Myra Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 I know that it is frowned upon to use "this paper will" in a thesis sentence. Could you help my 10th grader restate his thesis sentence? Bouncing from the alien planet of Tralfamadore to the fire bombing of Dresden, Slaughterhouse-Five is a trip for your brain. Kurt Vonnegut's novel Slaughterhouse-Five is an American classic and one of the greatest antiwar books ever written. This paper will explore the novel's historical context and the author's background as well as give a brief summary of this book's plot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8filltheheart Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 I know that it is frowned upon to use "this paper will" in a thesis sentence. Could you help my 10th grader restate his thesis sentence? Bouncing from the alien planet of Tralfamadore to the fire bombing of Dresden, Slaughterhouse-Five is a trip for your brain. Kurt Vonnegut's novel Slaughterhouse-Five is an American classic and one of the greatest antiwar books ever written. This paper will explore the novel's historical context and the author's background as well as give a brief summary of this book's plot. Myra, I only have a sec, so here are my brief and, I apologize upfront, rather pointed thoughts. I would not accept any of the paragraph from one of my high schoolers. The first sentence is slang and the 2nd sentence is an absolute. The 3rd sentence, which I understand from your post is supposed to be the thesis statement, does not contain an arguable/provable contention. Historical context/author background/plot summary are book report material and not really "thesis" writing. This link gives a brief summary of how one goes about creating a thesis statement: http://writingcenter.unc.edu/resources/handouts-demos/writing-the-paper/thesis-statements If you look at the paragraph you have posted, Vonnegut's anti-war view would be a possible theme for a thesis statement. Then your child would need to pull evidence from Slaughterhouse Five to prove his contention. I would have your child spend some time reading the link or search for other links which discuss thesis statements and see if they help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EKS Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 I don't think you can have a thesis statement for a paper like this. A thesis statement encapsulates your point, what you're going to prove in the paper. A paper that simply lays out historical context, author background, and a plot summary would probably need a general introduction but not a thesis statement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ester Maria Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 I would not accept any of the paragraph from one of my high schoolers. The first sentence is slang and the 2nd sentence is an absolute. The 3rd sentence, which I understand from your post is supposed to be the thesis statement, does not contain an arguable/provable contention. Historical context/author background/plot summary are book report material and not really "thesis" writing. I agree. Even though self-referencing of the paper is something that students are generally taught to avoid, it is not nearly as problematic as the overly colloquial beginning, the "journalist" use of the second person, or the absolute claims of the kind brought up in the second sentence. There is no real "thesis" in this example, it sounds like a summary kind of a paper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cbollin Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 I'm curious what kind of writing assignment this is. I read the sentences and it sounds like a book report or review or summary? http://homeworktips.about.com/od/writingabookreport/a/report.htm ?-crystal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myra Posted January 9, 2012 Author Share Posted January 9, 2012 I guess I should have confessed up front - this was the introductory paragraph that my son was given at his cc class for writing a book report on Slaughter House Five! I was trying to give him a sample alternative that was more "academic mainstream" for the future but was coming up blank. I appreciate your links esp the ones that show a book report introduction so we can discuss an alternative! Thanks everyone, Myra Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8filltheheart Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 I guess I should have confessed up front - this was the introductory paragraph that my son was given at his cc class for writing a book report on Slaughter House Five! I was trying to give him a sample alternative that was more "academic mainstream" for the future but was coming up blank. I appreciate your links esp the ones that show a book report introduction so we can discuss an alternative! Thanks everyone, Myra I thought our CCs were subpar. I cannot imagine any college level composition or literature class focusing on a book report. I think you are very wise in encouraging him to understand more "academic mainstream" alternatives. BTW, I am curious, was the paragraph pre-written and given to the students? I would be :cursing::banghead: if I had paid tuition for a class and an English teacher passed that out to my student unless it was used as a tool on what not to do. If pre-written and an actual representative assignment is the correct scenario, I would have my student go and seek the head of the department. :tongue_smilie: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 I don't think you can have a thesis statement for a paper like this. A thesis statement encapsulates your point, what you're going to prove in the paper. A paper that simply lays out historical context, author background, and a plot summary would probably need a general introduction but not a thesis statement. Yes, but some teachers require this, even though it is a misplaced requirement. To rewrite the thesis statement like those kinds of teachers would, one could perhaps say, "The plot, illumined by the novel's historical context and its author's background, uses jagged imagery, taut writing, and a tremendous range of settings to argue for an anti-war stance." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EKS Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 this was the introductory paragraph that my son was given at his cc class for writing a book report on Slaughter House Five! That is truly frightening! (This makes me happy we decided to go with a private IB school over community college for my older son.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teachin'Mine Posted January 14, 2012 Share Posted January 14, 2012 (edited) I guess I should have confessed up front - this was the introductory paragraph that my son was given at his cc class for writing a book report on Slaughter House Five! I was trying to give him a sample alternative that was more "academic mainstream" for the future but was coming up blank. I appreciate your links esp the ones that show a book report introduction so we can discuss an alternative! Thanks everyone, Myra Are you sure that paragraph was given to him, as written, by the professor? Honestly, I find that very hard to believe. Is this a regular composition class, a literary one, or is it college preparatory and they're just trying to get students to write? In re-reading the paragraph, could it be that this is what the professor wrote to set the stage for their reading of the novel and what their paper will be about? IOW was this just a statement of what the assignment is about, and it was misinterpreted as the introductory paragraph for the paper? Edited January 14, 2012 by Teachin'Mine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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