lynn Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 My ds has a best bud down the street. Our dilema.... I have met and spent some time with the mother, so I know them well enough to say they are good people that I feel my son can spend time at their house. Their son is always asking for my son to sleep over which I allow a couple times a month but I inturn do not care for sleep overs at my house can just say no when ds asks. The mother called yesterday asking if my son could go with them to visit relatives 1 hr away because there was no one there her ds age and wanted him to have someone to play with. I felt okay with this but dh does not feel we know these people well enough and so I told the mother no. I feel bad because I understood why the mother wanted ds to go but on the other hand we didn't know the people they were visiting at all. I think the mother was offended. This is not a question of whose right me or dh. Just wondering do you let your 8 year old go off with his bestfriends family for a day like that? To many issues in todays society? Excuse the rambling been up with 2 year old since 4A Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Journey Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 Hi: I think there comes a time when we as parents need to stop worrying about what other people think of us or the way we choose to do things with our kids. If you and/or your husband feel funny about sending your LITTLE boy on a trip with people who are basically strangers, then who cares what anyone else thinks! I wouldn't do it and my youngest is 13. I doubt I would even let her go with people who I know. It's just not something that I, as her mom, feels comfortable about. These are our children and they were placed into our care and we have to do what we feel is best for them. You would never forgive yourself if something were to happen and for all you know, the people who live far away could be drug dealers! I mean, I doubt they are but you never know. If that other mom is upset with you then that shows what kind of character she has. Don't worry about it. Keep him home and take him to play miniature golf or something! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2cents Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 Hi: I think there comes a time when we as parents need to stop worrying about what other people think of us or the way we choose to do things with our kids. If you and/or your husband feel funny about sending your LITTLE boy on a trip with people who are basically strangers, then who cares what anyone else thinks! :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynn Posted June 9, 2008 Author Share Posted June 9, 2008 Hi: I think there comes a time when we as parents need to stop worrying about what other people think of us or the way we choose to do things with our kids. If you and/or your husband feel funny about sending your LITTLE boy on a trip with people who are basically strangers, then who cares what anyone else thinks! I wouldn't do it and my youngest is 13. I doubt I would even let her go with people who I know. It's just not something that I, as her mom, feels comfortable about. These are our children and they were placed into our care and we have to do what we feel is best for them. You would never forgive yourself if something were to happen and for all you know, the people who live far away could be drug dealers! I mean, I doubt they are but you never know. If that other mom is upset with you then that shows what kind of character she has. Don't worry about it. Keep him home and take him to play miniature golf or something! You'd think I would get over being concerned what other people think of my choices...lol I know we did the right thing. The mother is a really nice person and I understand why she asked, it did suprise me but I guess somethings just don't concern other people like they do me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3lilreds in NC Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 I think you made the right decision. I don't know that I'd feel comfortable letting my 8 yo dd go an hour away with another family. It would REALLY depend on the family. I can think of a couple of families we know with whom we *might* be OK to allow that, but honestly, they are also the families who are the least likely to ask because they are as protective about their kids as we are, you know? It's always better to err on the side of caution. There is nothing wrong with saying no. The mom might have seemed offended, and perhaps she was, but more likely she's annoyed that the perfect-seeming plan she had in her head isn't going to work out like she thought. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 Depending on your relationship with the other mom, I'd tell her why too. Just let her know it wasn't the out of town part, or them, just the unknowns in the scenario. If she couldn't accept that graciously, that's her problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 You did the right thing. My dh would have said no at that age as well. Even if you feel comfortable with the mom, you don't know the relatives. Just too many unknown factors. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tracey in TX Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 My ds has a best bud down the street. Our dilema.... I have met and spent some time with the mother, so I know them well enough to say they are good people that I feel my son can spend time at their house. Their son is always asking for my son to sleep over which I allow a couple times a month but I inturn do not care for sleep overs at my house can just say no when ds asks. The mother called yesterday asking if my son could go with them to visit relatives 1 hr away because there was no one there her ds age and wanted him to have someone to play with. I felt okay with this but dh does not feel we know these people well enough and so I told the mother no. I feel bad because I understood why the mother wanted ds to go but on the other hand we didn't know the people they were visiting at all. I think the mother was offended. This is not a question of whose right me or dh. Just wondering do you let your 8 year old go off with his bestfriends family for a day like that? To many issues in todays society? Excuse the rambling been up with 2 year old since 4A Generally I would not allow DCs to go to family event one hour away with another family. There's no reason for it. Love having my children play with friends, but it's not our job to be an entertainment factor if family situation isn't ideal for keeping another kiddo from being bored. If her DS doesn't want to go with his family, maybe you could offer having her child hang out at your house for a few hours. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMindy Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 My ds has a best bud down the street. Our dilema.... I have met and spent some time with the mother, so I know them well enough to say they are good people that I feel my son can spend time at their house. Their son is always asking for my son to sleep over which I allow a couple times a month but I inturn do not care for sleep overs at my house can just say no when ds asks. The mother called yesterday asking if my son could go with them to visit relatives 1 hr away because there was no one there her ds age and wanted him to have someone to play with. I felt okay with this but dh does not feel we know these people well enough and so I told the mother no. I feel bad because I understood why the mother wanted ds to go but on the other hand we didn't know the people they were visiting at all. I think the mother was offended. This is not a question of whose right me or dh. Just wondering do you let your 8 year old go off with his bestfriends family for a day like that? To many issues in todays society? Excuse the rambling been up with 2 year old since 4A I wouldn't let mine do it, but I don't do sleep-overs at other people's houses at all. Was it just for the day or was it overnight? If I felt comfortable enough for my kids to be at their house, I would probably let them go for the day (not overnight). But, I don't let my kids go to very many peoples' houses. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Academy of Jedi Arts Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 I guess I'm in the minority, but dd6 can go to the amusement park 2 hours away or even the beach for the weekend with friends if she's invited. The chance of something bad happening to her is so very minute, and realistically, something bad could happen to her in my care just as easily as it could someone else's. That's not to say I don't worry. But I am a worrier by nature, so I'm used to it:tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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