everyone should homeschool?

[Slartibartfast]

I don't think that everyone can and not everyone should. Not all children thrive or are suited to homeschooling..same with parents. It all depends on the situation.

 

:iagree:

 

I disagree that everyone can and I certainly disagree that everyone should.

[Aelwydd]

The staunch SAHM can add to it. The is little support for WOHM for its own sake in a significant portion of SAHM advocates.

 

 

 

Well, what would those peeps thing about women like me? I have been a SAHM and primary hs'er, but I'm in the process of trying to get a good job now. My dh just got laid off 2 weeks ago. He did social work for a community clinic, and his job was a victim of the latest Texas state budget cuts. Needless to say, his prospects aren't good right now.

 

The plan is, if I get this job (and please, GFSM, let me get this job!), then dh will be the one to hs ds, and probably finish his degree.

 

I think it'd be a great opportunity for him to spend time with our ds, and get to experience a closer relationship with him by being a stay-at-home parent and home schooler. But, he still worries about what my family and others might think about him. I told him, don't let it bother you. There are plenty of people who would despise me for not being a SAHM. We are a team, and as long as we can provide for our ds, and his education, what does it matter who is working, and who is teaching?

[9763653]

It is true that actual education and the finances required are different kettle of fish. :001_smile:

 

I will say for the average family (ha, I know that doesn't exist) it is possible if they are really committed. People can do amazing things and come up with all kinds of options to do something they think is really important. I'm not sure I would be willing to live in a tent in order to homeschool but I know many families that do make huge sacrifices.

 

If someone places a high enough value on something (I'm not placing a value on what they choose) people can swing almost anything. Lots of parents make tremendous sacrifices to provide health care to an ill family member, others disrupt their entire lives to support an Olympic level athlete.

 

I am not saying families should give up everything else in order to homeschool. I am saying that I have seen some ingenious solutions in families that felt they really needed to.

 

Note that I said average family. There are always exceptions to any statement.

 

I had an epiphany about 9-10 years ago about how far people can push when they have to. (Again, homeschooling may not be a dire need for everyone but it might be critical for some) My dd had a serious chronic illness (ITP), we spent part of her 6th grade summer in chemo therapy. We had great insurance but not everyone does. I heard moms calmly discussing losing their homes if they needed to. I am still humbled today at the kinds of sacrifices I saw. My dh also sacrificed by keeping a job he hate, hate, hated but had insurance. He turned down his dream job (start up with no insurance) that summer.

 

I hope that if I felt homeschooling was necessary for my kids future or for their mental health, I would do whatever it takes.

 

In a way we did, I choose to not work and give them a solid elementary and high school education. I do not have the college funding that some of my friends do, I think it was worth it.

 

I'm sorry if I am babbling. I hope this make sense. If it doesn't please let me know.

 

You are not babbling at all. What you say makes perfect sense. And my view that something may not be possible no matter how creative you are or no matter how much you want something does not come from a personal lack of creativity or will. At the same time, you are of course right that will power can move mountains. If one truly believes in something, it is easier to realize that thing than if they don't. But will power does not equal magic.

 

I am admittedly a little surprised when I see things like "If only they would give up one of their cars and downsize their house" (not from you, elsewhere on the tread). Poverty is a real problem - here where I live, in Eastern Europe, it is a big problem. In Africa, it is even worse. But I am very certain it also exists in the US, and I think the American Dream is a bit of a myth. Not everyone can "pull themselves up by the bootstraps" and have enough resources left to also homeschool.

 

Not everyone can homeschool, and I think we can recognize that as a fact. I don't think everyone should homeschool either. "Everyone should" statements may have come out of my mouth when I was a politically active teenager :D. These days, I tend to think that "everyone should" live their own lives the best they can, and leave others alone.

[9763653]

Well, what would those peeps thing about women like me? I have been a SAHM and primary hs'er, but I'm in the process of trying to get a good job now. My dh just got laid off 2 weeks ago. He did social work for a community clinic, and his job was a victim of the latest Texas state budget cuts. Needless to say, his prospects aren't good right now.

 

The plan is, if I get this job (and please, GFSM, let me get this job!), then dh will be the one to hs ds, and probably finish his degree.

 

I think it'd be a great opportunity for him to spend time with our ds, and get to experience a closer relationship with him by being a stay-at-home parent and home schooler. But, he still worries about what my family and others might think about him. I told him, don't let it bother you. There are plenty of people who would despise me for not being a SAHM. We are a team, and as long as we can provide for our ds, and his education, what does it matter who is working, and who is teaching?

 

It sounds like you are a wonderful team!

[leeannpal]

Leeann, I'm forever running around after my dd asking her to check her perception of what's going on.

 

To ask the original posters additional questions on their view might help some and it could be far off from what your original perception.

 

You could be right, you could be wrong, the truth of the statement might be somewhere in the middle..who knows?

 

Asking for further clarification could take you a long way in really understanding what the poster meant by that comment.

 

Well, I happen to "know" these posters from the message board, and my interpretation is pretty much what they were saying. I don't think it is right to quote someone from another board, so I'll just say that it wasn't one post only, and there were several posts that outright said that anyone could homeschool if they really wanted to be home with their kids.

[Hikin' Mama]

Not everyone can.

 

Not everyone should.

 

Not everyone wants to.

 

And that is okay. Most of my friends do not homeschool. They are still great moms with great kids. These friends are such a blessing to me, and I'm thankful we can be friends without judging each other's life choices.

[Happy2BaMom]

I find the "everyone should ___________" common to the mindset of conservative and liberal ideologues (generally speaking). It tends to go with the territory, so I try not to get too caught up in it.

 

I personally would rather have my children attend public school than grow up with a simplistic, superior attitude toward those who are in different circumstances and make different choices.

 

It's also interesting (this from another thread) that this recent study found that structured homeschooled kids fared better than ps kids, but that unstructured unschoolers fared somewhat significantly worse. Not that these tests are the end all, but it does indicate that homeschooling is not a panacea.

[Denise in Florida]

You are not babbling at all. What you say makes perfect sense. And my view that something may not be possible no matter how creative you are or no matter how much you want something does not come from a personal lack of creativity or will. At the same time, you are of course right that will power can move mountains. If one truly believes in something, it is easier to realize that thing than if they don't. But will power does not equal magic.

 

I am admittedly a little surprised when I see things like "If only they would give up one of their cars and downsize their house" (not from you, elsewhere on the tread). Poverty is a real problem - here where I live, in Eastern Europe, it is a big problem. In Africa, it is even worse. But I am very certain it also exists in the US, and I think the American Dream is a bit of a myth. Not everyone can "pull themselves up by the bootstraps" and have enough resources left to also homeschool.

 

Not everyone can homeschool, and I think we can recognize that as a fact. I don't think everyone should homeschool either. "Everyone should" statements may have come out of my mouth when I was a politically active teenager :D. These days, I tend to think that "everyone should" live their own lives the best they can, and leave others alone.

 

I love the bolded part, it should be on a t-shirt. :tongue_smilie:I agree with so much of what you said. There are circumstances where it just isn't possible. But many people (at least here in the US) claim they want to homeschool but can't when it does not seem as if they have really tried.

 

I think it can be easy for us to fall into the position of saying someone can try harder. We know that we have given something up (nicer house, retirement plans, interesting career, whatever applies) in order to do something we put a higher priority on (such as homeschooling) and then someone says, "It is different for you, you have it easy, you can afford it". It feels as if they are belittling the effort and sacrifice we are making so we want to say "You just aren't trying, try harder'.

 

It is better just to admit to ourselves that we don't know what they are going through anymore than they know what we are giving up.

 

My friend's have a term for when we need to stop judging each other, I love coffee day but we can start acting like old hens :lol:. Someone will call us all on it and say "I'm raising the Umbrella of Mercy here." I try to remember to think "Umbrella" when some younger mom at church complains about her child's school and then tells me about going on a cruise. :lol:

 

I hope you are having great day.

[lailasmum]

I think every family should consider it even if they decide not to. So few families even know it is legal here, they just don't know their options which is a shame.

[elegantlion]

I am of the opinion that:

• not everyone can homeschool
  
• not everyone should homeschool
  

 

:iagree:

[Bang!Zoom!]

Leanne, if you know these posters well and the true intent and statement being that those who do not home school are "less than" those that do...I don't know what to say other than it's a pretty short sighted opinion then.

 

It's not for everyone or every family. There are too many personal variables involved.

[Denise in Florida]

Not everyone can.

 

Not everyone should.

 

Not everyone wants to.

 

And that is okay. Most of my friends do not homeschool. They are still great moms with great kids. These friends are such a blessing to me' date=' and I'm thankful we can be friends without judging each other's life choices.[/quote']

 

I'm not adding anything to the discussion I'm afraid, but may I say I enjoyed your use of the word 'irk'? :tongue_smilie:

[swimmermom3]

I did think similarly in my early years. I did think that virtually all children benefit from homeschooling and virtually all families can/should homeschool.

 

I don't think that anymore. Pretty much the total opposite.

 

Many children do very well in schools, be they public, private or some other version. Some families do very poorly as homeschoolers. Homeschooling is not as idiot-proof as I thought in my early years. :tongue_smilie: There are some idiots, I've found.

 

At the heart of the statement you describe is pride. It's the type of thinking that believes, "Well, if all *those* people would just do this correct thing, like *I* do, then they would have wonderful children, too." It's a lie.

 

:iagree:Yes, homeschooling may definitely not be the answer to what ails your child. It is not a cure-all, unless perhaps administered under ideal circumstances, but who has those?

[Hedgehog]

I was checking out another homeschool message board that is decidedly more conservative than this one. On one of the threads, a couple of people said that if you really wanted to be at home with your kids, that you could. I took it to mean that those who claimed they wanted to homeschool but couldn't because of jobs, health, etc. were just making excuses. What do you guys think?

 

No way. It has nothing to do with wealth or any such thing; it has to do with the right choice of lifestyle for the mix of personalities in your own family.

[SailorMom]

I'm in the "not everyone can/should/wants to" category.

I know some of each. The thought of certain families homeschooling makes me cringe...

I do think there are many people who would be more interrested if they knew more about it.

There is very little good "press" that is actually non-inflamatory. Much of what's out there really doesn't fo a good job explaining the options.

[JumpedIntoTheDeepEndFirst]

I was checking out another homeschool message board that is decidedly more conservative than this one. On one of the threads, a couple of people said that if you really wanted to be at home with your kids, that you could. I took it to mean that those who claimed they wanted to homeschool but couldn't because of jobs, health, etc. were just making excuses. What do you guys think?

 

I don't think everyone can or should homeschool.

 

I do think some moms who want to be out in the workforce (as part of a dual income family and as opposed to those who truly need to be in the workforce) come up with lots of excuses as to why they work instead of staying home with the kids and/or homeschooling. I wish they would just put on their big girl panties and admit they enjoy their jobs and their extra income rather than give me a bunch of reasons why they aren't SAHMs and how they "wish" they could be.