now would be happy if I left him alone 24/7, lol. He will grow out of it.

 

:iagree: Over the weekend, 2 new teeth broke through, so that's certainly playing a part. Can you send me an e-mail once a week reminding me that this won't last forever? :001_smile:

[Dustybug]

I feel your pain. I have a nearly 21 month old and she is very much as you describe. She is super clingy to me all the time and I have tried EVERYTHING. I can buy about 20 minutes though with a Blue's Clues or Sesame Street video and a snack. *sigh* I hate admitting to that, but I have tried everything and nothing else has worked.