2yr old advice needed

[Amirah]

my son is almost 2.5 and i am sure this is probably just the terrible 2's but i feel like i am at a lost sometimes. this is my first child and me and my husband are pretty much alone as our families live in different countries than us. i have no experience with kids so i feel like i am screwing him up because i dont know how to do stuff.

 

 

he doesn't talk yet and we dont plan to do speech therapy until 3yr. because we are doing one parent one language (arabic/english) and i read that there could be a delay in speech but he is not delayed in non verbal.

 

he just started eating solids. I was overfeeding him milk and not enough food he got low iron and just stopped eating totally. this was my fault because i had no clue that yo have to cut down on the bottle when u start solids. he is eating a variety of stuff now but tiny amounts and he screams and cries when he sees food. then he eats a bite and usually eats the whole amount.

 

he gets bored easily. he only likes to do stuff for like 5 minutes and thats it. he pretty much just just throws stuff everywhere.

 

so what i am am asking is advice on raising a toddler any advice is helpful.

 

how do i encourage talking in either language( he understands both but wont speak either)?

 

what do i feed this kid? i feel like im starting from scratch with food and have no clue what they like at this age?(we don't do prepackaged or canned foods)

 

what kind of activities should i do with him at home?

 

does it get better? plz tell me it gets better! i feel so overwhelmed sometime to the point i don't want to even have more kids after him. I do love kids though and would like to have atleast 3 or 4 if i survive this one

 

any help is appreciated

[solascriptura]

Have you had him evaluated for speech delays? 2.5 is a really tough age. Do not give up your dreams of having a larger family because of your son's difficulties.

 

In terms of food, offer what you eat, but reduce the spices/salt. Kids that age don't generally like large chunks of meat. Does he have all of his teeth? Make sure to avoid juices and sugary drinks because they will reduce appetite. Offer him cut up pieces of soft fruits and vegetables to begin as well.

 

A short attention span is pretty typical of that age, but if you have any concerns have him evaluated. It would be better to ease your mind than to constantly worry about his development.

 

Do you have any support groups or play groups that you attend? It would be good to have support/company at this difficult age for both yourself and your son.

 

Good luck!

[sewingmama]

:grouphug: You are doing just fine.

 

how do i encourage talking in either language( he understands both but wont speak either)?

 

I have read it is common for children in a bi-lingual home to speak later. Give it a little more time and he will probably suprise you with what he can say. As long as he is showing comprehension it's ok. My DD didn't say a word till she was 2 -then suddenly she was talking very clearly.

 

he just started eating solids. I was overfeeding him milk and not enough food he got low iron and just stopped eating totally.

 

My 2yo is the same except I am still giving him formula because he has milk allergies. What you are doing is fine. When he asks for milk take it as a sign he is hungry and give him real food instead. You might also try an iron supplement. My DD is an impossible eater and was iron deficient. I put her on supplements and for the first time in 5 years her appetite has picked up incredibly and she is eating so much better.

 

he gets bored easily. he only likes to do stuff for like 5 minutes and thats it. he pretty much just just throws stuff everywhere.

 

This is normal -throwing stuff everywhere is my 2yo's favourite activity. Try some sensory activities (playdough, painting, water play) -those seem to hold my DS's attention the longest. His attention span will increase as he gts older and he gets used to doing focused activities.

 

what do i feed this kid? i feel like im starting from scratch with food and have no clue what they like at this age?(we don't do prepackaged or canned foods)

 

Keep feeding him what you are eating -just cut it up small to make it toddler friendly. My picky DD who won't eat anything loves Korean food and my 2yo loves to eat salad - it's amazing what kids will develop a taste for if given a chance -they don't need to be limited to chicken nuggets and fries.

 

Good luck.

[gardenmom5]

he doesn't talk yet and we dont plan to do speech therapy until 3yr. because we are doing one parent one language (arabic/english) and i read that there could be a delay in speech but he is not delayed in non verbal. how do i encourage talking in either language( he understands both but wont speak either)?

 

My neice only speaks english to her kids. her husband speaks only ukranian/russian and the nanny (and everywhere else they go) speaks german. (they live in germany). she was speaking all three by this age. It is also common for young children to mix languages.

 

does he understand what you say in either language? if both parents switch back and forth it is more confusing. if you can do each parent one language it may help. when he indicates he wants something - make sure you are using words to demonstrate for him. talk to him, describe everything you are doing, expose him to words. (yes, you'll feel silly) it is so easy to assume a child's wants that our own actions cause a speech delay.

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what kind of activities should i do with him at home?

 

take him to a park. swing, play ball, play chase, climb, walk along the curb - holding his hand or not as he prefers.

[KrissiK]

May I suggest the book, "What to Expect... The Toddler Years". Or something similar. I found those books to be invaluable as far as what children should be doing developmentally and what to feed them and all that kind of stuff. When we adopted our children our oldest was 13 months and I had no idea what to do with him. I had no experience with children and the "What to Expect.... " books really helped me understand what my child should probably be doing then and how to solve problems with them!

[Momof3littles]

I'll toss these two thoughts out there.

 

I don't know if you are aware, but the birth to three system is different for services from 3 and over. The 0-3 early intervention system is (speaking in sweeping generalities of course) much more cozy, parent/family focused, and it may be easier to obtain services at that age depending on what qualifies (% of delay) in your state. Once they turn 3, services are provided through the school system. For that reason, I might try to get an eval now to see if you can get services if you are open to that idea. Many families find the 0-3 system much more "cozy" and friendly than the system when they are 3 and over. Many kids do catch up just fine, but the hard part with speech is IME many people don't get concerned until 2+. Then it takes a bit until they go ahead and decide to do an eval. Then it takes a few weeks for the eval team to come out, and because of the demand for services, if a child qualifies it can take a few more weeks until they begin actual therapy. At that point it isn't uncommon for a child to be 2.5 or older, and then the 0-3 system phases out at 3 and services are then provided through the school district. If you do the eval and he doesn't qualify, the speech therapist can give you tips on working with him in the coming months.

 

My other thought is to consider a feeding eval or discussing the feeding issues if you call early intervention for an evaluation. It could be possible that he has a sensory component to the feeding, he could have poor oral motor muscle tone or coordination, etc. The two issues (speech and feeding) could be related. They may not be at all, but it is something to consider. Delayed speech with a bilingual family isn't uncommon, but with the feeding coming into play, I would probably mention it if you have an EI evaluation done.

 

If you've already considered those points, I apologize in advance. I just thought I'd raise those two thoughts in case they were things you hadn't considered.

Edited October 6, 2011 by Momof3littles

[MrsBasil]

I don't know much about about the eating or speech issues, so :grouphug:. I can relate to the mess making and short attention span and trying to figure out how to keep him entertained without him going into destructo mode.

 

My DS had/has the short interest in most things and went through a phase of loving to throw things around. For awhile whenever I asked him what he wanted to do he said, "make a mess."

 

A sandbox or bucket with water outside are good for messy fun. Stacking blocks and knocking them over is a favorite. Throwing around a light ball or balloon was good when he wanted to throw things. Play dough, coloring, and glueing stuff keep him occupied.

 

His favorite thing to do is be my helper. He will throw stuff into the washer for me, take things out of the dryer after I open up, and loves standing on a chair dumping measured ingredients into a mixer. Oh, a rag and a small spray bottle of water and he can "wash" walls. If I do it with him he's in heaven.

 

If he likes to throw things though, those cute sensory tubs filled with rice or beans and scoops are BAD indoor idea. I've never had any luck with all the fun Montessori tot tray ideas either. They go all over or he invents his own game that inevitably leads to "make a mess".

 

Vigorous play, being mommy's helper, reading books that have big pictures and not a ton of words per page, and some mom approved messy fun are what works for my 2 year old.