choirfarm Posted January 28, 2012 Share Posted January 28, 2012 My son is going to a cool weekend at Baylor. He will go to the comp/eng dorm and stay overnight, go to classes with the students, activities, etc. I would like to do something similar at TCU, especially with the honors dorm. It doesn't look like they offer anything like that. I've asked on college confidential just to make sure. Now.. should I e-mail his academic advisor and ask? We met the man on our regular campus visit. He is the homeschool academic advisor; however, he is also the academic advisor for students from our region. I was wondering if I should have my son e-mail the question instead of me. Though, to be honest, he isn't sure he wants to do the Baylor one.. He's not sure he needs it. I think it will be like many things we have done with him: he is reluctant but with plenty of warning he goes and has a GREAT time. (This is a pattern.) Other thing to consider. We did the TCU regular campus visit and he had a great time. He went alone to talk to the professor and had a GREAT time- he came back trying to explain what discrete numbers were ( as we have never studied them) and how cool it was. (I nodded politely.) Then on the way out, I asked the office about the counselor part of the application and if I would fill that out. They sent me to this academic advisor who invited us in... That is not what I had intended. My son didn't have any warning... He slouched in the corner at first..very awkward. I was inwardly cringing...we hadn't really prepared for this. It got better as they got on some topics that he could come alive with.. Yes, we talked afterward about sitting up straight, looking people in the eye, etc... I just didn't realize we would be doing that.... From what I saw before we left, he did better with the professors... But he knew he was going to do that beforehand. Anyway, should I email the question or should I make him??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted January 28, 2012 Share Posted January 28, 2012 I would make him write the email. I want my student to learn to do these things, and to make the effort to organize stuff that pertains to their education. I'd offer to proof read, but that's it. At this age, I refuse to push and prod. If they want it badly enough, they have to do it. This is why my DD was not taking a certain online class last year: she dragged her feet on the application, and to me that was a sign that she was not ready or motivated enough to do it (and so I refused to remind and nag). Oh sure, if I set stuff up, she'd like it. But they need to learn to take the initiative. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted January 28, 2012 Share Posted January 28, 2012 I would make him write the email.I want my student to learn to do these things, and to make the effort to organize stuff that pertains to their education. I'd offer to proof read, but that's it. Me, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ester Maria Posted January 28, 2012 Share Posted January 28, 2012 Me, too. And me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted January 28, 2012 Share Posted January 28, 2012 Yes. I am making DD18 handle all the emails/phone calls. Even when I personally know the people she is contacting. It has been good for her confidence (thought she has hated every minute of it). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kareni Posted January 28, 2012 Share Posted January 28, 2012 I would also have my child send the email; however, I would not be averse to helping him or her craft the email. I would definitely ask to proofread it before the email is sent. Regards, Kareni Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choirfarm Posted January 29, 2012 Author Share Posted January 29, 2012 Should he mention what he is doing at Baylor? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted January 29, 2012 Share Posted January 29, 2012 (edited) I would have him, after he gets back from his fun time at Baylor, email the other school and mention how great the Baylor weekend was, and did they offer something similar to show off their school/program. Nothing like hearing you might lose a student to the competition to spur a college into offering something ;) Plus - it shows he is very interested still in THEIR school, too. I agree with offering to help draft/proofread the email - when the kid, as they do, balks at sending it tell them learning how to speak up and deal with administration folks is part of growing up and becoming an adult, and it is YOUR job to help them by teaching/modeling what needs doing, just as you did with their high school work. Edited January 29, 2012 by JFSinIL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
memphispeg Posted January 29, 2012 Share Posted January 29, 2012 I agree that your ds should e-mail the TCU person. I would have him do it right away. I would be mom-over-shoulder during the process. Maybe they have something a little different, or he could create something with the advisor or put a bee in someone's bonnet that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plansrme Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 I think it will stand out more if your son sends it. On another recent "should I do this for my son" thread, though, I opted for, "No, let him sink or swim on his own," and was implicitly accused by subsequent posters of being a bad parent. Granted, the son in the previous thread was 15, rather than 18, but I personally start working my way out of a job at about 12. So certainly at 18, I would have him do it. Terri Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choirfarm Posted January 30, 2012 Author Share Posted January 30, 2012 I think it will stand out more if your son sends it. On another recent "should I do this for my son" thread, though, I opted for, "No, let him sink or swim on his own," and was implicitly accused by subsequent posters of being a bad parent. Granted, the son in the previous thread was 15, rather than 18, but I personally start working my way out of a job at about 12. So certainly at 18, I would have him do it. Terri He is 16.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plansrme Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 He is 16.... I would still have him send the e-mail, but we promise not to tell if you stand behind him with a fly-swatter to "encourage" him to do so.;) I want to clarify that I don't think it would be bad for you to do this for him, just that it would look good for him to be taking the initiative. Terri Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
readwithem Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 I would have him, after he gets back from his fun time at Baylor, email the other school and mention how great the Baylor weekend was, and did they offer something similar to show off their school/program.Nothing like hearing you might lose a student to the competition to spur a college into offering something ;) Plus - it shows he is very interested still in THEIR school, too. I agree with offering to help draft/proofread the email - when the kid, as they do, balks at sending it tell them learning how to speak up and deal with administration folks is part of growing up and becoming an adult, and it is YOUR job to help them by teaching/modeling what needs doing, just as you did with their high school work. I love this idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choirfarm Posted January 30, 2012 Author Share Posted January 30, 2012 I would still have him send the e-mail, but we promise not to tell if you stand behind him with a fly-swatter to "encourage" him to do so.;) I want to clarify that I don't think it would be bad for you to do this for him, just that it would look good for him to be taking the initiative. Terri This is actually what I planned to do. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
memphispeg Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 Every little bit of "initiative" on the part of our students helps. It is good to encourage its development by baby steps so, that they have your support as they practice. They learn that the world is really not all that scary and that they do have something to offer, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sebastian (a lady) Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 One thing I'm learning with my eldest is that I need to tell him that some trepidation with dealing with new situations is normal. He's not having an unusual circumstance to feel anxious about dealing with administrators, authority figures or situations that are unexpected. Somehow, just telling him that the feelings were normal has helped him quite a bit. An email from him might get a better response. Especially if they only offer this to limited "serious" candidates. Nothing wrong with his writing it and your proofing it. This is something adults do to help each other. DH is writing a speech for a senior officer. He asked me to look over what he has so far, to see if it presents the feel he's looking for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choirfarm Posted January 31, 2012 Author Share Posted January 31, 2012 Nothing wrong with his writing it and your proofing it. This is something adults do to help each other. DH is writing a speech for a senior officer. He asked me to look over what he has so far, to see if it presents the feel he's looking for. I've really stressed this. It is probably partially because of my poor grammar background, but typically I have to write down my thoughts. Then I come back and make it sound good and find spelling errors and grammatical errors. Then I come back again and fine tune more. Honestly, it takes me about 5 drafts before it sounds decent. Then before I give it to the newsletter or whatever I'm sending it to, I give it to my boys to proofread and sometimes THEY find things. ( I think it is good for them to be able to correct me sometimes. It helps them see that we all need help proofreading our own work!) That probably explains why I make so many errors posting on this board!! Most of the time I just write and sometimes read it over once... that's it. It would take me an hour to get it grammatically correct. It just takes me that long to look at it, consider if I did it correctly, look things up in MLA or Browns etc. That is why it takes me hours to grade essays... I'm never sure... My oldest is actually better than I am in grammar, so I gave him the tools. He made a 35 while I made a 24 on the English section of the ACT... Sigh... He's passed me in so many areas... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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