ma23peas Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 The past week my mother and her sisters have been battling to get care for their other sister. In short, she is about 70 and has been in poor health the past year..one of her children ( who has always lived with her) is her primary source for care. This child, while in her 40's, has a low social maturity, has never held down a job and has been dependent on her mother for everything. The other two children offer little or no care and have had a history of drug abuse. The problem is they are allowing her to die, they are not feeding her, not giving her drink...she has developed bed sores b/c they would not turn her...my mother and her sisters are distraught and heading to court tomorrow to try and get power of attorney over her care. The children want her to pass so they can sell her home and split the funds between them....the other option is to turn over the value of the home (very small..less than 100k) to a nursing home so she can be treated and will likely live 2-3 more years. Right now her children refuse to let my mom or her sisters visit her because they called an ambulance to have her bedsores treated...she stayed in the hospital 3 days and they took her home...she was dehydrated...had a UTI and her potassium was way out of range...she was overmedicated on morphine/hydrocodone..by the third day she was coming out of the stupor and had her wits about her and was eating everything my mother fed her...hospice had come in and said the kids said she could not eat and the kids are calling people saying she has less than a week to live....they are killing her...but my aunts/mom feel their hands are tied.... My mom took pictures of the bedsores to the police thinking they had to investigate, but they said no but they would file a report. DHS said they would investigate but it could take 60 days...they fear she does not have that kind of time....are there any other options they have?? Thanks and please pray for their court tomorrow! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 :grouphug: In our state, you call Adult Protective Services. The hospital social worker should help you reach whatever you have in your state. Also, call her doctor(s). Nothing in the privacy laws prevents you from telling them things. If she goes to the ER, show up and talk to the doc and the social worker, immediately. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 Praying. Talk to a medical or mental health professional in the immediate area. They will be mandatory reporters of elder abuse. Talk to the Hospice professionals - they are mandatory reporters, also. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lara in Colo Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 Call a lawyer and get an emergency hearing. (for an order of protection, I think--or something like it) You should get a hearing within a week and be able to state your case. You should be able to get temporary relief for the patient. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G5052 Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 Enlist help everywhere you can -- social workers, Adult Protective Services (yes, they can do an emergency intervention), hospice, and maybe even an eldercare attorney. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 Enlist help everywhere you can -- social workers, Adult Protective Services (yes, they can do an emergency intervention), hospice, and maybe even an eldercare attorney. Document everything. Write it up calmly and clearly. Have the person most able to calmly express self do most of the contact with professionals. Iron fist in a velvet glove. If you want me to look over any letters and edit out laymen's terms and make it sound more like a doctor thinks, you are welcome to PM or email me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ma23peas Posted June 27, 2011 Author Share Posted June 27, 2011 Call a lawyer and get an emergency hearing. (for an order of protection, I think--or something like it)You should get a hearing within a week and be able to state your case. You should be able to get temporary relief for the patient. That is where they stand now, the hearing is tomorrow morning..one aunt (who lives in the same state and is the only sister able to get power of attorney due to residency)...they are concerned b/c my aunt filed for power of attorney and received it but then the children called an attorney and the judge revoked my aunt's poa without hearing anything....when the aunts/mom went to a local attorney (very small town) he did not encourage them at all. They are heartbroken, the last words my aunt (sick one) said to my mother was "Why are you leaving"....my mom/aunts are afraid of her son who is very angry about them trying to get control of her care. It's a horrible situation, but I had not heard of adult protective services, I will check and see if there are any of those in our state...thank you!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 (edited) See if your relative will change her will and then announce said change to the kids. (eta Sorry I missed that your mom is being kept away) Meanwhile, documentation is really important. I hope things work out. http://www.dhr.alabama.gov/services/Adult_Protective_Services/Adult_Protective_Services.aspx. ?? Edited June 28, 2011 by stripe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 Document everything. Write it up calmly and clearly. Have the person most able to calmly express self do most of the contact with professionals. Iron fist in a velvet glove. If you want me to look over any letters and edit out laymen's terms and make it sound more like a doctor thinks, you are welcome to PM or email me. Yes, and make it factual, not evaluative. "Elderly person's skin stayed showed no resiliency when pinched (dehydration)" "Bruise under arms, about 3 inches, deep blue in color" Not: "Caregivers want house, neglecting care" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ma23peas Posted June 28, 2011 Author Share Posted June 28, 2011 Document everything. Write it up calmly and clearly. Have the person most able to calmly express self do most of the contact with professionals. Iron fist in a velvet glove. If you want me to look over any letters and edit out laymen's terms and make it sound more like a doctor thinks, you are welcome to PM or email me. Thank you! So far all they have are the pictures they took in the hospital and her lab reports...the dhs rep for that county just seemed to be slow to act, she says she had a meeting at the Capitol and other comitments...really, there is only one person working these cases? Saying it could take 60 days seems negligent in an elder abuse case...praying for answers tomorrow..I will let my mother know your offer...so kind...my sister is a nurse so she as been giving my mother key words like 'tunneling' issues with bedsores... Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 I also found when I ran a search, the code pertaining to elder abuse. Maybe the police officer simply didn't realize this is a crime or how to characterize it. Although that is frightening. I don't know if pointing to specific laws would help but hopefully you get her help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2cents Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 You need to call the local Elder Abuse Agency ASAP to have the situation investigated. Make sure you tell them it is an emergency and there is a good possibility that her welfare is in danger. Also, have your mother and her sisters file for temp conservatorship pending full conservatorship. Make sure that the courts know it is an emergent case so that they schedule a hearing quickly. It sounds like the police did not handle this correctly or didn't understand the situation. Good luck with this! Been there and dealing with family elder abuse is a sad situation to deal with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kim in Appalachia Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 Thank you! So far all they have are the pictures they took in the hospital and her lab reports...the dhs rep for that county just seemed to be slow to act, she says she had a meeting at the Capitol and other comitments...really, there is only one person working these cases? Saying it could take 60 days seems negligent in an elder abuse case...praying for answers tomorrow..I will let my mother know your offer...so kind...my sister is a nurse so she as been giving my mother key words like 'tunneling' issues with bedsores... Thanks! I don't know where you live in Alabama. If it is anything like where I live (rural area), yes there probably is only one case worker, who also wears many hats and has a huge backlog. And as for the police, it's not that they don't care, but they won't do anything. They just don't see themselves getting in between family issues. Your best bet is to pull resources together and get a lawyer. Don't stop pursuing the social worker for elder abuse, but the fastest route will most likely be with a lawyer. :grouphug: I know what the situation is like. My family had to deal with something similar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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