Gratitude

[laughing lioness]

Is this something that you "teach" your kids. If so, how?

[DawnM]

By example I am sure.....don't know because I still need to get it myself! :tongue_smilie:

[Kathleen in VA]

By example mainly. I think the natural tendency for most folks is to complain - I know that's true for me - so I have to make a very determined effort to be thankful and voice it for my children to hear.

 

If someone gives us something I might say something like, "Wasn't that thoughtful of _______?" I try to thank my children for all they do for me - chores, favors, and, of course, gifts. I try to remember to thank others for kindnesses in front of my children. Writing thoughtful thank-you notes is essential, too.

 

I often remind my children that their father works very hard every day to provide them with the things they have. They take this for granted (as do I) much too often. One way of bringing this to the forefront of our thoughts is to suggest that Dad gets the biggest helping of whatever we are eating, or the last cookie, or the best seat while we watch a movie, or quiet while he takes a much needed nap. On special occasions - especially if Dad goes to the trouble to cook out on the grill - we may borrow from Dickens' A Christmas Carol and say a short toast, "To Dad, the founder of the feast." It's one of his favorite movies so he gets a kick out of that.:)

 

Most importantly, I try to make sure my children know that everything we have is a gift from God. I try to say often, "God has been very good to us," or "God is very gracious to us." By U.S. standards we would probably be considered lower middle class - maybe even poor by some. We rarely take a vacation, all our cars are and have been old clunkers, we live in a small house, we buy our clothes at Goodwill (and even that's a strain at times) and our food budget is small. But even on a bad day, we live like kings compared to the rest of the world and we live better than the kings of past centuries. We have hot running water, air conditioning, plenty to eat, enough to wear, soft, warm beds where we can safely lay our heads each night. It is very easy to take those things for granted but they really are luxuries and I try to point that out to my kids often.

Edited October 26, 2011 by Kathleen in VA

[bzymom]

This is something definitely taught by example.

 

Particularly once they hit the teen years around here, the reminder is always "Less Attitude, More Gratitude".

[Karen in CO]

I think it is a mixture, and I think the ingredients are example, appreciation, and something else. I don't think people can feel gratitude without appreciating what they have which means understanding the true value of whatever it is. They also need a good example so that they will know how to name and understand what they see and and feel. However, each person brings an additional part of his self into the equation. People aren't machines that you can add specific input and get predictable output.

[twoforjoy]

My DS has a tendency to be a complainer.

 

We add a few things to a gratitude list each morning before we start school.

 

And, when he complains about something (or someone, particularly his little sister), I have him say three things about that thing/person that he appreciates.

[rieshy]

Is this something that you "teach" your kids. If so, how?

 

I think that the harder a person works the easier it is to be grateful. So I "teach" my kids to have an attitude of gratitude by teaching/expecting them to work.

 

For example: My children all have chores- which means I can sometimes, as a gift, do a chore for them. So if daughter "a" has breakfast dishes for the month and I know she has a hard school day ahead of her- I can quietly do the dishes for her. She then knows the full value of the work and is very grateful. If she didn't normally have that responsibility - she would take it for granted.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I don't know where I read this, perhaps it was here, but someone said that at bedtime, they had their children name three things that were good about each day. It makes the children reflect on the good things and be thankful for them. I try to do this with my kids before we read stories each night. I forget sometimes, and when we start back up again, I realize how much more they do appreciate things when they take the time to really think about how much good is in their lives.

[Blueridge]

We pray with thankfulness every morning. If dh brings me some little something, I always hug him and thank him in front of the girls. When one of them does something kind, I try to always acknowledge that in front of them all. Sometimes, when the breeze outside is particularly cool and refreshing, or when a meal is unusually delicious, I mention it. When we run across that character trait in our readings, I pause and point it out. We just watched a movie called The Twilight Samurai, as we were wrapping up Japan. It was full of wonderful character qualities, and the characters were full of gratitude for things in their lives, and we talked about that being so special and important. When our food supplies get a little sparse, I make a fuss over the turkey I found at the bottom of the freezer. The more we all practice gratitude, the more grateful we become. :)

[J-rap]

I try and model it, mostly by pointing out little blessings in our every day lives. It's easier to see the bigger ones of course, but I think it's recognizing the smaller ones that really helps us to have grateful hearts.

 

This year has been a very difficult one for my family: my husband's life is forever changed, my kids were ripped from their home in one night, and lived out of a suitcase for over a year as we followed my husband from hospital to hospital. And yet, we found so much kindness from others in our every day lives, so many little things that made our days brighter. It would have been so easy to concentrate on all the negatives; I tried hard to point out the positives, even tiny ones. (Not to say there weren't days that I didn't want to focus only on the awfulness of it all, of course!)

 

On a side, I've read many autobiographies over the years, probably several hundred. Many of them had a major impact on me. They were stories of people overcoming adversities, and being thankful for the tiniest blessings when it seemed they had nothing. I have my own kids read these books, too.:)

[Lara in Colo]

I agree with the above posters.

 

I try to show that we appreciate DH's sacrifice.

We point out how God has helped us and we thank Him.

We write thank you notes for gifts and include thanks for the other person just thinking of them and loving them (not just the gift).

 

Here is more of the lesson part:

 

I have a child do something that they would normally take for granted---

 

example: last week I had dd11 make lunch for everyone.

She was proud of her efforts and had worked hard.

 

DD8 ate and left the table.

DD9 ate and barely commented on the effort or complemented the food.

Ds 6 whined about the food and refused to eat.

 

DD11 had her feelings hurt, saw the effects of people not appreciating what you do and is so much more grateful when I cook.

[Negin]

This is a wonderful thread and I love reading all the replies.

We often do the name 3 things we're grateful for at the end of the day with our evening prayers, but sometimes we forget or we're too tired.

 

If someone gives us something I might say something like, "Wasn't that thoughtful of _______?" I try to thank my children for all they do for me - chores, favors, and, of course, gifts.

Kathleen, I really enjoyed your post. :grouphug:

Enjoyed all of them actually. :)