Monica_in_Switzerland Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 I like to buy nice, quality open-ended toys for my kids. But since their grandparents love to shower them with gifts, half of their stuff is junk. They buy them WAY too much, they buy US way too much, everyone just gives us so much CRAP! And I don't mean to be ungrateful!!!! But I'm tired of being surrounded by so much stuff, and every time I purge, Christmas or a birthday comes around, and we are inundated again. Meanwhile, there are things we could actually use, that I'd rather have... Has anyone found a way to successfully handle this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RainbowSprinkles Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 Move and don't give out your new address? :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 I don't know. Some might find it tacky... but maybe you can let the grandparents know something like: I wanted to let you know that the kids really have WAY too many toys. We are running out of room to store them, and the kids are running out of interest in playing with anything for more than a few seconds at a time, because they have just too much stuff. We have decided to start donating to Toys For Tots if they continue to receive a bunch of toys we cannot store or use. So please consider buying books or clothing instead, or taking them out somewhere fun to celebrate instead of buying them more things. Thanks, and hope you understand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chepyl Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 My mom has started asking Mr what to het the kids and she gives us cash more than stuff now. She is even looking at stuff I can use fir school! She is buying DS some my little pony ponies readers instead of a junk souvenir from her next trip!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 Successfully? No. But I've tried suggesting museum/zoo passes. Nobody listens to me. But we went to the museum w/ ils last weekend, & I'm hoping that them seeing how great it is will help to convince them that that IS a good gift. (They don't like to give things that are TOO educational for Christmas/birthdays--other times or just because is fine.) It was funny, too: mil & her sis kept accidentally abandoning the kids they had to play by themselves. If only I'd remembered to bring my camera! Some other kid was waiting to play w/ this light up thing, & his mother had to tell him to "wait until the nice old ladies are done." :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 I don't know. Some might find it tacky... but maybe you can let the grandparents know something like: I wanted to let you know that the kids really have WAY too many toys. We are running out of room to store them, and the kids are running out of interest in playing with anything for more than a few seconds at a time, because they have just too much stuff. We have decided to start donating to Toys For Tots if they continue to receive a bunch of toys we cannot store or use. So please consider buying books or clothing instead, or taking them out somewhere fun to celebrate instead of buying them more things. Thanks, and hope you understand. Mil tried buying the kids books once. She let them ea pick one out, but complained that the one ds picked (a Caldecott) didn't have enough words in it to justify the price. She tried to get him to pick something w/out an author. !! He chose another Caldecott. Good kid! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skadi Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 It might be difficult to implement this since the grandparents in your family are used to being able to buy what they want, but have you tried making Wish Lists for each child's birthday/Christmas that you can send them? A registry of sorts? Emphasize that these things are what your children NEED for their ages. It has the potential for a win-win situation -- grandparents get to give stuff the kids love and that you are happy with. It could just be that the grandparents don't know how to pick out a toy that you yourself would find, because stores overwhelming just sell plastic junk. My DH and I are big believers in the idea that a gift is something with which we can do with what we want -- we are not obligated to have any particular gift on display, and if we want to pack up gifts to the attic or sell them on Craig's List, that is our prerogative. So I wouldn't hesitate to at least put away some of those toys if not get rid of them entirely. Kids enjoy play more when they aren't overwhelmed with huge amount of stuff, IMHO. We also cut down on the amount of stuff we own by cutting down the gift giving in our own family. On a child's birthday, he or she would receive ONE gift from both of us. Siblings don't exchange gifts or anything like that. On Christmas, each child receives one gift from us. That may sound too extreme, but what really makes our holidays special are our family traditions and merry-making...not materialism. And even while keeping grandparents on a registry, the kids will still get a lot of presents from them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 Yes. We ended it with friends first. No more gift exchanging for holidays or birthdays. Now we'll give each other a card or meet up for coffee. Then we talked with our siblings and ended the gift exchanges with their families. Everyone was relieved. Lastly, we hit up the grandparents. Because they were not able to completely give up the idea of a gift exchange we asked them to limit it to $15 each kid for birthday and Christmas and no gift exchanges between the adults. That has worked out well. Everyone has actually been GLAD to drop it. We live all over the country and shipping rates are outrageous. I remember the first time I told my sister, "Hey, you keep the $20 gift cards you were going to mail to my kids and I'll keep the $20 gift cards I was going to mail to your kids and we'll just slap each others names on it." We laughed and it stuck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maverick_Mom Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 I tried to with my in-laws, by suggesting that it would be more meaningful if they would spend time with their grandchildren. They looked at me as if to say, "Spend TIME with them? What in the world would we DO?" So much more meaningful to drop money at Toys 'R' Us, the Dollar Store, or the church bazaar (the only thing worse than junk toys are other people's broken junk toys -- but hey, it was for a good cause). Now, however, they've streamlined. After years of not spending time with their grandchildren so they could get to know them, they now shrug and say, "We have no idea what to get them. Here's a check." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 I said something along the lines of the kids getting a little older now, and we've got limited space. They love getting gifts from their grandparents! How about....(CD's of good music they'd love to share, magazine subscriptions, museum memberships, a "gift certificate" for an activity with the grandparents). My MIL likes to give gifts and asks often "What do the kids want?" which left the door open to say, "Gosh, they're so blessed. We have so much. How about a donation to their college fund?" She said, "What a good idea!" and now she donates a little $ to their college funds and gives them a gift of her choice. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cloversandlions Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 Yes, thankfully. My MIL would buy the kind of toys that are cute in the store, but lose their appeal shortly after they're removed from the package. When we moved away, she sent a Toys R Us gift card, but there was really nothing there that my son wanted - it took him three visits to spend $100. So...I asked my dh if he could talk to them about alternatives: in our case, at a minimum, a Target GC, though a better choice would be Amazon...and ideally, a cash gift would be most welcome of all. Her cash gifts helped my children combine gift money with money they'd saved from allowance, and buy something they really wanted, or save it for a later use. It's worked well for us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jami Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 A different perspective... My MIL was a gift giver. It was just deeply a part of how she expressed love for people. The neighborhood kids, nieces, nephews, her children, and most certainly her grandchildren. She also showered time and attention on them, so the gifts weren't just buying affection. But she loved giving gifts. We got a box on all the major and minor holidays and a few "just for fun" days in between. I cringed a lot at first, made lists and requests, and culled before Christmas. My MIL passed away in March of 2010, suddenly, at the age of 60. And I would take all those cluttery, sometimes tacky, excessive gifts back in a heartbeat if it meant she was with us again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 I remember the first time I told my sister, "Hey, you keep the $20 gift cards you were going to mail to my kids and I'll keep the $20 gift cards I was going to mail to your kids and we'll just slap each others names on it." We laughed and it stuck. I tried that and my family had a hissy fit. My mom and sister said if the kids didn't get something with their (the gift givers) name on it that feelings were hurt. So we continue to send each other gift cards at Christmas. It's absolutely ridiculous. My sister did agree to stop exchanging gifts with me, but we can't stop giving to my mom and her husband or my mother complains that no one loves her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alphabetika Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 I like to buy nice, quality open-ended toys for my kids. But since their grandparents love to shower them with gifts, half of their stuff is junk. They buy them WAY too much, they buy US way too much, everyone just gives us so much CRAP! And I don't mean to be ungrateful!!!! But I'm tired of being surrounded by so much stuff, and every time I purge, Christmas or a birthday comes around, and we are inundated again. Meanwhile, there are things we could actually use, that I'd rather have... Has anyone found a way to successfully handle this? Oh, I feel your pain. Sounds just like our situation. And I haven't found a successful way to handle it, just wanted to commiserate. We actually allow our kids to donate any of their gifts to Goodwill. So after Christmas, there is always a little pile of stuff in our room, waiting to be donated. I have tried gentle pleas, joking around about it, and being sort of blunt. It continues.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tohru Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 I said something along the lines of the kids getting a little older now, and we've got limited space. They love getting gifts from their grandparents! How about....(CD's of good music they'd love to share, magazine subscriptions, museum memberships, a "gift certificate" for an activity with the grandparents). My MIL likes to give gifts and asks often "What do the kids want?" which left the door open to say, "Gosh, they're so blessed. We have so much. How about a donation to their college fund?" She said, "What a good idea!" and now she donates a little $ to their college funds and gives them a gift of her choice. Cat The bolded...this is what I told my parents years ago. Now all their grandkids get a card with money inside for birthdays and other gift giving holidays. It's really nice. If the grandchild spends the money, they write a thank you note telling grandparent how they spent it. My MIL, on the other hand, always buys the crap. We generally donate it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dakarimom5 Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 My mom always calls and asks what to get the kids, I always suggest movies. We don't go to theaters so this works well. My MIL on the other hand is going to have a big problem this year. This is the first year we don't have cable and the kids aren't in school so they have no idea what the hot new toy is. I am so excited about that!! No more asking for junk just because they saw it on tv or so and so has one!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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