Impish Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 Parents arrive today. Not sure when they're arriving or supposed to be getting together with us, other than its today at some point. Eeep. Loads of work to do, hopefully I get the majority of it done. I know nothing will ever be good enough, but I'm not aiming for their approval, rather 'good enough' for me. I already know that my house is too small, a townhouse, we rent...so that alone makes us 'lesser than'. All my brothers are in their own homes...granted, they lived with my parents while saving a down payment, but that little detail doesn't affect my parent's opinions about us renting. I know all the logic. But, always feeling like a 2nd class citizen gets wearying. My parents have always needed to look down on someone, be able to point to someone and say, "We're better than..." and I'm the built in person for the family. I wish, with all my heart, that I could just greet the visit with anticipation, excitement, looking forward to spending time with them. But there's always the undercurrent of tension, the comments that would seem innocent and benign to anyone else, but reference the years of layers of negative carp. I'm focusing on my reasons for doing this. My kids. They don't have relationships with extended family. None of them remember any of my brothers, the Littles never met them. Or my grandmother. Wolf's bfamily, they've met a brother (uncle to the kids) several years ago, an aunt (Wolf's sister) once, his uncle 3 x in as many years. Its important to me that they have *something*, some experience with extended family. I just really pray that I have the strength, grace, patience to get through what lies ahead. Even more, I pray that this visit doesn't run true to form, that its pleasant...but I also know the only person I have any say or control over is me, so I can't count on anything beyond my actions and reactions. Better go wake Diva, and then get some cleaning done. I'll be back...I find if I don't take frequent breaks these days, I just about fall over :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritaserum Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 :grouphug: I hope they surprise you in a good way. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted August 3, 2011 Author Share Posted August 3, 2011 Thanks, I hope so too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted August 3, 2011 Author Share Posted August 3, 2011 Bathroom is done, except for floors. Thank heavens the Littles think washing walls is fun :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 Go, Impish go! :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nono Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 Hang in there. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted August 3, 2011 Author Share Posted August 3, 2011 Thanks Jean and Nono. Argh. I've already overdone it a bit. Arm is kicking up. Here's some irony. I'm completely opposite of my family. I'm not materialistic in the slightest. I'm over the moon when I can go grocery shopping and not have to keep a running total in my head, or can get the stuff the kids need without breaking a sweat or juggling bills. So how is it, I'm going through my house wishing we'd painted, had better furniture, etc? Ack. Only my parents can have this effect on me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meggie Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 :grouphug: You can do it! I'm also hoping they surprise you in a good way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 Thanks Jean and Nono. Argh. I've already overdone it a bit. Arm is kicking up. Here's some irony. I'm completely opposite of my family. I'm not materialistic in the slightest. I'm over the moon when I can go grocery shopping and not have to keep a running total in my head, or can get the stuff the kids need without breaking a sweat or juggling bills. So how is it, I'm going through my house wishing we'd painted, had better furniture, etc? Ack. Only my parents can have this effect on me. Just read this -- you are going to be just fine -- deep breaths! And, yes, only parents can have this effect on us -- my mom is 77 and i will be 57 next week, and when she is coming, I STILL freak out. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:, thoughts and prayers. Sorry I have been MIA -- driving the kids everywhere and then back home again.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 :grouphug:s and prayers to you today, and during the duration of their visit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovelaughs_times_three Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 I know what you mean about those "benign" comments that cut so deep! I'm praying that they hold their tongue! I'm praying that they rejoice in how amazing you are! But I am mostly praying that God will give you an amazing grace to supernaturally rise above it all. To get, at a new and deeper level than ever before, how wonderfully you are made, how amazing you are, and how those who don't "get it" are truly missing out. Hope you have an awesome time in spite of whatever else may be happening. :grouphug::grouphug:s Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted August 4, 2011 Author Share Posted August 4, 2011 Just read this -- you are going to be just fine -- deep breaths! And, yes, only parents can have this effect on us -- my mom is 77 and i will be 57 next week, and when she is coming, I STILL freak out. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:, thoughts and prayers. Sorry I have been MIA -- driving the kids everywhere and then back home again.:grouphug: Life, Hon. Don't worry about being MIA, I'll be around somewhere you can reach me whenever you've caught your breath and have a few mins! Didn't hear from Mom until after Princess was in the tub last night, so we'll be seeing them in a cpl of hrs. Eeep. Honestly, I look around and everything in and about my home seems wrong. Blech! Thanks to everyone for the prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 Life, Hon. Don't worry about being MIA, I'll be around somewhere you can reach me whenever you've caught your breath and have a few mins! Didn't hear from Mom until after Princess was in the tub last night, so we'll be seeing them in a cpl of hrs. Eeep. Honestly, I look around and everything in and about my home seems wrong. Blech! Thanks to everyone for the prayers. Hope everyhting goes well! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted August 4, 2011 Author Share Posted August 4, 2011 Thanks, unsinkable. They have *no* other plans from now til Monday. My mom has an uncle and cousins in the city, but apparently, I'm her only entertainment for while they're here. Well, me and the kids. It freaks me out, completely. I've not spent this much time with them in...16 yrs? More? What the heck am I going to do with them? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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