dsmama Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 Hello! I wrote a few weeks back about my 5 yo daughter having a positive blood test for gluten intolerance. Though her intestinal biopsy was normal, her doctor saw a lot of inflammation during the procedure. So DH and I have decided to have her go gluten-free for several months and see if that relieves her stomach pain, cramping, and other complaints. But I'm not sure how to handle letting folks know about her diet needs. She has some birthday parties coming up, plus the usual notice for snacks at church, play dates. I've drafted a letter. Would anyone like to chime in on what I need to add or change? I want to be informative but not offensive. Thank you! Hello! Thank you for inviting E to C's birthday party. E is really looking forward to it! E recently went on a gluten-free diet. She is aware of her food allergy and knows that it is very important that she not eat wheat or any gluten containing foods. I don't, however, expect you to make anything special for her. Instead, would you let me know what will be served at the party, such as pizza, cake, etc? We have plenty of gluten-free snacks, pizza slices, and cupcakes that will be safe for her to eat, and I will bring them with us to the party. Thanks for your support. See you on Saturday! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spaceman Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 I think that letter is fine. I usually talk directly with the person (though I admit it's always been that easy, so far. We seem to often get handed invitations at get-togethers, not in the mail). Anyhow, I do the same basic thing: find out what food is being offered and bring our own versions. I have also found, if you call resturaunts and speak to a manager places that are otherwise very strict (Chuck E Cheese), will allow you to bring in food. The manager part is generally very important in those stricter cases. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 Your letter looks good. However, please be aware: --You will need to communicate this repeatedly. People forget. Give the letter, but plan to SAY it a few times as well. Also plan to SAY IT AT THE PARTY. --Don't trust others to make things properly gluten-free. Insist on bringing your own. I have had folks offer and try hard to make things dairy-free for ds, but all too often it's actually NOT. My sister has severe celiac, and she will react even to tiny crumbs--she never, ever allows anyone else to cook her food, poor thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 Geez, I never was that together with it. Everyone knows our diet. The kids know not to eat it, I try to bring something for them that is safe but I don't try to do exactly what they are making, I am not that dedicated. We don't go to a ton of b=d parties though, mostly for relatives at people's home. Lucky for us a lot of our friends now are gf as well! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 Your letter looks good. However, please be aware: --You will need to communicate this repeatedly. People forget. Give the letter, but plan to SAY it a few times as well. Also plan to SAY IT AT THE PARTY. --Don't trust others to make things properly gluten-free. Insist on bringing your own. I have had folks offer and try hard to make things dairy-free for ds, but all too often it's actually NOT. My sister has severe celiac, and she will react even to tiny crumbs--she never, ever allows anyone else to cook her food, poor thing. Yes, I don't trust others either, unless I know them well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dsmama Posted July 17, 2011 Author Share Posted July 17, 2011 Thank you all for your advice! This is pretty new territory for us. I have two adult relatives with celiac, but teaching a 5 year old not to eat goldfish is a process! Thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 Sounds like a great letter! My dd is intolerant to casein (milk protein) and went through a 2-year period of no soy. It was a learning curve but we conquered it. Best of luck to you! Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan C. Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 Another option. We have a few things my dc haven't been able to eat over the years. (dye and it is at every party) My dc both got very embarrassed by being the lone one out. So.... they like to be fed before the party and not eat while there. Its usually easy to pull off, just be too busy to eat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 We never had a letter, but I always said something similar when ds was small and had life-threatening food allergies. People were always very accommodating, and I'd just do my best to bring something similar for ds. (Usually other kids were curious too, so I'd be sure that there was a little bit extra so anyone who wanted to coul "taste" ds' "special" food. Sometimes they liked it, sometimes they hated it, but usually a taste was enough to satisfy their curiosity and assure them that ds wasn't getting something better, lol.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4wildberrys Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 Your letter looks good. However, please be aware: --You will need to communicate this repeatedly. People forget. Give the letter, but plan to SAY it a few times as well. Also plan to SAY IT AT THE PARTY. --Don't trust others to make things properly gluten-free. Insist on bringing your own. I have had folks offer and try hard to make things dairy-free for ds, but all too often it's actually NOT. My sister has severe celiac, and she will react even to tiny crumbs--she never, ever allows anyone else to cook her food, poor thing. :iagree: :iagree: We are in the same boat as your sister Strider, but we call it Super Sensitive Celiac and I truly believe it occurs from repeated, constant gluten exposures when you think you are eating GF. GF is much more involved that most people realize, and many many commercially prepared AND labeled supposed 'Gluten Free' foods actually have trace glutens that build up and make you and keep you sick. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbgrace Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 (edited) I think the letter is fine. I would probably state that we'll be bringing our own that's safe for her because you don't want a helpful mom to try to make something gluten free that you then have to turn down to avoid any chance of gluten cross contamination. We just bring our special birthday treats for my son. I don't try to match because, honestly, nothing will look or taste the same anyway. If it's a cake he's fine with a cupcake instead. For some events you may find it's easier for your child to just eat before they arrive. My son is ok with that. Edited July 17, 2011 by sbgrace Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandi in Ohio Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 I think your letter sounds great but I also agree withthe suggestions above. Our entire family is gluten free and after doing it for 3 years most of our friends who would invite our kids or fmaily to a party/get to gether know we are gluten free. We always bring our own food/snack to events. We have an amazing children's church teacher who has gone out of her way to only have gluten free snacks for the class to make sure my kids (especially the 2 yr old) dosen't accidently get ahold of someone else's snack. She mostly does things like apple slices and such that are naturally gluten free. Another idea for a birthday party is that I will make up gluten free cupcakes and freeze them. Then when the kids have a party of a special event I will pull out the number we need and just thaw and frost those. This way I have a gluten free dessert for them to take somewhere on short notice. If I don't have any in the freezer sometimes I'll let the kids stop on the way to the party and get a candy bar at the store to take to the party for "cake time". It's not cake but seeing how they never get to pick a candy bar at the store it's still pretty special. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dsmama Posted July 17, 2011 Author Share Posted July 17, 2011 Awesome ideas. Again, thank you! We hit Whole Foods today (very thankful that we live within 30 minutes of a store). I bought some snack and party food to keep and freeze (love the idea of keeping cupcakes stashed). I also bought some flours to mix and start doing my own thing. My daughter was SOOO happy this afternoon. We set up her own area in the pantry, and I said I would try to eat g-free with her to be her buddy, which she was glad about. (This is somewhat selfish on my part, as my mom is celiac, and my testing has been negative, but I have some symptoms.) Dinner tonight was grilled chicken, quinoa, and a raw veggie and fruit tray with hummus dip. DD didn't eat a lot, because some of it was new, but she tried everything. We talked at dinner about how we all need to eat more healthy. Thank you all for your support! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 (edited) Just wanted to say, yay! I'm glad you got a good answer and that she doesn't have extensive damage to deal with! Great news. I'm the gluten free one in our house, but the advice to bring safe food and prepare to repeat is spot on, even for me. We were out picnicking with friends a couple weeks ago and my friend offered me a cupcake. I politely declined and we continued chatting. A few minutes later, she asked if I was sure I didn't want one, and I politely declined again. After a few minutes of more chatting, she suddenly had that eureka! moment and started apologizing for forgetting I couldn't have gluten. People share their love with food, so it can be really hard for them to make the connection. I imagine it's harder for a 5 year old to have to keep graciously declining. Eta: I've had great success with the all-purpose and whole grain flour mix recipes from Gluten-Free Girl and the Chef blog. In fact, I made a GF version of my favorite lemon bars with the AP flour mix last weekend and nobody could tell the difference. Edited July 17, 2011 by MyCrazyHouse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMamaBird Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 I have no problems with that letter. It's politely informative and you offer a non-complicated solution. Hopefully it will be met positively. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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