Mergath Posted July 30, 2011 Share Posted July 30, 2011 So, here's the situation. We live in an up/down duplex. We're the up, and a couple months ago, a woman with two kids (she has them every other week, the dad has them the rest of the time) moved into the downstairs unit. From a couple brief conversations I've had with the mom when I happened to see her outside, it seems that she works two full time jobs, one of which is nights. The problem is that she sleeps all day when she's home, and leaves her three-year-old and seven-year-old outside unsupervised. I've even seen the three-year-old outside by herself for hours at a time, and we live on an extremely busy alley where it just isn't safe for a kid that age to be out alone. The kids are consistently dirty with matted hair and are covered in food. On a couple of occasions, I've brought my dd outside to play and the two kids played with her for a few minutes. This is when the older girl told me that her mom sleeps all day, and they don't have anyone to watch them. What's really starting to worry me is that the older girl is starting to seem... I don't know. Jealous, or something. Whenever she sees us outside headed to the car or walking somewhere, she asks us where we're going, and when I tell her- it's usually the playground, the beach, or the library- she asks if she can come with. I have to tell her no, of course, because she has no way to ask her mom and I really don't want to be responsible for someone else's children, at which point she looks really, really pissed. Once she saw me leaving alone and asked where dd was. I told her dd was upstairs with my husband, and the little girl said, "Her daddy lives with you?" and when I said that he does, she looked just enraged (probably because her parents are divorced, though I can't say for sure, of course). Having this girl look at me like she's trying to kill me with her brain every time I leave the house now is starting to get a bit unnerving. Also, the other day she walked up and kind of- I don't know, groped dd's stomach in a weird way, then glared at me and walked away before I could say anything. I'm really starting to get worried that she's going to vandalize our car or burn down the house to get her mother's attention or something. I've caught her standing next to our car with a guilty look on her face, and the other day she was pulling plants out of the flowerbed. When I asked her to stop doing that, she gave me this weird sort of malevolent smile and just walked away. And as if that wasn't bad enough, the last couple times I have actually seen the mom outside (just long enough to smoke a cigarette, of course) SHE gave me a really weird look and told her kids to get in the front yard (our entrance is on the side), as if she doesn't want her kids around us. So god only knows what the older girl is making up to tell her mom about us because she's mad I won't let her come to the beach with us or whatever. I feel bad for these kids, but I'm not sure what I can do to help them. I'm pretty sure that if I call someone and file a report saying that this woman lets her three-year-old play alone in the yard, they'll just roll their eyes at me. And the older kid just gives me a really, really bad vibe, but what am I going to do? I can't exactly walk up to the mom and say, "Um, your dd seems to be really mad at us because I spend a lot of time with my dd, as well as possibly emotionally disturbed, so could you please be a decent mother so she doesn't try to burn the building down?" Hopefully I'm just overreacting, but this is really starting to worry me. Any ideas? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted July 30, 2011 Share Posted July 30, 2011 Well, I'd stop telling her where you are going beyond "errands". And, when she asks you point blank if she can come, tell her "No. I am not your mom." Poor kids, though. We had neighbors like that - dad worked nights, mom days, kids ran wild. There is only so much you can do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dobela Posted July 30, 2011 Share Posted July 30, 2011 If a 3 yr old is outside for hours and looks unkempt, I would call police the next time I witnessed that. Then let the police do handle it. There have been several reports in our paper lately about little ones wandering around while parents were asleep or unaware of what was happening, one ended in a not so happy way. The police will respond quickly and then decide if CPS needs to be called. You can call anonymously if necessary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted July 30, 2011 Author Share Posted July 30, 2011 Well, I'd stop telling her where you are going beyond "errands". And, when she asks you point blank if she can come, tell her "No. I am not your mom." Poor kids, though. We had neighbors like that - dad worked nights, mom days, kids ran wild. There is only so much you can do. Yup, done that. I don't think she believes me, though. Especially when I tell her that and we're in swimsuits and have beach towels. I guess at this point what's worrying me the most is the weird looks the mom is giving me, and acting like she doesn't want her kids around us. Which is fine with me, believe me, but I'm starting to worry that the little girl is making things up about us because she's mad that I tell her she can't come with us at least once a day. I mean, honestly, what do I do if the police show up at my door saying the little girl said, I don't know, that I kicked her out in the yard or something? She really does seem... off. Ugh. We are so moving now that dh will be making a bit more money. It's been a different kind of hell with everyone that moves in down there, and it just isn't worth it anymore. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truscifi Posted July 30, 2011 Share Posted July 30, 2011 If a 3 yr old is outside for hours and looks unkempt, I would call police the next time I witnessed that. Then let the police do handle it. There have been several reports in our paper lately about little ones wandering around while parents were asleep or unaware of what was happening, one ended in a not so happy way. The police will respond quickly and then decide if CPS needs to be called. You can call anonymously if necessary. :iagree: A child that age needs to be supervised. I don't think they would roll their eyes and ignore it. Of course, I've been wrong before, but at least you will have tried and maybe gotten the family on their radar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wy_kid_wrangler04 Posted July 30, 2011 Share Posted July 30, 2011 If a 3 yr old is outside for hours and looks unkempt, I would call police the next time I witnessed that. Then let the police do handle it. The police will respond quickly and then decide if CPS needs to be called. You can call anonymously if necessary. :iagree: Those poor kids, because they do not just learn behavior like that, kwim? I feel so bad for kids that are brought up like that :crying: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted July 30, 2011 Author Share Posted July 30, 2011 If a 3 yr old is outside for hours and looks unkempt, I would call police the next time I witnessed that. Then let the police do handle it. There have been several reports in our paper lately about little ones wandering around while parents were asleep or unaware of what was happening, one ended in a not so happy way. The police will respond quickly and then decide if CPS needs to be called. You can call anonymously if necessary. That's another thing that worries me- we get all kinds of weirdos walking along the alley, and it would only take a second for someone to grab the poor thing and drive off. But I can't figure out what to say. Calling and saying, "Our neighbor is letting her three-year-old play outside, and the kid looks dirty" just doesn't sound like something the police are going to rush over for, you know? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted July 30, 2011 Author Share Posted July 30, 2011 Sorry, I know I'm probably spending too much time overthinking all this. I think my brain's worry setting somehow got stuck on high, lol. I've been trying to reserve posting for the things that actually keep me awake at night. And this has. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted July 30, 2011 Share Posted July 30, 2011 That's another thing that worries me- we get all kinds of weirdos walking along the alley, and it would only take a second for someone to grab the poor thing and drive off. But I can't figure out what to say. Calling and saying, "Our neighbor is letting her three-year-old play outside, and the kid looks dirty" just doesn't sound like something the police are going to rush over for, you know? You say "There is an unsupervised 3 year old roaming a busy alley." If they investigate they'll see the other signs of neglect for themselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted July 30, 2011 Share Posted July 30, 2011 That's another thing that worries me- we get all kinds of weirdos walking along the alley, and it would only take a second for someone to grab the poor thing and drive off. But I can't figure out what to say. Calling and saying, "Our neighbor is letting her three-year-old play outside, and the kid looks dirty" just doesn't sound like something the police are going to rush over for, you know? No, you just call and say there is an unattended child who looks to be about three years old in the alley. Keep it short. Play stupid about the child's parent's whereabouts. Just leave it at 2-3 year old child alone. Then when the cops show up, kind of be heading to your car and let them know where the child lives. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NicAnn Posted July 30, 2011 Share Posted July 30, 2011 The police are usually very helpful in situations like this. You can call the non emergency number and tell the dispatcher that you just want a patrol car to drive by, rather than turning it into a big situation right away (because, who knows, maybe the mother watches from the window or something). If you feel like doing more, saying that there is an unattended, dirty three year old playing near the alley they probably will rush over. As a law enforcement family, I can say that officers take possible child endangerment very seriously. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wy_kid_wrangler04 Posted July 30, 2011 Share Posted July 30, 2011 But I can't figure out what to say. Calling and saying, "Our neighbor is letting her three-year-old play outside, and the kid looks dirty" just doesn't sound like something the police are going to rush over for, you know? Just tell them that there is a child who is 3 years old who is unsupervised on a very busy street/alley while her mother is sleeping. She looks untaken care of (the matted hair and dirty/full of food) Tell them that you are concerned for her safety Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted July 30, 2011 Author Share Posted July 30, 2011 The police are usually very helpful in situations like this. You can call the non emergency number and tell the dispatcher that you just want a patrol car to drive by, rather than turning it into a big situation right away (because, who knows, maybe the mother watches from the window or something). If you feel like doing more, saying that there is an unattended, dirty three year old playing near the alley they probably will rush over. As a law enforcement family, I can say that officers take possible child endangerment very seriously. Yes, you're probably right. I guess when I think out what I would say in my head, it sounds kind of stupid. Thanks everyone. Hearing that I'm not crazy paranoid is nice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truscifi Posted July 30, 2011 Share Posted July 30, 2011 Yes, you're probably right. I guess when I think out what I would say in my head, it sounds kind of stupid. Thanks everyone. Hearing that I'm not crazy paranoid is nice. Definitely not crazy paranoid. And I would keep it simple if you call. Just saying there is an unattended 3 year old in a busy alley that has been there for at least x amount of time should be sufficient. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dobela Posted July 30, 2011 Share Posted July 30, 2011 Definitely not crazy paranoid. And I would keep it simple if you call. Just saying there is an unattended 3 year old in a busy alley that has been there for at least x amount of time should be sufficient. I agree with all the others. GIve a description of the child when you call (pink shorts with dirty top, for example) and her location so they can actually find her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted July 30, 2011 Share Posted July 30, 2011 You say "There is an unsupervised 3 year old roaming a busy alley." If they investigate they'll see the other signs of neglect for themselves. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitten18 Posted July 30, 2011 Share Posted July 30, 2011 But I can't figure out what to say. Calling and saying, "Our neighbor is letting her three-year-old play outside, and the kid looks dirty" just doesn't sound like something the police are going to rush over for, you know? It's neglect. I would call CPS directly. When I took a class through CPS, they told us that the majority of cases they deal with are neglect, not abuse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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