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Well, that's an on-going convo with myself/dh and God. I have one ds who I think of bringing to ps no less than once per week. What stops me? The fact that he would come home with more problems than it would be worth. How do I know this? He's my Aspie and we have troubles with him just going to AWANA or co-op or SS. I can't imagine what he'd come home with from ps...

Edited by mama2cntrykids
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Thinking it through. And talking it over with dh. We just felt like in the end that it wasn't the best for the child, no matter how frustrated I was.

 

:iagree:Same here. Other things that influenced our decision.... Both dc have activities with adult mentors that occur during the school day. Those would no longer be possible and we don't want to give them up. The local public school would be a last resort option and the private school that we would be most comfortable with we cannot afford. It's also quite a drive.

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So many times in the past two years! Goodness! But then I think that it would be more trouble than it's worth, honestly. While I wish I had time to give them a better education right now and that all the disasters of the world would stop landing at my feet so we could actually use all of the cool curriculum I have, I KNOW my kids are getting a good education. They are learning math, grammar, and reading lots of good books. We squeeze spelling and some science, history, and writing in at least once a week.

My kids get along really well with one another and in social situations while I think they sometimes come across as a bit nerdy they seem to be accepted and well liked by most of the people they meet. I KNOW my kids and I'm afraid that if they were in school while I am so busy running around cleaning up life we would loose touch with each other. Now, we take our moments when they are available. I'm not stuck to a school schedule.

My oldest has attachment issues that would cause a lot of problems if she was in school. A. LOT. OF. PROBLEMS. The thought sends me into a mini panic attack.

Last but not least, every time I start to consider public school some mom comes up to me with wistful eyes and says, "Your so lucky. I wish I could homeschool." Every single time. No lie.

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Money. I was going to put both of my middles in Catholic school for 2nd and 4th. We did send dd (4th grade), but just couldn't swing the finances for the 2nd grader, and we had a great homeschool group, but it was ALL boys (unless you counted the one high school girl, my toddler, or an infant), so dd got to go to school where she at least had a chance to be around other girls. We belonged to a different parish that we loved, so had to pay the active Catholic, but non-parishioner rate, even though our pastor campaigned to get us the lower rate by offering to pay a subsidy.

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I'm at that point right now. Money is the big thing. The school I would drop my oldest DD in would cost 20k/yr. It is a specialized school for children with learning disabilities. And the money is tax deductible as a medical expense because the school provides all kinds of special services and therapies. But in addition to the costs, the school is about 30 minutes from home. And I would not want her on that bus ride; to the school, then transfer to another bus, then a 30 min ride. The younger one, I'd put her in our local elementary school in a heartbeat. But I can't do one and not the other. It just wouldn't work here.

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Money. I would have put my eldest dd in school 2 years ago if I had a spare $1200/month. The others are fine, but teens present special challenges. A good friend/mentor who has put one through college and whose second enters college next year has had to talk me down from the ledge several times.

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Have any of you been on the brink of putting your dc in school (any school) and then just couldn't? What stopped you?

 

Yes. DS#1 was almost 8, and it was becoming clear that many things we had been chalking up to immaturity were in fact something more. Everyday was becoming a battle, school and just family life, and I was ready to wave the white flag.

 

What stopped me were the following, in order of importance:

 

-because we had moved at his pace, he would have been behind grade level. I was/am confident that his love of learning and his acctual abilities would have been eclipsed and damaged by his need to approach material in a different way.

 

-because I realized that, if I parented/educated the kid I had, instead of the kid I was trying to force him to be, I could be a much more effective educator than the school system.

 

-because DS would have been eaten by the pack if we had put him in with his quirkiness in full swing.

 

-because the mention of attending regular school caused him to cry and beg to stay home.

 

*cue sarcasm

 

-because I would have had to spend the rest of my natural life hearing how I ruined his education and failed at homeschooling from my very supportive extended family. :glare:

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I am right there now - if my DD didn't have the special needs that she does I would have already enrolled her.

 

I'm still on the fence of trying to decide whether her SN's will be best met at home or school - which one will cause the least lasting emotional damage :confused1:

 

The other reason is that we live in a low-socioeconomic rural area and the State schools here are pure evil. We can't afford the only private school (and it's booked out anyway) and the only other good school is a 30 minute drive away which I can't make with having to pick up my 4yo from Pre-K locally at the same time.

 

My DD did go to public Pre-K and did amazingly well in the class - but the circumstances were different. It was only 3 hours long (she could hold herself together for that long then melted down the minute she walked in the door at home) and it was play-based -they had free reign to pick and choose their activities all day. My DD loves art/craft and spent almost the entire time every day working on her own creations which means she was happy and content. They did no academic work.

 

The second my DD is asked to do anything she hates ie reading or writing - she melts down and refuses to do it. Sitting at a desk is not a great match for her - at least I don't think so. I'm still trying to consider whether she might do for a teacher what she won't for me.

 

Her Pre-K teachers did note on her report card that she was a "very independent learner" which translates to -she is an angel when she is doing what she has chosen to do but the minute she is asked to do something she dislikes she turns into the devil.

 

She's the kind of kid who would be a perfect unschooler because she is so motivated to engage in all types of projects of her own making. Unfortunately we live in a State where we have to gain permission to homeschool and it's only allowed if we follow certain guidelines and content (ie basically follow the state school curriculum and standards). So unschooling just isn't going to work when I have to show lesson plans and portfolios of content that they choose.

Edited by sewingmama
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Ooooh, pick me!

 

I've been having a really tough year with my son and feeling very hopeless about it all. Before our holiday break, I had decided I was done and was ready to put him in school bright and early first day of the second semester.

 

I was so sure I was done, I had pulled my remaining lesson plans for the year out of my binder and tossed them, printed and started filling out the enrollment forms . . .

 

What stopped me was my husband. He feels strongly that, even though homeschooling is far less than perfect, for this particular kid, school would be worse.

 

He's not wrong.

 

I'm just really tired.

 

Fortunately, it appears that my son understood just how close he came to this and has been much more compliant the last couple of weeks. It's still not good, but it has been a bit better.

 

Tomorrow, I'm supposed to write new lesson plans.

 

Sigh.

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Yes. Because I worry about him being just stuck at home all day

instead of being with kids his own age.

 

What stopped me is that (1) school is a pain and (2)

he will get a better education at home.

 

I would have to get up at 6 AM, not see my kid

all day, have my kid be subjected to suboptimal

education, not have any fun, then pick up my kid, watch him

do senseless homework that he doesn't learn anything

from, and then try to afterschool him. He would also

want to still do the extracurriculars he does now,

so we wouldn't have any time left to live or spend time

with his dad.

Edited by jhschool
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