Homeschooling culture/community bias. VENT

[Joanne]

I'm registering my oldest son for an outsourced math class this year. 2 days a week, 1.5 hours. Reasonable cost ($50 a month). I'm hoping my budget will be ready to handle that by August. I'm especially glad that the teacher is a friend and my participation (and that of one of my homeschool clients) will benefit her family.

 

But they won't let me register without "Father's Name". The assumption irks me. The mandatory inclusion irks me.

 

I used my husband's name. :D

[chiguirre]

:iagree:

 

Our hs group has blanks for last name, father's name and mother's name. It seems to blow their mind that we can actually have different last names. :confused:

[beansprouts]

That is odd. What a pain!

[Heather in the Kootenays]

I threatened to put "father unknown" in a similar form. And I too have a different name from dh which bothers some people. Our kids have my name too which leads them all to assume falsely that a) we aren't married and b) they aren't his kids.

 

I try to be amused, rather than annoyed but it works better some days than others.

[Jean in Newcastle]

What are they going to use it for? If it is just for bureaucracy's sake - you could just have a fake name that you use for those forms - like "Xavier" (actually that's my FIL's name. . .)

 

It is like when people ask me for my "first name" (just in conversation). I give them the name I go by.

[C_l_e_0..Q_c]

Where I live very few women switch to their husband's last name when they marry. So everywhere I go, there's no assumption about having the same family name as your DH. *EXCEPT* in the homeschooling community!

 

I don't know why, it's probably a religious reason, but it really raises eyebrows in the homeschool community that I don't have my DH's last name, and worse yet, that my two kids don't have the same last name. The boy has DH's, the girl has mine.

[Old Dominion Heather]

The boy has DH's, the girl has mine.

 

I think that is really cool. If I hadn't had such a non-descript last name, I would have kept mine. I wish my mom and her mom had kept theirs... both beautiful English/Welsh names.

[camibami]

DH and I have different last names, too, and the kids are hyphenated so they have both. I have had people ask me if others think I am the girls stepmom. I always reply that I could care less if they DO- the girls know who their momma is, so who else matters?

 

I have noticed a fair bit of father-obsession in home school groups these days- like having only the father sign SOF. Um, DH has very little to do with anything the children and I do with the home school group (he's working, duh!) so I would *think* his beliefs were irrelevant, you know? But whatever- I am thankful wenow live in a diverse area where we no longer have to play thsoe groups silly little games!

 

Cami

[swellmomma]

Allowing a place for a father's name doesn't bother me but mandatory! That stinks! What if they are adopted by a single woman and legally have no father?! What if any contact with him would be dangerous? :eek:

 

Mandatory is ridiculous. What could possibly be an issue for which they would have to have the information of the non-custodial parent?

 

I think you did fine. For all practical purposes your dh is their father.

 

I agree. I am a single mom, the 1st 2 from my marriage but he has not seen then in 7 years, I would not put his name on any forms I have sole custody, the 2nd 2 I have via sperm donation, there is no father. I would be raising heck if I was told my kids couldn't participate because I was not writing a father's name down. How would they respond if on father's name I wrote God, lol after all he is the father of all fathers right.

[Tracey in TX]

How would they respond if on father's name I wrote God, lol after all he is the father of all fathers right.

 

What a tremendous idea! That would raise a few eyebrows;);)

[Joanne]

Just to clarify, I am not upset that "Father's Name" was listed on the forms. I'm upset that it was mandatory that I fill that part out in order to register my kid, pay them money and attend class.

 

I hear you, also, on the last name issue - I kept my maiden name even after my remarriage. But that's not what irked me and inspired this thread.

[Mamagistra]

Very slightly off-topic...I used to get extraordinarily irked by the standard request for a telephone number made by chain store cashiers nowadays. Dee-aitch and I, however, are now happy to comply by providing our area code and number. Them youngsters never blink an eye.

 

:lol::lol:

[Momto5]

:lol:

 

Please, please, write down God under father. I think that is the best!

[wagnfun]

Just to clarify, I am not upset that "Father's Name" was listed on the forms. I'm upset that it was mandatory that I fill that part out in order to register my kid, pay them money and attend class.

 

I hear you, also, on the last name issue - I kept my maiden name even after my remarriage. But that's not what irked me and inspired this thread.

 

 

In todays society I think thats just crazy. I think I would have either written n/a or duplicated my name (mothers) on both the father and mother line.

[Rosie_0801]

Do you think "Unavailable" is a rude answer?

:)

Rosie