Art for a child paralyzed by perfectionism?

[sunnylady303]

My just barely 8YO DD is a perfectionist. It has held her back in reading because she hates to have to guess and get things wrong. Math, on the other hand she zips through happily because it all makes sense to her and is concrete. She loves messing with our art supplies but pretty much always gets upset because what she draws or paints looks nothing like what she wants it to. She'll look at pictures or images and wish she could draw those things. The desire to be able to is so strong but the paralysis caused by it not living up to her expectations is real. We have lots of talks about process versus product but it doesn't seem to help.

 

So I am wondering if a learning to draw, learning to paint type book wouldn't help, so that her drawings could start looking more like she wants them to. Maybe? Thoughts?

 

Anyway are there books like that that an 8YO could learn from? I feel like I can't help (I was similarly weighed down in art my whole life) and my 5YO is so the opposite. She just goes for it and could care less what it looks like and often it's pretty awesome but she just has so much fun doing it. Kids are so different.

 

Anyway. Any recommendations? Thanks.

[Farrar]

There are good books that are nice and simple - Ed Emberley's books, Mark Kistler's books and online program... I wouldn't do anything official with them though for a perfectionist. I would get her resources like that and leave it up to her. Zero pressure. No lessons or anything formal.

[Bang!Zoom!]

How about an immersion into abstract art & artists?

[LAS in LA]

Drawing with Children by Mona Brooks might give her some basic skills at breaking things down. It teaches types of lines, how to "see" those in an object, and then draw the object based on what is seen.

 

The picture book "The Dot" might also give her an idea about how to be creative.

[PhotoGal]

I wonder if drawing books would be frustrating for her as well because she would compare hers with the book's version? She might get frustrated knowing what the drawing is "supposed" to look like if hers doesn't, kwim?

 

There are a few cute picture books about art/perfectionism:

 

"Ish" by Peter Reynolds

 

"The Dot" by Peter Reynolds

 

"Beautiful Oops" by Barney Saltzberg

[matrips]

we've had good luck with the Ed Emberly books (also available at the library, ours at least) and the Draw Write Now books, as well as some of the Usborne books- I Can Draw Animals, I Can Draw People, and What Shall I Draw Today. All these books have pretty simple step by step directions to end up with a nice drawing. The kids and I all use these and are happily surprised that our pictures look pretty good! None of us are good artists, so we always pull out these if we need/want to make something.

[boscopup]

We've used Draw Write Now here.

 

Another thing that has helped a lot is that I draw with my son. That seems to help him, because he sees that mine isn't perfect either. The steps in DWN are easy to follow. Even my 4 year old was able to draw the pictures, and you could roughly tell what they were usually. My son got a lot of confidence with that book because each step was there for him to copy, and that made his drawing look like what it was supposed to. Those drawings also aren't perfect drawings (ie, they don't look "real"), so it's a bit easier to make them look "good enough", because it's not supposed to look completely real. They're meant to be more cartoony looking.

 

I need to pull DWN out again. My son has reverted to stick figures only again. :tongue_smilie: When notebooking about Buddhist monks in caves, he drew a cave with a stick figure monk and a stick figure Buddha statue. :lol:

[kiana]

We've used Draw Write Now here.

 

Another thing that has helped a lot is that I draw with my son. That seems to help him, because he sees that mine isn't perfect either. The steps in DWN are easy to follow. Even my 4 year old was able to draw the pictures, and you could roughly tell what they were usually. My son got a lot of confidence with that book because each step was there for him to copy, and that made his drawing look like what it was supposed to. Those drawings also aren't perfect drawings (ie, they don't look "real"), so it's a bit easier to make them look "good enough", because it's not supposed to look completely real. They're meant to be more cartoony looking.

 

I need to pull DWN out again. My son has reverted to stick figures only again. :tongue_smilie: When notebooking about Buddhist monks in caves, he drew a cave with a stick figure monk and a stick figure Buddha statue. :lol:

 

Yes, drawing with her sounds like a great idea. Seeing that adults don't do things perfectly either may help.

 

(Unless of course you are a very skilled artist yourself, lol.)

[foxbridgeacademy]

DD 8 is similar to your daughter. She loves crafting but always feels like it's not "right". She recently watched the free Mark Kistler videos and is doing great. Her drawing has improved 100% and so has her ability to "let go" of the imperfections.

[EmilyGF]

My son was like that. For example, in August, he drew 10 identical "clowns" (circle face, triangle hat, etc) when I forced him to sit down and draw for half an hour.

 

After a semester of taking a Drawing with Children class, he is a changed boy. He enjoys drawing for fun, knows ways to change things he doesn't like, and attempts new things. I've been really impressed.

 

Emily

[Jay3fer]

We are using Draw Write Now and I like it... but if your dd is a perfectionist, like a couple of others, I might suggest varying your approach.

 

We bought Meet the Masters and I'm alternating one MTM lesson with one DWN lesson so our art varies format and medium. MTM focuses on introducing great artists in an easy, scripted way. It then teaches ONE new technique, sometimes with a new medium, to try to create the same KIND of work as the artist... without reproducing the actual paintings themselves.

That way, dd6 is getting good copying practice - from DWN, learning about other artists who all have different styles of their own - from MtM, learning new techniques - from MtM, and in between, we play around with our Start Exploring Masterpieces colouring book or free online colouring pages.

 

I hope this approach balances her natural desire to do things right with the concept that artists EXPLORE and INNOVATE fearlessly... maybe. :-)))

[Medieval Mom]

Perfection can be an asset in classical art. Choose one simple shape, a circle, square, star, a heart, triangle, curve and let her practice it again and again and again. It's how the Great Masters learned. Let her trace, yes trace! Let her move on to more complex shapes, a leaf, a fish, over and over agian, like learning how to write her letters. She's learning how to write shapes :) Also, coloring books.

 

After she's perfected a couple dozen shapes, i.e., after several years, perhaps, move on to books like Drawing Textbook ( McIntyre) or What to Draw (Lutz). Caligraphy is a good step, here, too, as well as ornamental flourishes prevalent in iluminated manuscripts.

 

The best portrait artists I know today still practice to perfection their basic shapes and strokes. :)

[Staceyshoe]

I don't have any suggestions for teaching art, but I did see this book: Beautiful Oops! about how a paint spill, a hole in your page, a crumpled edge, etc can be turned into something beautiful. I saw that our local library has it, so I reserved it for my little perfectionist.

[LindaOz]

My dd9 is like that with art too. We have been doing some nature painting where she gets a flower or specimen of something from the garden and puts it in front of her to copy. I actually had my kids do this the other day using brush drawing (not using pencil lines first, but almost dry brush straight onto the paper) and dd9 did really well. Normally, she would be erasing pencil lines left, right, and center because it wasn't 'right'. With the paint she had no choice and seemed to do well. Maybe worth a try?

 

We are also dabbling a little in Artistic Pursuits which doesn't require the child to exactly replicate something - it's more open ended with room for own expression. Maybe that would work?

 

Just some ideas.

[MeganW]

I have one of these as well, and we are currently struggling with the exact same problems that you are describing with the reading, so it gives me hope that you have gotten past it!

 

For drawing, we have had some luck with really breaking things down into small pieces. One day we worked on drawing Christmas tree lights (curvy wire, square base, oval bulb). We talked about what can make it look strange - bulbs not being evenly spaced, not having bulbs the same size, etc. (I demonstrate by drawing them wonky, and having the kids pick out why they look weird. Huge fun to laugh at Mommy's strange drawings!)

 

The next day, we worked on drawing ornaments. Again, discussions before we started about what can make them look weird. The next day, we practiced drawing presents. Only after we had mastered each piece did we attempt to draw a Christmas tree, and we added the lights, ornaments, and presents underneath that had been previously practiced.

 

Also, before every drawing lesson, we reiterate the rule: it takes TEN good-effort tries to learn to do something. You are EXPECTED to mess up the first NINE times. By the 10th time you have given it a good effort, you will have learned how to do it. Needless to say, it always fun to beat Momma by showing her that you can do it after "only" six tries!!! Somehow knowing that she isn't expected to get it right until she has really tried ten times takes the pressure off for my perfectionist. With drawing at least! If only it worked for reading....

Edited December 20, 2011 by MeganW

[Medieval Mom]

Also, before every drawing lesson, we reiterate the rule: it takes TEN good-effort tries to learn to do something. You are EXPECTED to mess up the first NINE times. By the 10th time you have given it a good effort, you will have learned how to do it. Needless to say, it always fun to beat Momma by showing her that you can do it after "only" six tries!!! Somehow knowing that she isn't expected to get it right until she has really tried ten times takes the pressure off for my perfectionist. With drawing at least! If only it worked for reading....

 

We did this with piano lessons for ds. It works! :)