If you know someone with ADD please read this

[ThatCyndiGirl]

Maybe you ladies who have been diagnosed with ADD can help me with relating to my dh.

 

I've been wondering if maybe he has mild to moderate ADD, or if it's 'just how he is', or if I'm the weird one, or what.

 

If he's working on something, say a work project (he's a computer engineer/programmer), and I come into the room and ask him about something, it TOTALLY throws him off. I mean, I GET that it's annoying to be interrupted if you're doing something heavy/important, and I try not to do it frequently. But the man is ALWAYS working; I can't just NEVER talk to him. Anyway, it doesn't just mildly irritate him. It seems to throw him way off, and he gets kinda annoyed because it seems like he has a hard time going back to concentrating on what he was doing. Sometimes, I can't even just sit there and wait until he gets to a 'stopping point' so I can discuss something with him. Just the fact that he knows I need to speak with him makes him unable to concentrate on what he's doing.

 

Also, if he's working at the dining room table instead of in the bedroom, he needs me and the children not to be talking/making a lot of 'distracting' noise, but he wants a movie or something on as background noise. (Usually it's a Winnie the Pooh movie, LOL. :D) I don't get that at ALL. Which is another reason we set him up with a space upstairs to work; so that he can concentrate, and we don't have to be SILENT.

 

Is this just normal stuff, and dh and I just 'work' differently, or what? He'd not take kindly to me even INSINUATING that he has any sort of ADD, since he doesn't even like when I talk with him about his sensory issues. Don't even get me started on THAT. :tongue_smilie:

 

 

Yes, this is completely normal for me. The part about 'even knowing that I need to talk to him is distracting for him'. yes, yes, yes. My dh is really bad about interrupting me to say, "I need to get your receipts" and it totally throws off what I was saying. I keep telling him that being interrupted does not irritate me b/c I think that what I have to say is so darn important, it is CRAZY MAKING b/c I can't finish the thought and now I have forgotten YET ONE MORE THING!!! Beyond aggravating! He has gotten better about it once I told him that near tears.

[QuirkyKapers]

It's not that I have ADD, it's just oh look a bunny.

 

:grouphug: yeah, them rabbit trails. good luck.

 

 

:D I was diagnosed with ADHD as child. My parents took me off my meds at a certain point because they didn't want me to just rely on the med's and wanted me to learn behavior control. I can control it. However, it is very hard. If I really want to listen to someone I need to repeat in my head what they are saying to me. Otherwise, I want to finish sentences. I am sure that I am not always the most relaxing person to be around because I am struggling to listen and why can't people just talk faster??? They talk too slow and than my mind has wandered;) Rabbit trail of the mind.

 

Starting a task, seeing something else that needs to be done and starting that, than seeing something else that needs to be done and realizing "Oh- what in the heck was the original thing I was trying to accomplish anyway???"

 

Loud talking. That is me. Why do I talk so loud? Well, I don't really realize I am talking loud. My psychiatrist said that is part of ADHD. I am working really hard to monitor this. However, most of my friends, don't even think about that I am loud. It is just others. I really wish I could just naturally be a soft talker. I think that people actually listen to you more if you talk softer. I am sure I just make people want to cover their ears and run away screaming sometimes;)

 

I also know with my ADHD, I can't have too many games with little pieces, I am not good with doing crafts because of all the supplies needed to be gathered (kits are great). Also, if I put too much on my plate or there is too much stress, it overwhelms me. I have to be very careful that when my friends have drama in their life that it doesn't becomes my drama and suck the life out of me.

 

One of the positives of my ADHD is that I can take many pieces of information and put them together quickly in a very organized fashion. It is helpful for me to try and remember for all the negatives, there are positives to ADHD as well. That is just one that comes to my mind. I also tend to be willing to let my kids work on something for school even if it means it didn't fall in my lesson plans. This is a positive because my kids have done projects I would have never thought of. I just have to make sure this isn't happening with all the things we are doing.

 

 

:grouphug::grouphug: I so relate to what everyone has said.

[Night Elf]

:grouphug: BTDT and with some other issues too. Maddening is a spot-on description.

[Night Elf]

Those of you that were Dx just by talking to a dr without further testing, don't you think it is possible you only have traits of adhd caused by a specific learning style, etc but not actual adhd (specifically those of you who do not takes meds but just have learned a way to make it work for you)

 

This is funny because as I read through your post, I wondered if you had been misdiagnosed and told you didn't have it when maybe you do. But there is no specific test for adhd. It's diagnosed strictly from talking with the doctor. I've been diagnosed with ADD but I have other diagnoses too. I wish there was a blood test or something for the diagnoses I have to tell me 100% if I do or do not have them. But the most important thing for me is that the medications I'm on have improved the quality of my life, so there must be something to all the talky-talk.

[k2bdeutmeyer]

......why can't people just talk faster??? They talk too slow and than my mind has wandered;) Rabbit trail of the mind.

 

Oh my goodness!! Yes, this! I get frustrated trying to listen to people talk.

 

I can relate to so much that has been said. Especially the reputation/trustworthiness thing. This is the reason I can no longer run my photography business right now. I would run myself out of business. My life is chaos right now.....and when I was trying to add photography to the list, I wasn't following through on ordering, emails, etc.... I would run myself out of business in no time. So, instead, I've taken a step back.

 

Chaos. Oh the chaos. Normal, everyday situations feel like complete & utter chaos to me. If the living room is a bit of a mess and the kids pull out something else, or are being too loud I feel like I'm going to lose my mind. If we go to a restaurant and one of the children won't sit still and the other is trying to talk to me.....I feel like I'm going insane. Sometimes I beat myself up over it. Why can't I just be a normal, calm mom? Why do such little things get to me so easily?

 

And schooling. Oh, school. It is so hard for me. I can't organize my thoughts or plans. I really, really struggle. I think I'd do better with an all in one, completely laid out for me curriculum. But, I can't really afford that, and it isn't really what I want to do anyway. I worry that adding a kindergartener to the mix next year will set me over the edge.

 

Anyway.....yes, I understand. 110%

[Night Elf]

It seems to throw him way off, and he gets kinda annoyed because it seems like he has a hard time going back to concentrating on what he was doing.

 

That sounds like a Working Memory issue which can be typical of ADHD. I don't have it at the same degree as your DH but when I am interrupted, it takes me a while to figure out where I am in the project and exactly what I need to do to jump back in. With some things, like studying (reading or doing homework), I have to back up and repeat something I've already done to get back into the flow of the activity. But if I just try to start where I left off, I might have missed something and that fear sits in the back of my mind causing me to lose focus on what I'm doing in which case I have to back up anyway. Thankfullly, I don't have anything going on in my life right now where this is a problem. It was really bad when I was in college because of the way I had to study. It was rather frustrating.

[Lovedtodeath]

:D I was diagnosed with ADHD as child. My parents took me off my meds at a certain point because they didn't want me to just rely on the med's and wanted me to learn behavior control. I can control it. However, it is very hard. If I really want to listen to someone I need to repeat in my head what they are saying to me. Otherwise, I want to finish sentences. I am sure that I am not always the most relaxing person to be around because I am struggling to listen and why can't people just talk faster??? They talk too slow and than my mind has wandered;) Rabbit trail of the mind.

 

Starting a task, seeing something else that needs to be done and starting that, than seeing something else that needs to be done and realizing "Oh- what in the heck was the original thing I was trying to accomplish anyway???"

 

Loud talking. That is me. Why do I talk so loud? Well, I don't really realize I am talking loud. My psychiatrist said that is part of ADHD. I am working really hard to monitor this. However, most of my friends, don't even think about that I am loud. It is just others. I really wish I could just naturally be a soft talker. I think that people actually listen to you more if you talk softer. I am sure I just make people want to cover their ears and run away screaming sometimes;)

 

I also know with my ADHD, I can't have too many games with little pieces, I am not good with doing crafts because of all the supplies needed to be gathered (kits are great). Also, if I put too much on my plate or there is too much stress, it overwhelms me. I have to be very careful that when my friends have drama in their life that it doesn't becomes my drama and suck the life out of me.

 

One of the positives of my ADHD is that I can take many pieces of information and put them together quickly in a very organized fashion. It is helpful for me to try and remember for all the negatives, there are positives to ADHD as well. That is just one that comes to my mind. I also tend to be willing to let my kids work on something for school even if it means it didn't fall in my lesson plans. This is a positive because my kids have done projects I would have never thought of. I just have to make sure this isn't happening with all the things we are doing.

 

 

:grouphug::grouphug: I so relate to what everyone has said.

:iagree:

But the most important thing for me is that the medications I'm on have improved the quality of my life, so there must be something to all the talky-talk.

Yay!

 

I have read that ADHD is related to dopamine and I am on Cacao powder for it, though it seems I need to adjust my dose again. Also, when my thyroid is low it can cause a lot of the same symptoms.

[Lovedtodeath]

I have debated writing this for some time, but here goes:

 

It has become apparent in the past couple of months that my dosage of Adderall is no longer sufficient to treat ADD. At first I thought it was just the fact that dh was deployed, so I put off talking to my Dr. about it. I even talked to dh about it when he returned and he said that maybe it was just stress and it would normalize. I laid in bed last night thinking about writing this and my thoughts were so scattered I couldn't even calm it all down enough to do so.

 

Let me say first of all that this is NOT an excuse. I am not about to tell you that nothing is my fault because "poor me I have ADD so you can't blame me for anything". Not at all.

 

I will call my Dr. tomorrow because I have finally concluded that, yes, this is really a problem. So many things that needed to be done while dh was gone were forgotten. So much chaos, so much confusion because when I go to do ONE thing I do 17 different things, all with very different goals so that nothing is actually accomplished. Like yesterday:

 

I went to the bathroom and noticed that we were almost out of clean hand towels, so I went to the laundry room, after I washed my hands and changed laundry loads. While there I noticed the pine cone bird feeders we made last year and I never got around to putting outside. Then I remembered that I needed to mix the henna. Off to find the henna. Mixed up the henna and remembered that I needed to take meat out for dinner. While in the freezer for the meat I remembered that I needed to sweep the floor. Swept the floor, but couldn't find the dustpan so went off to look for it. There is more, so much more, but I think you get the picture. Also, I split this up into paragraps because it is easier for others to read and absolutely drives me crazy when people don't do that, but.....in my head it is all one paragraph, just all running together.

 

It is maddening. Absolutely maddening. Lately I read threads here and most of the time don't reply because by the time I get to the reply box it seems overwhelming to have all of the words that are whirring around in my head to line up so I can put them onto "paper". (the screen)

 

I know that this is different than normal. I know that it affects my kids. I hate that my family has to deal with it.

 

I'm just letting you know because even though I make jokes about it......I hate it.

I know how disappointing it is to not accomplish things by the time DH is home. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Thank you so much for starting this thread.

[mommymilkies]

Oh, I also just counted and I have 25 tabs open right now in my browser.:blushing: Every time my kids or husband walk by my computer they say, "Why don't you close some of those tabs? How do function like that?"

 

My question back is, "How in the world to you manage to only have one or two tabs open at a time??":tongue_smilie:

 

Oh my goodness!! Yes, this! I get frustrated trying to listen to people talk.

 

I can relate to so much that has been said. Especially the reputation/trustworthiness thing. This is the reason I can no longer run my photography business right now. I would run myself out of business. My life is chaos right now.....and when I was trying to add photography to the list, I wasn't following through on ordering, emails, etc.... I would run myself out of business in no time. So, instead, I've taken a step back.

 

Chaos. Oh the chaos. Normal, everyday situations feel like complete & utter chaos to me. If the living room is a bit of a mess and the kids pull out something else, or are being too loud I feel like I'm going to lose my mind. If we go to a restaurant and one of the children won't sit still and the other is trying to talk to me.....I feel like I'm going insane. Sometimes I beat myself up over it. Why can't I just be a normal, calm mom? Why do such little things get to me so easily?

 

And schooling. Oh, school. It is so hard for me. I can't organize my thoughts or plans. I really, really struggle. I think I'd do better with an all in one, completely laid out for me curriculum. But, I can't really afford that, and it isn't really what I want to do anyway. I worry that adding a kindergartener to the mix next year will set me over the edge.

 

Anyway.....yes, I understand. 110%

:iagree: I know this is an older thread, but I felt I needed to bump it up. My dh has always just told me I was crazy. :lol: I have to have 40 tabs open at a time, and I can't "just" watch TV. i have to be reading a book, knitting, eating, nursing a baby, and folding laundry while I watch. :lol: I am so distracted and my mind is going a thousand miles an hour. It drives me crazy and lately it's been getting almost impossible to deal with. What should I say to my PA? Can a PA diagnose because I like the PA but not the doc. :tongue_smilie:

 

So maybe I'm not crazy and it's just ADD?

[greenvneck]

What should I say to my PA? Can a PA diagnose because I like the PA but not the doc. :tongue_smilie:

 

 

I really love the PA at our doctor's office and much prefer her to any of the doctors in the practice. But she (and the doctors) said that they cannot diagnose ADHD, we had to see a psychiatrist for testing. They refused when my now-18yo was diagnosed at seven years old and again last year when I was diagnosed at 37 years old. I do have friends whose kids (or themselves) were diagnosed by their family doctors, though, so I guess it's possible. The process is not just a one-visit thing, though, there is a lot of paperwork and questions to go through (or should be!).

 

Good luck! Adderall has changed my life, I am so glad I finally got it together enough to make that psych appointment

[Hen]

wow you guys, some of this sounds so like me...I've never even considered talking to anyone about possible A.D.D. I've always just felt a bit ashamed of my inability to ever finish anything or do anything in a timely manner.

 

I've started labeling myself as "scattered". It's a joke in my house that I will get up to get something and get sidetracked by something else which leads to something else...it goes on and an hour later I turn around remembering I was getting a Math book and I turn around and see all my kids have taken off...

 

I can't fall asleep at night, my head is full of things, thoughts, lists...my husband falls asleep in seconds. I am always forgetting appointments, even standing ones, like the kid's lessons. DH helped me put appts. in my iphone and I set the alarm for Dr. appts. for 1 day before and then 1 hr. before -this works great, expect for the times I walk out of the office without entering it yet.

 

my email has about 2,000 emails in it and I cannot deal with it, it overwhelms me everytime I open it...I read each day for anything urgent, delete obvious spam or junk, but then leave stuff there that I want to respond to later or want to read later, and it just keeps growing. I keep thinking I should just abandon it and start a new email acct. It's the feeling- the looking at something that needs to be done and having this overwhelming/can't cope with it feeling and I just shut down.

 

the internet has been my undoing, I get on to do something and promptly forget what it was, but have a great time surfing.

 

I was smart enough years ago to recognize I have a problem with getting sidetracked so I ditched the Abeka...I couldn't handle having to constantly get up and get the different student books, flashcards, charts, etc.

 

I do feel like a personal failure mostly, and lazy. Now I am wondering if I should talk to my Dr. I'm also anemic, so yeah, I am lazy many days and have no energy to do anything. ugh.

[Carrie12345]

I really love the PA at our doctor's office and much prefer her to any of the doctors in the practice. But she (and the doctors) said that they cannot diagnose ADHD, we had to see a psychiatrist for testing. They refused when my now-18yo was diagnosed at seven years old and again last year when I was diagnosed at 37 years old. I do have friends whose kids (or themselves) were diagnosed by their family doctors, though, so I guess it's possible. The process is not just a one-visit thing, though, there is a lot of paperwork and questions to go through (or should be!).

 

Good luck! Adderall has changed my life, I am so glad I finally got it together enough to make that psych appointment

 

Emphasis on the "or should be."

My regular doc charted the dx and wrote me a script in one visit. If I had not been so confident in my own research (about ADD and med options and behavioral helps), I would have run in the other direction, because a general physician is NOT fully trained in that area.

 

I'm fighting the ins. co. for a full psychologist work up for dd. I'm fine with playing doctor for myself, but want to do it right for my kids, yk?

[mommymilkies]

:grouphug: Hen Jen, what you described is me to a T. Don't be so hard on yourself, though!

 

I talked to my PA about this yesterday. She laughed and when I said I didn't want ritalin or anything right now (I'm breastfeeding), she agreed that maybe seeing a counselor might help some. So she's supposed to get me a referral for one, but she didn't evaluate or diagnose me.